By nature, men and women are two opposites. Thus, by default, men and women experience nothing in the same way.
There is a saying that men love with their eyes, and women love with their ears. We can see how a man can lose his mind when he sees a beautiful woman. An attractive woman can distract a man from any serious task. However, this does not mean that he is a bad husband or a bad man in general. It is simply his nature. A man can be completely in love with one woman, but can occasionally stare at others, and one has nothing to do with the other. It is simply part and parcel of man’s nature.
The situation with women is completely different. According to nature, a woman cares about the home environment. She builds a family nest and sees to it being comfortable and welcoming. Regardless of the fact that today we live in the so-called “unisex” era, the natural urge of the woman—before it comes in contact with various social and media influences that can redirect the woman’s natural desire in myriad directions—is to take care of her very own home. Therefore, she requires a man who can sustain it. That is why women are more likely to fall in love with smart and wealthy men rather than with handsome ones.
In a woman, a man looks at the purely external and corporeal features that attract him. Even if behind the beautiful “interface,” he finds a girl who could be considered as silly, he is okay with that. As long as the woman falls into his idea of beauty, then that is enough for him.
However, it is not with the case with a woman. She judges a man not by his appearance, but makes a precise calculation whether she can build a comfortable family nest and raise her children with this particular man. Therefore, a woman can get used to any kind of man, but only as long as he aligns with her nature.
What we know about black holes is that inside them, time stops, laws of physics do not apply, and their gravitational field consumes everything, including light.
In our world, we live within three dimensions: time, space and motion. Each of these dimensions conditions the other.
The human mind can comprehend nothing beyond these dimensions. We can make measurements, receive results, and even build models, but in our current limited perception of reality, we are unable to piece together the whole picture.
Why?
According to the law of equivalence of form, it is in order to understand that reaching a different nature requires attaining its qualities.
This is where the wisdom of Kabbalah can help us. Kabbalah gives us an opportunity to expand the boundary of our perception and receive an additional sense with which we can penetrate the unknown. We will then be able to perceive exactly what is inside a black hole, and how we observe from that point.
We live below the speed of light. If we take the universe into consideration, we seem to be very primitive, as being under something means being completely ruled by it, controlled by this light that we exist within, and unable to realize an independent sensation of ourselves within this reality.
However, by becoming closer to the qualities of the light and rising above our nature, we will then gain complete knowledge and sensation of our universe, including what we now perceive as the secrets of the black holes.
There is a point of view that being optimistic is more beneficial than being pessimistic, that optimists live longer, and that they are more successful. However, this is not what we see in reality.
Naturally, every quality has its opposite, e.g. left and right, light and darkness, men and women, and so on. Each quality balances another, giving it a premise for future development.
Our society is a locked interdependent system. If we want to be healthy and progress in this system, then accordingly, we need to be both optimists and pessimists.
We all have optimistic and pessimistic qualities embedded in different proportions. Some people are naturally more optimistic while others are more pessimistic. Despite being unable to change our innate characteristics, we can learn how to use them in specific ways so as to make a meaningful impact on both our individual lives and on society in general.
The wisdom of Kabbalah teaches us how to do so.
Optimism and pessimism manifest only in relation to something or someone. In order to balance these opposite qualities within us, we have to create a kind of resistor or management tool, which provides us with an opportunity to select when and where each quality needs to be used and in what proportion.
A single person is incapable of doing so. Therefore, in order to create a regulating device between optimism and pessimism, we need to participate in the creation of a society that provides each member with an opportunity to train such a fusion in a common network of interaction, aimed at a common goal of harmonious social connections. I always have a part of a person I have to contact within me, and he has the part of me within him. Interaction between us helps to reveal those properties and start working with them.
In today’s modern society, where various characteristics that are distributed among humanity create rich diversity, we need to understand how to complement one another, and how to use the method of connection that leads us to succeed in building a complete system. If we stick optimistic and pessimistic attitudes and together for a common goal, we will see a perfect picture.
People who are lazy generally lack purpose in their lives.
Our nature is a desire to enjoy. This desire manifests in two directions: either we have a goal and strive in order to achieve it, enjoying the fruit it bears, or we run away from pain, and avoiding suffering is what we consider as enjoyable.
In order to gain the impetus to progress in life, where we do more than merely run away from pain, we need to establish what our purpose in life is, and it needs to be worth the effort to achieve.
There is generally no success in any field without effort.
Effort is a prerequisite for success because contributing to something makes us value the results. If we were given something without first having invested effort, we would not know how to enjoy it. However, in order to have the constant fuel to strive, the goal needs to be important.
I have been studying and teaching the wisdom of Kabbalah for over 40 years. The immense importance of the purpose of the study provides me with the motivation to work day and night. It is because investing in this work means investing in the human soul. Therefore, the efforts that I apply, even though they might be tough and unpleasant at times, bring me tremendous joy.
The same goes for all people. If we find a goal that suits our inner request, it will give us the fuel we need to work determinantly in order to achieve it, and experience no tiredness on the way.
The main challenge is in setting the goal.
Our desires and yearnings are affected by various social influences. Unfortunately, the enormous amount of redundant information filling our culture extinguishes our true internal aspiration, replacing it with cheap and artificial pleasures.
Nevertheless, everybody has a chance to exit this vicious circle. How? Ironically, it is with the help of laziness.
Laziness gives us an opportunity to slow down from the rat race and ask ourselves whether our regular engagements really lead to something worthwhile, whether our ultimate goal is correct, and whether we have enough importance and motivation to continue. If not, then we can examine the ways to change our goals and actions.
It is a consequence of the internal pressure they feel.
We can say that today’s youth just seek attention and try to deal with the lack of their parents’ and society’s participation in their lives, which is also true, but the root cause lies much deeper.
What makes young adults commit massacres?
They simply don’t know what they live for.
If I have no goal, and my social environments, from the home through to society at large, give me insufficient importance of any specific direction that could really develop me and not just relate to me as a “user,” “consumer” or “customer” in its systems, then I start seeking my own ways to express what is inside of me.
Each and every child, and especially teenager, wants to be loved and taken care of.
Youth have to feel that the surrounding world values them and is ready to support them. Unfortunately, today, there is just an illusion of such a system of support. Moreover, even if it really existed, it wouldn’t be enough.
What is missing in society for today’s youth?
According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, our desires have developed to a point today where all the pleasures and beauty available in the world fail to satisfy our inner requests.
Nothing provides us with a failsafe response to the question, “Why am I here?” or “How can I turn my useless existence into something great and valuable?”
There are various theories and approaches that provide different answers to such questions, but they all fall within the realm of achieving something corporeal in this world, or some kind of fantasy pleasure in the afterlife, and an increasing amount of people are waking up to the fruitlessness in such approaches.
This is simply because a new desire is awakening in humanity, which demands a new kind of fulfillment to everything we have ever felt or imagined until today.
Human nature is a continuously growing desire to enjoy. It develops through desires for food, sex, family, money, honor, control, knowledge, and the peak evolution of this desire is when it starts craving spirituality.
At that point, our desires to enjoy pleasures in our world reach a dead end. We become increasingly dissatisfied with life, either trying to dumb down the desire with drugs, medicines, video games, watching hours of Internet video, and many other such engagements; others gauge that dissatisfaction into extremist forms of hatred at society, which can lead to harming others.
What we lack is a method that can lead us to understand how and why this nature is working on us as it does, and how through increased awareness of nature, discover the concealed force of nature that can fulfill this most developed desire: the force of love and bestowal.
The younger generation, especially teenagers, feel this necessity the most. They subconsciously disagree with the world they are coming to terms with, a world where they are afraid to express their feelings, and where all kinds of manipulations stand behind a façade of care and concern.
They want something real and genuine, but have no comprehension of what is real and genuine, since there is no example of anything like that in the surrounding society.
Such helplessness pushes some to commit rash acts, even though they are neither stupid nor criminals—it is just how the inner pressure affects them.
Moreover, we as a society are responsible for it.
Therefore, if we want our future generation to live happily and fulfilled, without engaging in antisocial and destructive thoughts, ideas and actions, we then have to take care of our society.
We need to teach both adults and youth how to exit the false paradigm of this world, how to understand reality, how to correctly relate to the myriad influences of the information age, and discern, from within all the noise, the ultimate meaning of life: the entrance to the upper world, a higher level of existence where our currently tense and divisive relations become replaced with positive, supportive and encouraging ones due to the revelation of the higher force of love and bestowal in our connections.
Each and every person holds a key to happiness. However, it can only be activated and applied when in positive connection with other people.
There is an expression that habit becomes second nature. In our daily lives, we concentrate solely on our own problems and concerns. It is simply how we are built. Naturally, we think only about ourselves and our closest environments.
Nevertheless, our sensation of happiness depends on our engagement in social interaction and communication. Much recent research in the fields of happiness science and positive psychology certifies this point. Therefore, in order to become genuinely happy, we need to change the direction of our daily habits and concerns from benefiting ourselves to benefiting others, or in other words, to stop thinking about ourselves and start taking care of others.
How can we undergo this transformation?
We can do so by gathering several people into a supportive environment, where each member will be directed at the same goal: positive connection above division in order to discover the most harmonious states we can experience, including true happiness, love, freedom and peace.
Then, in such an environment, we will need to undergo connection-enriching education, regularly training our hearts to act in mutual encouragement, support and respect toward one another above a constantly growing ego within us operating in the other direction, to exploit others for its own benefit.
By doing so, we will gradually achieve a balanced state in society, one where we will experience true and lasting happiness.
Happiness, therefore, is in our hands, but we hold it together. We are mutually dependent on and responsible for each other in order to achieve true happiness, and we thus require a certain learning method and framework in society.
That is what the wisdom of Kabbalah offers. It is a method for connection that anyone can apply in order to exercise positive connections in society above our divisive drives, and by doing so, reach harmonious states that we have never before experienced or imagined.
There are no secrets in Kabbalah and never have been.
The entire problem is only in society’s possibility of correctly accepting it, adapting to it, tasting it, and using it correctly for its development.
For example, it is written in The Book of Zohar that of the great Kabbalist Rabbi Shimon Bar-Yochai’s ten disciples, only Rabbi Aba could correctly expound upon the teaching so that it would be accessible, smooth, correct, and at the same time, hidden.
In other words, the concealment in Kabbalah is that it discusses the higher world, beyond our current perception of reality, which we perceive through our five senses. To perceive the higher reality, we need to develop an additional sense, called a “screen” (“Masach”) in Kabbalah. Such attainment is available to anyone who so desires, and the method is laid out in a way where it can be researched, attained and repeated by anyone. It is only a matter of whether one has a desire to attain a reality higher than our current one, and whether one applies oneself in the method according to the guidance of the Kabbalist teacher.
A person is born with a particular spiritual potential and can choose whether to realize it in our world or not.
When the body of a person dies, this spiritual potential passes to another body that is born, and that is how it continues until it is fully realized. This is what Kabbalah considered as reincarnation, i.e., it is relevant only in relation to our spiritual potential.
Therefore, according to a person’s interests, it is possible to understand the level of his or her spiritual potential: if one still finds satisfaction in corporeal desires for food, sex, family, money, honor, control and knowledge, or if one finds less and less satisfaction in those desires, and finds oneself contemplating the meaning and purpose to life more and more.
If it’s the latter, then it’s a sign of a person’s spiritual desire awakening, which Kabbalah calls “the point in the heart.” The wisdom of Kabbalah is a method for developing this desire until we can perceive the eternal reality of the soul through it. When we reach the full realization of this spiritual potential, we no longer need to reincarnate in our world.
The Bible (or Torah) is sublime and spiritual, but, frankly, it can be a bit long on history with its lists of relations. You read about people marrying, divorcing, cheating on each other, and killing one another. A fair question might be: what’s so spiritual about that?
In the framework of Kabbalah, however, the Bible doesn’t tell stories of people. Instead, it presents relations between spiritual forces.
“First, you must know that when dealing with spiritual matters that have no concern with time, space, and motion, and especially when dealing with Godliness, we do not have the words by which to express and contemplate. …For that reason, the sages of the Kabbalah have chosen a special language, which we can call “the language of the branches.”—Yehuda Ashlag, Talmud Eser Sefirot (The Study of the Ten Sefirot), Part 1, Histaklut Pnimit (Inner Reflection).
The Bible shows the process of the correction of souls through higher forces. This takes the souls on their path of ascent as they rise in their ability to bestow. Characters such as Adam, Noah, and Abraham are not thought of as people who lived somewhere and wandered (or floated) around. They are considered forces that operate over desires that have to be corrected, within each and every one of us. For example, the story of the exodus of Hebrew slaves from Egypt represents not their freedom from physical bondage, but the acquisition of the first Masach (screen), the crossing of the barrier.
Some stories may seem to have no rationality or sanctity in them. When reading them, remember that these are not events, but stories of forces. They are not to be understood or justified in earthly terms.
The science of Kabbalah is unique in the way it talks about you and me, about all of us. It doesn’t deal with anything abstract, only with the way we are created and how we function at higher levels of existence.
One of its sections talks about the descent of the higher forces from the world of Ein Sof (Infinity). The world of Ein Sof is our initial state, and there we exist as a single, unified system of souls, completely interconnected. Then, from the world of Ein Sof, we study the sequence of worlds, Sefirot and Partzufim as they descend to the world we live in.
Many Kabbalistic books have been written about it, starting with Abraham the Patriarch around 4,000 years ago, who wrote a book called Sefer Yetzira (The Book of Creation).
The next important work is The Book of Zohar, written in the second century CE. The Zohar is followed by the works of the Ari, a renowned 16th century Kabbalist. And the 20th century saw the appearance of the works of Kabbalist Yehuda Ashlag (Baal HaSulam).
Baal HaSulam’s texts are best suited for our generation.
They, as well as other Kabbalistic sources, describe the structure of the upper worlds, how they descend and successively bring lower worlds into existence, and how our world came into being, the universe, our globe, and how life evolved. Studying how that system was created and how it descends to our world allows us to master the method of entering this system and governing it.
We, for the most part, study the six volume textbook Talmud Eser Sefirot (The Study of the TenSefirot), written by Yehuda Ashlag. It is designed as a study aid with questions, answers, materials for repetition and memorization, explanations, graphics and drawings. This is, if you will, the physics of the upper world, describing the laws and forces governing the universe.
This material gradually transforms the students, because when searching how to enter and begin to live in the spiritual world, one gradually adapts oneself to the material.
The science of Kabbalah does not deal with life in this world. Instead, by studying this system we re-attain our level before we descended, the same level where we will be at the end of our ascent from this world. During this ascent, the study of Kabbalah builds within the student a system equal to the higher system.
This system begins to organize and manifest itself in the person who wants to achieve it, and who studies it for this purpose. Just like a drop of semen can potentially evolve into an entire human being, and subsequently grows into a mature grown-up, the science of Kabbalah develops our desire to attain a higher level of existence.
At first this is a tiny desire, called “a point in the heart.” This point is like the embryo of our future states. By studying the structure of the upper world, we develop the “genetic” information within it, and as it grows, the structure resembling the higher levels forms within us.
This is why studying is so rewarding. Even if we do not understand a single thing about what we are reading, simply trying to understand the Kabbalistic texts nurtures the point in the heart, the desire for the higher force, and the point begins to grow. The more it grows, the more we feel the appearance of a new creation, a new and different feeling of a world within ourselves.
In so doing, the science of Kabbalah gives us the opportunity to feel the upper worlds, to understand everything that happens to us, and most of all, to control this process for ourselves.
I recommend that before approaching the aforementioned books, to take a introductory course, so that you will be able to get guidance on how to approach the books to reap the most spiritual benefit. I have added links to various courses you could choose to start from in my Quora bio.
Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Do men and women experience falling in love or being in love differently?“
