KabNet published my new article: “How Balanced Relations between Genders Solves Depression: Women’s Depression and the Meaning of Life“

Depression is a global epidemic. Currently, over 300 million people around the world suffer from depression, and women are diagnosed nearly twice as much as men.

Why is there such a striking gender gap in the numbers of depressed people in the world?

Dissatisfaction in women compared to men has a deep spiritual root. It is embedded in the feminine nature.

Is There Anything That Could Completely Fulfill a Woman?

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, there is.

Spiritual attainment.

Spirituality is attained when the woman—the female force—uses her deep desire to propel the man—the male force —to reach a higher purpose in life. The complementarity of the opposite male and female forces enables their mutual attainment of harmony and fulfillment.

The female ability to elevate the world to a higher state stands at humanity’s foundation. Just as the old adage says, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” Nature is designed such that the female ability determines how to correctly adjust and direct the world, i.e., how to find the appropriate cooperation between male and female forces so that both function together supportively and harmoniously.

Women’s sense of longing is evidently far greater than men’s. A man can be more easily satisfied by earthly fulfillments, for instance, by engaging in some activity together with his friends.

A woman desires more depth. She wants warmth and love. She longs for more sympathy and support. Her way of fulfilling herself is a lot more complicated than how men fulfill themselves.

Everything begins and ends with a woman. She feels herself as the center of reality, the queen of the world. Her sense of uniqueness is a natural feeling that she rightfully embodies.

“When we attract this force, it performs what is called a “correction” upon our self-centered, egoistic desires, which naturally oppose the tendency to unite, the needed “click” for us all to merge as one and experience a higher level of reality.”

Why It Is Nearly Impossible for Women to Truly Bond

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, it is nearly impossible for women to truly bond. Their yearning for a greater sense of wholeness can only emerge when opposite forces support one another in a delicate balance.

Therefore, male and female forces need very precise fine-tuning so that an intermediary force emerges between them: the force of love, bestowal, and connection. The study of Kabbalah deals primarily with how to attract this force in order to unite people, and discover an eternal and whole reality in such connection. When we attract this force, it performs what is called a “correction” upon our self-centered, egoistic desires, which naturally oppose the tendency to unite, the needed “click” for us all to merge as one and experience a higher level of reality.

It is written that “man and woman, the Divine presence is between them.” The correct combination and functionality of male and female forces is that:

1. the female force balances the male force by activating the male force toward connection, and

2. the male force balances the female force by providing it with strength, understanding and support for the female to rise above its nature.

This is the mutual complementarity that allows male and female forces to function harmoniously.

What Force Is the First to Activate the Other: The Male or the Female?

It is the female. The need and request for unification always emerges from the female. The desire for a connection in the depth of the desire, the soul, is at the basis of every woman’s dissatisfaction and depression.

Even though men think they make progress and breakthroughs due to their own abilities, in fact, all of the male’s activities are for the female, i.e., in order to become significant in their eyes. It is the way we are naturally built.

Thanks to the differences between genders, over which they need to connect into a single whole, perfection becomes possible. There is nothing in each of them alone that the other doesn’t complement, since in spirituality, their wholeness can only exist in mutual complementarity according to the principle, “love will cover all transgressions.”

In other words, instead of fighting our differences and focusing on the differences between men and women, we need to find our common ground of support and understanding where we can together discover a much greater fulfillment and purpose in life—the revelation of how nature functions in more unified levels—and start resembling our relationships to nature’s own form of complete unification.

The sensation of attaining perfect unity will cure depression, as we will work directly with the key that unlocks our negative sensations, opening them to a fulfillment of a completely new kind: balance with nature’s unified form.
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New Life 277 – The Male Brain And The Female Brain, Part 2
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Spiritual transcendence occurs when a person constructs himself both as a man and a woman. We perform actions as men when we help others and desire to attain spirituality. We behave as women when we receive help from others and desire to enjoy life. Completion, wholeness, and true love between the genders requires connecting through sharing a common goal: to be one and to benefit the single system in which we all live. In the state of love for others, awareness will include both genders since a whole person has both male and female aspects. In such a connection, we will find that the differences between men and women disappear in the concept of one where there is a new brain structure, a new way of life, and a new dimension.
From KabTV’s “New Life 277 – The Male Brain And The Female Brain, Part 2, ” 12/31/13

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New Life 276 – The Male Brain And The Female Brain, Part 1
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Men and women experience the desire to enjoy in opposite ways, which are supposed to connect into one perfect system at the end of development. Women desire to build a home, a place to rule. Men, on the other hand, desire to break out, far away from home, and play with all kinds of new things. The nature of a woman is to absorb and receive. The nature of a man is to spread and overcome. In recent generations, there has been confusion and shuffling between the genders and the distinctions are fading. Men have taken on a feminine form since they are weaker than women. Men lack patience and are only strong in the short-term, whereas women are connected to nature and can survive long-term. The destruction of the masculine nature is not a coincidence but a course planned in the evolution of nature.
From KabTV’s “New Life 276 – The Male Brain And The Female Brain, Part 1,” 12/30/13

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New Life 1148 – How To Arouse Love In Couple Relationships
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

Couples need to learn how to build, inspire, and revive their love relationships by rising above egoism. We need to learn how to understand our egoistic human nature and why we cannot tolerate one another. Couples who want to undergo such a process need guidance in a group course where participants show each other how much they try to rise above their own desires for the benefit of their partner. Love is like an animal and must be constantly fed. Rising above egoism opens new horizons according to the principle, “love will cover all transgressions.”
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From KabTV’s “New Life 1148 – How To Arouse Love In Couple Relationships,” 8/1/19

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Question from Facebook: Why is loneliness given to us and how do we correct it?

Answer: Loneliness is given to you for you to feel that everything is in your hands, nobody pressures you, you are in charge of your condition, and you can do everything.

Start to use your loneliness correctly and you will see how good it is because in reality this state is given to you by the Creator so that you can turn to Him.
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From KabTV’s “Answers to the questions from the Facebook,” 3/10/19

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Question: A woman can internally pass her desire to a man. Many women wish their men were closer to the Creator. What does it mean to pass this desire?

Answer: If a woman wants something from a man, she will always get it. The world is arranged this way.

A woman’s desire is not announced aloud. You know yourself how to influence a man quietly, without opening your mouth but in such a way that he feels as if he is beaten on the head. This is the correct action on behalf of a woman. It is intentionally arranged this way in nature. We, men, must accept this and even be happy that women have the opportunity to guide us on the right track.

If a woman wants her husband to move toward understanding the meaning of life, then, of course, this is a special woman and a great wife. Therefore, we must appreciate such women, set them as an example for others. And of course, we should help in some way so that husbands would appreciate and obey them. I wish to the ones who are not married to find such husbands.

Question: Can there be overkill from the women’s side?

Answer: No. Women have a very clear maternal attitude. She knows how to behave in relation to her husband. If she aspires to the purpose of creation, she really will be able to direct him. So it turns out that a man implements and a woman directs.

I can say from my forty years of experience that if a woman in the family recognizes the greatness of the goal and what the group does, then the husband will definitely study and will not go anywhere. Yet, if the wife is against it, in the end, he stops studying and leaves.

Here, everything depends on the wife. The female’s desire in the world is much stronger and more decisive than the male’s.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian, 4/14/19

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New Life 1128 – Women And The Essence Of Life
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

The need for internal convergence is particularly evident in women. The nature of women is to relax, absorb, test, and connect to the eternal flow of nature. As women, we must find out what nature wants from us and understand the goal toward which we are advancing. As the world attempts to confuse and seduce us, we must continually ask ourselves “how am I realizing life on a higher level and discovering the essence of life?”
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From KabTV’s “New Life 1128 – Women And The Essence Of Life,” 6/25/19

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Question: What awaits the family institution? How do we save, strengthen, and balance it? How can Kabbalah help with this?

Answer: I think this year the family institution, along with other social institutions, will face very serious challenges. We will continue to see problems in the family, separation between parents and children and between the parents themselves, divisions between different families and generations: parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren. People will feel no sense of belonging to one another: you gave birth to me, raised me, and now I am leaving.

Consequently, we will reach a state, where no one will owe anyone anything, no one can ask anything from the other: “Leave me alone. What do I care about all of you and why do you care about me?”

After that, along with general recognition of evil, supplied to us by our egoism, we will finally start to realize that there is nothing left to do but try to correct it. Life will become so unbearable (not only in the family but in all its aspects) that people will have no hope left for the future or the present.

One will truly begin to understand that to be alone among other people is worse than being alone in the jungle where you don’t know where to place your foot without being stung or attacked from above.

A person will feel threatened by the environment: one seems to be among people, but in an urban jungle where one cannot make it to the store and back even if he runs. One will feel that no one can or is even willing to help him.

I hope that will be enough for us to realize that we need to do something with our human nature. We will then listen and hear that there is a method that corrects our nature and it is ready. Everything depends only on the person himself. Maybe then that person will come to us.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian, 1/13/19

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Question: From the point of view of science, isn’t the love a person feels for another simply a chemical process occurring in his body?

Answer: Of course, these are all chemical processes.

Question: What is love in terms of Kabbalah?

Answer: It is love at another level. But ultimately it is realized in us in the same physical and chemical processes. Only in Kabbalah it is studied from its upper source, from where it appears in us.

In fact, everything is determined by what is called “soul affinity,” that is, how much our souls, our spiritual components, are in a close state to each other in the common system of all souls in the world. Accordingly, we become attracted to and find each other.

It seems like it is a coincidence, that there are some circumstances. It is nothing of the kind. There are no coincidences in the world. Only the upper root brings us into some kind of movement toward each other. It obliges us to pay attention to each other and get close. At what level and in what sense to get close depends on the quality of our spiritual roots.

Question: How does this spiritual convergence occur?

Answer: A person in our world does not know this. We, as they say, “sniff” each other, study each other. It seems to us that we are suitable or not. It seems to us that circumstances lead to this, and everyone says: “You are so alike, similar,” and so on. This is all the world of dolls, the world of a game. But in fact, spiritual forces, spiritual roots, determine everything.

Question: How does one search for a spiritual partner?

Answer: People will not be able to. People do not understand. We study this in the science of Kabbalah and understand how it works. But in our world, we still cannot realize it.

Question: Is love a relationship of souls?

Answer: Love is the attraction of kindred souls. But this is spiritual, ideal love.

Question: What is a soulmate?

Answer: Soulmates are those who are in very close combination in the spiritual world.

There is a common soul. In it, there are many, billions of private souls that coexist with each other in all sorts of combinations. Their combinations determine the convergence, separation, and movement, including physical, in general, all this Brownian movement between us in our world.

Question: Does the name “my other half” imply a soulmate?

Answer: This is the perfect case.

Question: What is lovesickness?

Answer: Lovesickness in our world is purely egoistic suffering because I need fulfillment and I cannot find it. “Where is my second half that will fill me?” It’s just like: “Where is my dinner that I want to eat that I’m supposed to have?” It is absolutely the same. It is also the same with sex and with all the other fillings.

Question: What should be the principle of relationships of love in terms of Kabbalah?

Answer: This is a mutual understanding, the pursuit of a common goal, in which we unite together as one. But only in a common goal.

Question: Can this goal be anything?

Answer: No, only the spiritual goal! A spiritual goal is the union of our souls. As the great English poet Chaucer wrote: “Reach the merging of our souls in the tangle of our bodies.” He laughed at this—what we want.

Question: What is the lovesickness (“suffering out of love”) in Kabbalistic terms?

Answer: It is when I want to find my soulmate, including all the other souls in the world, in order to reach a state of spiritual connection between us, when I give everything, and through them I give it to the Creator. This is called true love. Eternal.

Question: Can there be a separation between soulmates, a break in communication? Why does it occur?

Answer: I did not observe such effects in our world. We are still in a state where our world is broken, and it only just begins its approach to the spiritual, corrected world.

We will definitely enter it. The question is when? We will reach a state where we will simultaneously perform actions in our world on the basis of spiritual actions. Then, we will fall in love with the soul and unite “soul to soul” as they say. Then everything will coexist in this way. I cannot imagine that separation is possible at this state.

Question: Then separation will not exist?

Answer: No. This is eternal love!
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From the TV program “News with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman”, 2/28/18

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Thrive Global published my new article: “International Women’s Day 2019: Nature’s Recipe for Gender-Balance“

“The human is the inclusion of male and female, and the world cannot be built, if male and female are not both present” (The Book of Zohar).

International Women’s Day is upon us again, and this year’s keyword is “balance” – the idea is to drive gender-balance across the world.

The aspiration behind wanting to create balance is good and correct. It comes from a genuine desire to find wholeness, completion and perfection in the interaction between the men and women of the world. But what is gender-balance? How do we determine where the balance is? If we look for it through our own eyes – whether as a man or woman – we’ll only see things partially and incorrectly.

When it comes to balance, we need to see things from nature’s point of view.

There are two opposite forces working throughout all of nature and they manifest through various forces, actions and beings: plus and minus, protons and electrons, heat and cold, ebb and flow, inhaling and exhaling. Or in our case – male and female.

If we try to eliminate or disregard the differences between any instances of nature’s two opposite forces, then we’re attempting to meddle with nature. Trying to turn a plus into a minus will ultimately cause trouble, even when we can’t see it in the short run.

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, men and women can only complete each other when the purpose of their relationship is to discover the deeper force of nature that binds them together. As it is written, “man, woman, and the divine presence between them.”

The deeper binding force of nature is one. It is not masculine or feminine, not a plus or a minus. It’s the only true oneness there is. Men and women need each other to rise slightly above the human ego, and discover that force together. To do so, they each need to activate their unique attributes and complete each other. So instead of focusing on how men or women can rise separately, we need to be thinking of rising together.

It’s no coincidence that the drive to find new balance between the genders has become so prominent in our time. Humans are evolving to find a higher experience of life, and this is why we have a yearning for a greater sense of wholeness. But harmony can only emerge when opposite forces complement each other.

The difference between male and female is not a “gender difference.” It is an infinite gap that stems from the very nature of creation. We don’t need to be the same. We need to stay different, and learn how to complete each other.

— Published on March 3, 2019

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