The “desert” I enter when I exit egoistic bondage is the group. To be in mutual bestowal and feel pleasure from the fact that you bestow to everybody is a true “desert” and “bread of affliction” (Matzot, unleavened bread) for me.

If I could receive egoistic pleasure from bestowal, I would gladly give in order to receive. But I cannot give “in order to bestow,” without any personal benefit. I am unable to act this way; I cannot move a finger “on the fuel of bestowal.” I don’t receive any sustenance from this, so how can an engine work without fuel, without electricity?

Egoistic reception gives me enormous energy of all kinds, calories, joules, watts, but bestowal gives nothing. I move my hand to receive, but as soon as I discover that it is bestowal, I freeze and can’t move further. At that moment when, amidst the action, I find out that it is aimed at bestowal, I freeze, motionless, and cannot do a thing. You can scream to me, “Come on! Do it! Just one more step!” but I can’t take it.

Therefore, we are unable to see the beauty of the spiritual world and start desiring it from our Egypt. Only the group imbues us with the paramount importance of spirituality; it deceives our ego making it believe that it will feel good in spirituality.

Since we are internally connected and influence each other, I accept this lie just like I used to accept the lies of the corporeal world that promised me pleasures, manipulating my pride, lust, and ambition. I suddenly start desiring spirituality so strongly that I am ready to abandon all my egoistic possessions, the “blossoming cities of Pithom and Ramses” filled with pots of fish and meat and flee to the desert with one sack of flour on my back.

Hence, all our work lies in convincing each other that the spiritual world is the best thing that can be out there. This is so even if in relation to our current egoistic desires, spirituality is an absolute desert and bread of affliction.

So, don’t despair in the states of descent since they are authentic states that are supposed to come before the breakthrough. On one hand, I realistically evaluate the situation and realize that I don’t wish to bestow; I hate and resent it. Yet, it is so important that I want to reach it no matter what and see life without spirituality as worse than death. This attitude in me is generated by the society.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/31/10, “This is for Judah”

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We all are outside of the spiritual world, in the same Egyptian bondage that the Passover Haggadah describes. Therefore, we need to sort through and realize how well we are prepared for the opportunity to escape which may be presented to us at any moment. Will we be able to flee?

For the time being, the spiritual work tastes like dry and bland Matzot (unleavened bread) for us. Moreover, the love of friends tastes bitter, and we don’t want it. All this means that we are in exile from spirituality. We feel that the spiritual world is much more exalted, but I am exiled from it because I am unable to appreciate and comprehend how good it is. In my sensory organs, I experience it as bad, which means that I am in the dark.

It isn’t Egypt itself which is dark; Egypt, as such, is an enormous and rich empire, dazzling and abundant. Darkness results from my seeking spirituality while I am in Egypt. I feel exiled in relation to spirituality, and for me it is the “bread of affliction.”

I experience this state only if I desire to exit Egypt, and I must agree to eat such simple bread in order to prepare myself to escape. I will agree to flee if I feel that Egypt threatens me with the Egyptian plagues, and I can’t bear such a state any longer. I will feel that I truly desire to unite with the others, but the Pharaoh won’t let me.

I wish to advance at least a little bit and from this egoistic bondage reach some form of bestowal. I feel that there is life only in bestowal, but for now, I am in Lo Lishma (not for Her Name), in egoism, and wish to use it to win, to escape from the Pharaoh who brings me misfortunes.

Such an attitude must be formed in the group so that we would start crying from such hard labor, Moshe (Moses) would pull us forth, and the Pharaoh would show himself in full force, letting me know that the use of egoism no longer promises us anything good in the future. After all, the point in the heart has reached such opposition to egoism that we cannot bear it anymore.

We connected with each other and raised the importance of the spiritual goal to such a height that we cannot stay in our ego. We wish to break free from it. Let me eat the bread of affliction in the future; it doesn’t matter. I must be in bestowal. All fulfillments that Egypt grants are at the animate level, but I don’t wish to live solely for my stomach and feed my animal. I wish to live a human life for the Human in me.

All these calculations lead me to escape, but the escape itself is a miracle from Above.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/31/10, “This Is for Judah”

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Coming out of exile is exiting our egoistic desire, ascending from it by way of faith above reason, from Lo Lishma (for oneself) to Lishma (for the Creator), from love of myself to love of others. What do we undergo while preparing for this exodus and fleeing from our “will to receive” to the “will to bestow”? It is paramount for us to know it since we are approaching this state right now.

“Here is the bread of affliction eaten by our forefathers in the land of Egypt” (Passover Haggadah). When we reside in our ego, we eat the “bread of affliction of the pauper” because we are beggars in relation to spirituality and receive only a tiny bit of Light, a minimal spark of life (Kista de Hayuta) or so-called “faint illumination” (Ner Dakik) that brings to life all of our world.

It is not the “bread” eaten in Egypt. In Egypt, there is lots of food. Our ego gives us everything: Please, do enjoy! However, as soon as we start desiring the spiritual world, long before exiting egoistic “Egypt,” we start tasting the “bread of affliction” since we don’t understand how one can reach bestowal and what good is in it.

I don’t taste any flavor in it. Everything is dry and insipid as this simple cracker made of only flour and water. That is how the spiritual world that I am walking to looks to me. Do I have to flee the prosperous Egypt, all the pleasure-pots filled with fish and meat, rich and delicious, in order to live on the bread of affliction in the desert? Is that what I yearn for?

However, it is indeed so. This is why it is written that “the commandment to eat unleavened bread (Matzot, the bread of affliction) was given to the sons of Israel long before their exodus from Egypt as a symbol of liberation that will come to pass in haste.”

“In haste” means that otherwise it is impossible to exit egoism. Spirituality looks so unattractive and repulsive that exiting into it must be rushed due to the aggressive, external force pulling from egoism. I, myself, am unable to step out of this marvelous world as it seems to me in my egoistic desire.

As for the spiritual world, it seems pitch black darkness to my ego. There is nothing attractive for my egoism there, and I don’t want to see it. Hence, the escape can be made only “in haste”; I am thrown out of there abruptly. Let’s hope the same will be done with us.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/31/10, “This Is for Judah”

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Question: What do I receive from the Creator in the measure of my equivalence to Him?

Answer: In the degree of my similarity to the Creator, I receive His mind and sensation. I connect with Him through mind and feeling and obtain the same sensation of oneness, completeness, and eternity that exist in Him. In my “line” vessel I receive “circle” vessels.

The Upper system was constructed so that from each “circle” would expand a “line” (desire restricted by the screen), followed by a “circle” and a “line” again. To the extent of my efforts “from below upward,” I exert strength and ascend to the first circle which is regarded as the first revelation of the Creator and the first degree of similarity to Him. I exert effort again and reveal Him more in the next circle.

With each new step, I work with ZAT de Bina (seven lower Sefirot of Bina), and the Upper degree for me is GAR de Bina (the first three Sefirot of Bina) with which I cannot work and which I receive from Above as a result of adhesion. In this fashion, I climb the 125 rungs of the spiritual ladder.

“In the straight line,” I myself exert effort, annul myself, work with the anti-egoistic screens, and connect with other people. To the degree that I have completed this work, I come to the revelation of the Creator, the state of a “circle,” perfection, a mini-world of Infinity.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/28/10, “The Acting Mind”

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Question: What does it mean to think about unity during the reading of The Zohar in order to have the entire group cross the “Red Sea” and enter the spiritual world?

Answer: The Zohar reveals that what happens from the perspective of the spiritual vessels (desires), that is, different types of connection. It does not describe the picture from the Light’s perspective. There are Kabbalistic books that contain descriptions from the Light’s perspective: how different Lights come and how they spread. It is like we are being told what is depicted in a certain picture.

To provide a description from the desires’ perspective, however, is to explain how a picture was drawn, not what is actually drawn. It is like saying what colors one needs, how they are mixed, how to apply them on the canvas, or what technique and brush to use.

It turns out that a spiritual picture is not simply made by freely drawing whatever I want, like from the Light’s perspective. No, at first, everything needs to be arranged as if you were using a ruler and other graphing “tools” (Kelim, vessels); everything needs to be calculated. This is because it comes from the side of the desires, the spiritual vessels, and they need to be well-prepared in the first place.

This is the narrative style of The Zohar and the entire “practical” Kabbalah that comes from the side of the created beings: the depth (Aviut, coarseness) of the desire that is needed, the screens, different actions including screens, and that which will be consequently revealed. We need to use this description and draw the picture ourselves, instead of simply enjoying it.

If we already were in these states, we would be able to enjoy the picture in a different way. We would read and receive the explanations of the picture that we would already see. However, so far, we are unable to be impressed by the picture. We arrive from the side of the desires and learn to draw the picture. The Zohar tells us step by step where we need to arrive and hands us the instruments that we need to create this “canvas.”

We create this picture in the group, in the unity between us, and all the names, lines, and all the objects only stand for different types of interconnections of the desires. Once you connect them and create even the initial, minimal connection, you will attain the first spiritual degree, and the picture will become revealed.

It’s essential for us to understand the way everything operates, the way everything needs to be connected for the system to work. It is like constructing a vehicle, connecting all the parts and the power supply, putting in the gas, the oil, all the necessary fluids, completing the construction, turning on the ignition, and, voila, the car powers on! This is the result we need to reach.
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From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/27/10, The Zohar

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Desire that works with the screen is regarded as “a line,” and without the screen “a circle.” Mutual work between the line and the circles moves the desires (souls).

A circle and a line are two different forms of behavior: A line is an individual behavior, a circle is a collective one. Circles relate to the desires as though the latter don’t have a screen. Hence, they move the desires as if in a magnetic or gravitational field, counting not the degree of correction of the Kli (vessel) itself, but the force acting in this part of the field. Therefore, circles can affect and move the desires that don’t have a screen.

Conversely, a “line” is the desires that have undergone the First Restriction (Tzimtzum Aleph); they characterize a person who has an anti-egoistic screen. And if I don’t have a screen, I am not affected by the line since I am not related to it, I don’t have any common attributes with it.

Therefore, at present we are tossed from one place to another solely by the force of the circles, which is regarded as the “environment” (Sviva). The system of relations between our souls is subordinate to these laws.

Inside the system, there are acting circles, the “circles of Tzimtzum Aleph” with the center in the points of Malchut. There are also the “circles of Tzimtzum Bet (the Second Restriction),” with the center in the points of Bina, where the desires to receive end and the desires to bestow begin.

Every part of the desire, every tiniest detail that contains both types of the desire, which belong to the Tzimtzum Aleph or Tzimtzum Bet, is affected by the circles of Tzimtzum Aleph and Tzimtzum Bet. Suppose, I have the desires that I can discern already and also those that don’t get discerned until the end of correction (Gmar Tikkun). Accordingly, they will be affected by one field and unaffected by the other.

In other words, we exist in both of these fields, the field of Tzimtzum Aleph and Tzimtzum Bet, that surround us. This common field contains all memory, the entire program, the Purpose and Thought of Creation, and all our states of existence till Gmar Tikkun. And we have to only harmonize ourselves with this field.

But how do I accomplish this if I don’t feel this field? This is the Surrounding Light, but I cannot establish a connection with the Light. Hence, I make a connection with the desire, with friends, with some part of the integral system, and I try to become similar to it according to the laws contained in the Light to the best of my ability.

Thereby, I receive greater impact of the Light. I become more sensitive to it, and, as a result, it affects me stronger. The Light itself doesn’t get stronger; it is stable. But I must sharpen my perceptions in order to feel greater effect of this field of Light. And this is how I will move in it!

The more sensitive I am to the Light, the faster I will swim in this force field, gravitating from the periphery to the center. In the center of the field, there can be simultaneously enormous darkness and huge force impact. However, due to this contrast, I arrive to the “straight” action “in the  line” sooner. In this manner, by moving “within the circles,” I reach the “line” and acquire an anti-egoistic screen.
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From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/1/10, Beit Shaar HaKavanot

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The time has come to return to a natural system, to a close cohesion that Nature, the degree of Bina, demands of us. We have to bring ourselves to the equivalence, homeostasis, and similarity of properties and from total brokenness ascend to a level where we will be completely connected as parts of one healthy body.

All forces that affect us do so for a single purpose: to push us to a natural form of reciprocity and love. However, if our egoism has grown while we haven’t yet found the correct interconnection among us, then the discrepancy between the states, the difference between the demanded unification and factual separation, is experienced as suffering.

This is why life is becoming harder. The supplementary systems designated to soften the predicament or scare us can no longer help us since we have entered the final stage of evolution and must assemble ourselves into one integrated global system.

Today, humanity is discovering that we are all connected with unbreakable ties, and that is why it simply must realize the law of nature within itself, the law of correct interaction of all parts of creation.
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From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/10, “Explanation of the Article, Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah”

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Our natural characteristic is self-love: an egoistic force of hate and rejection. This is how we initially perceive ourselves. On the other hand, everything in the world is permeated with the force of mutual connection, the force of love and attraction.

Kabbalah speaks of love namely in this sense, absolutely not implying all that we label as “love” in mundane life. Love means that I absorb the desire of another in order to fulfill it to the best of my ability.

This phenomenon takes root in the four phases of the Direct Light. The first phase (Behina Aleph) introduces desire to receive pleasure. The second phase (Behina Bet) is the desire to please, which understands that specifically by receiving it will be able to delight the Creator. This stage is regarded as Bina or Elokim. All creation resulted from it.

Further on, the third phase (Behina Gimel) appears, which receives pleasure for the sake of bestowal, followed by the fourth phase (Behina Dalet), Malchut, which is pure reception.

Now, at the phase of Malchut, we must become similar to Bina, pure bestowal. By unifying two major desires, to receive and to bestow, we form the desire to receive in order to bestow. Thus, when speaking of love, we imply the force of Bina that desires to receive all the great Light from Above in order to pass it down, without keeping anything for ourselves. This is what we must attain by way of correction.

As a result, the entire system is divided into two parts: One is before and above me, and the other is behind and below me. I receive everything from Above from the Creator and pass it down to others. In the same fashion, cells behave while serving the body.

What does an individual cell have? Nothing. It only receives and passes on to the others, and all of them are connected by the ties of love. What then is hidden in this collective bestowal? Interconnection of parts creates a unique spirit, a special field, which is life itself.

Neither a cell nor an organ feels alive individually. But the correct connection permeated by mutual bestowal begets the sensation of life in them. They generate life not in each of them separately, but namely in mutual connection. The key is not in them; they simply carry out a condition, meaning create equivalence of properties, and then the Light, the Creator, clothes in their connection. This is what life of the created being is.

Mutual connection between us creates a place for the Light. In other words, it is the Kli (vessel) in which we experience life to the extent of our connection. The created being lives in the measure of its similarity to the Creator, the cosmic force of love and oneness that rules in the Universe.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/10, “Klalut Adam”

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Question: How do we reach the proper connection for the Light to be revealed between us?

Answer: Imagine that there are two windows before us, like on a computer screen. In one of them we see a system where we are perfectly connected with one another. It is called the “World of Infinity.” In the other window we see the system that is now before us, where hatred governs instead of love. This system is called “this world.”

These are two different systems. The World of Infinity lives and exists; it is called the first (Aleph) and the third (Gimel) states of reality. This is the only state created by the Creator, in which He exists.

All other states, from the World of Infinity to our world, the 125 degrees of connection between us (125 states), are for us to use to gradually ascend. All the states except for Infinity are called “worlds,” meaning concealment, hiding. The same World of Infinity, but a more concealed one, vaguer, and not fully recognizable is called the World of Atzilut. An even foggier one is the World of Beria, and so on.

Every world is similar to the world above and below it in every part and detail. The only difference is the degree of revelation of the Light in it. The less Light, the darker it is. It is similar to when we see things well during the day and everything is clear, but at night it is dark, yet there is little difference between darkness and light.

In other words, we exist in that same state, referred to as the “World of Infinity,” only 125 degrees of concealment are blocking it from us. And because the concealment is so large on the last degree, where we exist in our world, we are considered completely separated from spirituality. We do not even have the slightest sensation that there are states and degrees between us and the World of Infinity, as if we only exist here, and there is nothing else.

We exist in this world, in our “window” on our “screen,” but there is another “window” on the same “screen,” the World of Infinity. For this reason, when we try to treat each other properly, like in the World of Infinity, as if we already were there (even though we are not yet capable of it), by doing so we make ourselves similar to the World of Infinity, we as if desire to reach it.

When we aspire to it like infants who want to become adults, we evoke the Surrounding Light (Ohr Makif) from the same World of Infinity. This Light is the Light that Reforms and brings us closer to the World of Infinity.

The same principle works everywhere: When I aspire to attain a source of energy, I evoke a large influence through my aspiration to come near it. These are precise laws of physics operating here, there is nothing imaginary or mystical here.
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From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/10, The Zohar

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