Question: What is bestowal upon a friend?

Answer: Bestowal to a friend is to do what he wants. If we are friends and get together in a group in order to achieve the goal, I have to help him in everything possible so that he can achieve it.

He may lack some essential material things, and then I must first of all take care of this. But once he receives the basic necessities, I should help him reach the goal, to achieve it.

He needs me to give him strength, a push forward, inspiration, to go together with him. This is called to help a friend, as it is said: “Each one shall help his neighbor.” So, I tell him what a great goal is ahead of us, that we are together, and together we will reach the goal. I show him how I love him, believe in him, and need him on this path. I awaken him, and through him, I also obtain strength.

Otherwise, we will not reach the goal; one cannot do this. A minimum of ten people is needed.

This is called bestowal to the friends. What else can you give them? If a friend doesn’t have bread, then you will give him half of yours. But everything else, except the basic necessities that you can give, it is only strength along the path, inspiration, and the greatness of the goal. You need to be a real psychologist next to him; thus we work with each other.
[86528]
From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/26/12, The Study of the Ten Sefirot 

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We must include all of creation inside us because it is one whole. The still, vegetative, and animate nature and all the humans on earth, all those who lived in the past, the Kabbalists who paved this path for us and who have already fulfilled their correction within the general desire, all this should turn into one whole.

Today we are in a very special situation as the world is demanding this, and so we have been given this special opportunity.

We already know that the Light is the only pre-existing force in the world. The Light created our general desire and can do whatever is necessary with it in order to bring it to the goal.

This immense desire includes billions of stars and other things that fill our universe and everything that is on the face of the earth, the special particle of the universe in which we exist, the unique creatures, and among them even more unique ones, you, those who were given the desire to discover this whole system, this whole greatness, and to rise even higher. It is you who were given the opportunity of freewill.

The Light creates everything; it gives birth and changes things. Everything stems from the Light. All the descents and ascents, everything that we experience, and everything that was and will be is all created by the Light. So, as our teachers tell us, our freewill is to study how to manage with the help of this Light. The Light itself wants it and is ready to fulfill our desires if they are aimed in the right direction.

Thus, of all the options we have, we have to choose only one correct direction. In order for this direction to be true, we were given different conditions that on the whole make up “this world,” a special state in which we can prepare for that, in order to continue changing all of creation with the help of the Light.

A prayer is needed here, a request. It can be a plea of gratitude, a demand, a request, an expression of fear, of respect or of joy; It is important that this plea be correct.

In order for it to be correct, we were given a group: many people who gather together. Why? Because a prayer should be whole, complete, which means to stem from all the different possible feelings, from different relations and attitudes towards the Light, from different states: descents, ascents, detachment, indifference, and an emotional attitude.

It is different for every individual and we all add our states to one another in order to get a whole prayer. Some of the people are above in their feelings and some are below. Some cry, others laugh, and some are indifferent. The prayers can be quite different, of different types, on different levels, and from different people: for themselves, for society, for family, for friends, for the Creator.

But when people yearn to advance, their prayers connect into one whole and then even the requests a person expresses childishly, egoistically, without any understanding also operate. A person cannot perceive himself fully yet: what his request means, for what, for whom, and for what purpose—if he begins to say phrases he learned by heart, it will not be his own plea, but if he speaks from his heart, even if it is an egoistic prayer, but he has suffered until he expresses it, it will work.

So we have to pay attention to our general collective desire that is called a “prayer of many.” It is this prayer that collects all the options and forms of our feelings and attitudes; each of us can be in different states. When everyone comes together, our states connect. We also have to think about nature and all of humanity, and then everything really accumulates inside and concentrates within our group. It is the center of the group that makes the point where all our desires and yearning come together. This point is where the contact with the Creator occurs. From it, everything spreads back to our collective group and then to all of humanity and then to all of nature.

If we thus try to collect all our yearnings for the Creator we receive the right answer from Him.

Yesterday we tried it ourselves and I want to read to you some of these pleas:

• “Let me feel the fear of a lack of desire to connect in order to feel You.”
• “Give us the power to reveal the lack of desire to unite for Your sake, that this becomes our greatest sorrow, our desire.”

We said that it is very hard to reach such a desire because it summons suffering, and we escape suffering and automatically, immediately extinguish them.

• “Give us a desire to connect that is so intense that it will be the same for all.”

Which means that the desire to connect will include everyone.

There are prayers for our construction, our connection, and our yearning. These are preliminary requests, and only then comes the request from the true desire, the one that stabilizes us and directs us towards the Light, so that it can correct us, so that it will reveal itself among us.

• “Connect us into one whole, so that Your Light will bring everyone to connection and unity through the Light.”
• “Please help us keep the right intention that behind everything there is the Creator.”
• “Teach us to pray so that we can see You in others.”
• “Accept the prayer of my friends and give me the power to pray for them.”
• “Give us a desire in which we will discover Your love.”
• “Help us be worthy of discovering You.”
• “Give us the strength to act as if we already love one another.”
• “Give me the strength to understand who I am, so that my life will be turned into a relationship with You.”
• “Allow me to pray for the friends. Everything else we can do.”

These are our prayers.
[86380]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 5

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Question: We have women’s meetings in the group but sometimes it seems that the women are dealing more with questions of their own. The men say openly that they don’t feel a necessity and a need from us. We tried to have meetings together, but they weren’t really successful. On what basis should we gather with the men’s group? How should it be carried out?

Answer: You should gather mainly in order to discuss general matters, like in a family: What should we do with our center, with our lessons, with the kids, etc. We have to discuss that. There have to be joint meetings.

Everything else is internal work. It should be separate for men and for women. Women need to create within themselves a vector, a direction for their aspiration through the men to the Creator. That’s the best way.

Then women will begin to see how the men are changing and are becoming more serious. You have to treat them both as those who are leading and as those who are being led. Just like our kids: On the one hand, they are younger than us, but they draw us forward. It is the same here. The women’s group grows to the extent of its assistance to the men, and through the men, they receive the Light, or to be more accurate, they receive the Light in the connection between the two groups. All the work is generally done internally.
[86360]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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We live in a single reality even though we give it the name “different worlds”, thinking that they exist separately from one another, in different places, as if there are places that are called: “this world,” “the world to come,” the worlds of Assyia, Yetzira, Beria, Atzilut, the Garden of Eden, or Hell. It seems to us that the system of the worlds is structured like our universe with many galaxies in different places, distant or close to one another

The spiritual space is called “place,” but a place is a desire to receive pleasure. It changes according to the acquired properties: closer or further from bestowal. However, a desire is the same desire that changes and as a result calls its states the worlds, different places. It is like a person who goes from state to a state can say that he moves from one place to another.

From the very beginning we are given the state that is called “this world.” In this state, in this reality, we have to connect with others who also want to change this reality, meaning to advance their perception. As soon as we change our desires we will feel as though we are moving into different places: directly flying from one space to another inside of our desires, sensations.

Besides this, in reality there are no other changes. Only with the help of the group and the Reforming Light—the Wisdom of Kabbalah, the method of correction—can we correct our perception and sensations without leaving the place where we exist. It means that in the very same desires that will be corrected, we will feel differently, as if in a different world.
[86444]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/24/12

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Question: Actions that are intended to unite us are dictated by the fact that we enjoy them. This kind of delight is bigger than the one we get from any other activity. Does it mean that we are like robots that have only a plus or a minus?

Answer: It doesn’t matter. By no means should we refuse pleasures! Kabbalah prohibits it. A person who deliberately refuses pleasure is called “Nazir,” meaning someone who engages in self-restriction. Someone who chooses this goes against the plan of nature since the goal of nature is to bring us to absolute delight.

By transcending the framework of our egoism, by desiring to rise above it, against it, we open tremendous opportunities to receive pleasure. Our egoism restricts the ability to receive delight. How much can you eat or drink? How long can you dance? Everything has its limitations.

By ascending above the egoistic field into the external one, we reveal the world of Infinity. What does the world of Infinity mean? It’s a desire that is not limited by anything at all. It’s exactly what we should discover.

Why is the science that we study called Kabbalah? It teaches us how to reach maximum unlimited eternal delight and how to attain a sensation of everlasting existence within all coordinates and directions. So, when we study and stay with the group, we by no means should pursue self-restriction. Not at all!

One should only think of how to connect with others. At the same time, if you want to eat ten dinners or thrill yourself any other way, please do so. Nobody prohibits you from indulging into pleasures. What really matters is where your head is. That’s the most important thing.

There are ascetics who limit themselves as dieting women, sometimes even worse than that. So what? They don’t “kill” themselves by acting so, but rather feel even bigger pride and self-importance: “See, how good I am!”
[85840]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/16/12, Preliminary Lesson

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I’ve heard from the women that they deliberate about: “How we can put pressure on the men.” And I think that the women should not push, but help, not with words, but with their desire, even with menacing silence.

In general, a strong women’s group is the key to success. It stabilizes the men’s group. Like a wife and a home stabilize a man, and he will not run away, knowing how he has to go through life. It is a good “weight” on his feet: It is useful, it is required, it is necessary.

This addition is very effective in all cases. We have no idea how much a Kabbalist needs it. That is why I advise single men to quickly resolve this issue. It does not disturb women if they are not married, although if it is possible…but for men, it is a duty.

I say this in all seriousness. It is desirable; it is very desirable for those who want to advance to start a family. This stabilizes a man; this helps him. Yes, he gets an extra load, but this load is necessary. It is one of those burdens that you take upon yourself to move forward due to them. So, take this seriously.

Now, here are a few words about the interaction between the men and women’s groups. The women’s group helps; the women’s group performs the same actions along with the men. It can participate in almost all the events in such a way so as not to interfere with the men and not disturb them. So, it is better not to mix in the same room and coming together in circles; we are not interested what is going on behind our backs.

Women’s groups should be feminine. In the women’s group, besides the usual questions, specific questions should be raised: “How can we help our men so that they feel more responsibility in connection with each other?”

I remember my wife’s words; she told me about it, and I was amazed: Where did she get it from! I did not have this idea at the moment. I told her about the current problems, and she said: “You have to connect with each other with a new strength.” I had not come to this decision, and then I heard a voice from above. This comes from the Creator precisely through the women’s part, and therefore, it is really worth listening to women.

It is important to build a relationship with the world and the correct communication between men’s and women’s parts in each group: the family, the women’s group, the men’s group, and humanity.
[86364]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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Question: What is the prayer of many? Is it when we have one need or when I don’t have a single thought about myself, but only the desire of the group, of the world?

Answer: The prayer of many is when you can unite all the desires of all creatures in your request to raise them to the Creator, to give Him an opportunity to be revealed because this is His joy.

Question: How can I achieve this?

Answer: You are trying to sense them, to get out of yourself, and to begin to feel them, thus you inject their desires into yourself. In fact, you don’t need to cover the whole world and feel absolutely everyone. That will come later because you will perceive this single desire in this way. The Light will affect you and show you all this, evoking your feelings. But until then, you make such attempts as much as you can.

This is a time-consuming work because the process of preparation is the longest, most difficult period since we are operating in the dark. But then, each degree will have its own specific entrances and exits, internal process, analysis and synthesis of all that I do, manifest, and feel from others.

This inclusion of all desires into myself is what is called bestowal: when I start to feel the desires of others as my own. The desires mean aspirations for the Creator. And if there are none, it does not matter. When I start to connect with other people, first in the group, I begin to feel within the group that they strive for the Creator, even if they do not understand and do not know. I start to see and feel this desire everywhere: in people, animals, and plants. After all, the desire for life is also the yearning for the Creator, for the Light.
[86437]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 5

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Question: Is my work only to ask the Creator to change my attitude when I feel bad? What if I don’t feel that everything comes from the Creator?

Answer: Indeed while a person is only starting and does not perceive, see, or any inner feeling, then it is difficult. He has just started on the path and is far from his goal, from the city, and he does not see it.

But in order to take the right direction towards this city, he must imagine that he goes in the direction of the city. In any condition, from the start, he should try to imagine the city lights ahead. We are given a group, books, and all kinds of tools for that until the work becomes clearer, and he will see more and more signs of his progress.

He will begin to distinguish between them because his desire will become more clarified, precise. He will accumulate experience: various impressions, signs from which the picture will begin to emerge.

But while he does not have that, he needs to work with what he has, and most importantly the work in the group. If I don’t see the Creator, the city, or the light in front of me, and I am in total darkness, in the middle of a dark field, not knowing where to go, then I imagine the group, its center. This center becomes the Creator for me, the goal on which I focus.

If I give myself to the group, this means that I give myself to the Creator, from the center of the group directly to him. I use all the forces available in the group to be together with them in adhesion, in unity, in bestowal to the group, and thus direct myself at the Creator. He has not been revealed yet, and I have to work with the group in this form.
[86450]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/24/12, Writings of Rabash 

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Question: Lately you have been directing the men not only to work in the group, but also to work with their wives. Is there a difference from the spiritual viewpoint between a man’s work with a man, a man with a woman, the male part with the female part, or my work with the external world?

Answer: In the meantime yes. All of them are on different levels and I exist in different relationships with them. Nevertheless, we begin from the corporeal, mutual relationships. We are still not disconnected from each other so that I would see only the soul in you. You are a woman. You constitute a part of some group. You have a name of your own, your problems, and your activities. This means that one has to take into account, all that surrounds you. It is also the same thing with the friends.

We exist in a certain framework; we can’t hover in the clouds and detach ourselves from the external sheath. Thus it imposes on us certain commitments. This outer sheath speaks about our special and exact things: man and woman. This is a very strict division in nature according to all the natural functions and we must take this into consideration.

Question: This is about the corporeal world. But from the viewpoint of spirituality, there is only reception and bestowal. Is there a difference in the relation to reception and bestowal? With whom do I participate in a mutual way: with a man, with a woman, or with the external world?

Answer: It depends on what level you are on. If you are already above the level of Hafetz Hesed, that is, bestowal for the sake of bestowal, above the attribute of Bina, then there’s no difference. And until that level, there is a difference.
[86270]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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We know that when we get inspiration by the study, the group, or by certain actions that we perform, meaning when we are influenced by the environment, we immediately change our values and according to this awakening are ready to advance in “faith above reason” and to work in bestowal and love.

When this awakening fades, we return to our ordinary values. The question is what can you do when you descend to the ordinary corporeal values? After all, you still remember how you were impressed previously by the upper values since you were under the influence of the environment and you were several levels higher than you are now. Why were you given this state?

You were not lowered so that you would simply try to return to the state you were in previously, but so that in the current lower state you can appreciate the upper values that impressed you before. You should want to live according to the values that were attained under the influence of the group even when the upper state disappears and does not illuminate on you anymore.

Although the illumination disappears from our corporeal recognition, you can renew it and keep the same upper values by your exertion, by spurring yourself. This is all our work.

This is called keeping the covenant. Although a person is not in the state of ascent he was before, he is still adhered to the same upper values.

It is as if you were raised to a certain level and then brought down again, and now you have to return to the same level by yourself. Then you are brought up again to an even higher level and brought down again and rise by yourself. Although the Light doesn’t illuminate on you anymore, you want to keep all the conditions of that level in “faith above reason.” You want to keep the same dedication for the group and the Creator, although you don’t get any support from them now. This is how you can advance.

This means that you are keeping the conditions of the covenant. Even if you signed this covenant when you were overflowing with evident feelings of love and were greatly impressed, now this attitude is not revealed, but you find the powers inside you to keep the covenant in the current conditions, just like it was before.

Thus a person advances. First he is given an example and the next time he has to perform by himself the same action he was shown. This is what happens time after time. The state a person attains by making efforts to find the powers to rise to the same values in “faith above reason” is called “a day” for him.
[86201]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/21/12, Writings of Rabash

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