Baal HaSulam, “Thou Hast Hemmed Me In Behind and Before“: Thou hast hemmed me in behind and before, meaning the revelation and concealment of the face of the Creator, for indeed “His kingdom ruleth over all,” and everything will return to its root because there is no place vacant of him. But the difference is in present tense or future tense, because he who connects the two worlds, discovers in the present His clothing: that everything that is done is a clothing for the revelation of divinity.

All events, from the beginning to the end, are sent by You and are aimed solely to open my eyes and bring me back to the Source. And there is no place where You don’t rule so that I may say that I acted on my own or someone else stood for or against me.

Everything is permeated by the Light of Infinity, the Creator; therefore, there is no act, thought, or step that would not be completely controlled by Him. And all of it has only one purpose: to get us to attain Him so that we come closer to Him, know Him, cling to Him, and accept His governance.

We need to become like Him and walk with Him further, agreeing with all His actions and copying all His moves to such an extent that we would be able to predict what He is going to do and wish to do it before He does. It turns out that it is my desire to make it so, and He is the one who does it after me!

A person reaches such subtle understanding and perception of all this system that is being revealed to him that he completely unifies with the Creator. I anticipate what the Creator wishes me to do, and like a small child who pulls the grownup by the hand, so do I move the creature toward perfection.

Clearly, in this case we annul time. There is no more past, present, or future, and we ascend to the state where everything takes place at once and simultaneously. The future gives way to the present.

And this is deemed present tense, meaning that now too he comes out in royal clothes [also in Malchut’s clothing] and evidently shows that the rider is not subordinate to the horse. But although it seemingly appears that the horse leads the rider, the truth is that the horse is provoked to any movement, only by the sensation of the bridle and headstall of the rider. And that is called the construction of the stature of divinity, and it is also called face-to-face.
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From Lesson 7, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/11/10

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Spiritual fulfillment cannot be obtained directly, like a young child grabbing at a toy. In this form we only obtain life in our world.

At this very moment all of us are present in the World of Infinity (an unbounded reality), but because our method of existence is based on “grabbing,” that is, receiving and fulfilling ourselves egoistically, all we are able to receive from the infinite world is a tiny spark of the Light called “a thin candle” (Ner Dakik), which is limited to sensations of this world. We are incapable of perceiving more while receiving egoistically.

Egoistic fulfillment available to us in this world bears the shape of a faint illumination. It is intentionally given to us so that from this moment on, from this degree and further, we begin to develop using a different method: receiving into the vessel outside of ourselves and thus becoming a willing participant, similar, suitable, and equal to the Creator!

Only a tiny part of the vessel (desire) that we sense as “this world” is being filled. To directly receive more than this is impossible! The rest of our desires can only be filled through our similarity with the Creator, through our having the intention “in order to bestow.”

This is why the Creator separated our sensations into two parts: this world and the Upper world, placing a barrier between them called “Machsom.” This barrier (Machsom) has a psychological origin since while being underneath it (in this world), we are only capable of receiving internally, for our own sake. We would get much more, but it seems to us as if “other people” are strangers or outsiders.

We could have all of this under the condition that we overcome this psychological problem of perception, which makes everything seem “foreign” to us. We have to start considering everything there is to be “our own,” get closer to it, and begin sensing that things outside us are in fact our own. In return, we will receive all the worlds: Assiya, Yetzira, Beria, Atzilut, Adam Kadmon and at the end, the World of Infinity.

The biggest problem is to start perceiving those desires that seem “not our own” as “our own.” Afterward, whatever we receive into them will comprise our spiritual world.

For that, all we have to do is to attract the Upper Light that will show us our connectedness and demonstrate that all of us constitute one body. Then, the Upper Light will work as an eye-opener, and eventually we will perceive spirituality.

We will arrive at the clarification, and there won’t be any resistance left in us since we will see everything around as our own parts that belong to us as organs of one body. We never existed apart! It only appears to us that we are split, but, in fact, only our bodies are detached.

If we look deeper, we’ll see a system of our interconnectedness. Everything is done by the Upper Light!
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From Lesson 7, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/11/10

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Question: On the second day of the Convention, I started to feel that all people, all “points,” as though, are within me, and feeling them as part of me, I could truly love them as myself. Is it correct to perceive the entire group within myself?

Answer: It is precisely how we start to form the place where later the property of bestowal called the Creator becomes revealed.

Question: I witnessed how during the Convention, people completely devoted themselves to work. Do we really need such external actions? Perhaps they actually distract us from the goal? After all, aren’t they just vaguely related to the truth?

Answer: Possibly, we need to distribute duties more evenly, but there is no doubt that we have to fully care for and perform all these duties ourselves.

Question: Suppose, we start hating the friends. How do we distinguish between this, let’s call it “divine” hatred that obstructs the connection of the broken vessels and simple hatred caused by nasty character or mental disability?

Answer: If, in order to reveal the Creator, a person exerted efforts in connecting with the friends, then a strong common effort exposes hatred toward the obligation to unite. The Zohar talks about it as well. But if a person did not exert effort in trying to unite, he will not feel true hatred.
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Excerpts from people’s letters sharing their impressions of the last convention::

“I am writing to you because this time I cannot help it! THIS CONGRESS IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, AND POWERFUL, EYE OPENING, AND HOPE-FILLED EVENT of my entire long life in Kabbalah! It made my endless suffering worthwhile.

All previous congresses were also meaningful to me: One was heartwarming, another significant, and so forth. But this time I felt, even if by way of the body, what you tell us about: THE COLLECTIVE HEART BEAT, TEARS, AND DESIRE, not always consciously recognized, THE SENSATION OF HIS PRESENCE, namely BETWEEN US….

Never and nowhere have I felt that all of us are together and connected by something that can be felt, and here I did feel it! I knew, unable to comprehend this fact, that those surrounding me are me….

It is impossible to properly relate in words, but you suddenly, after these feelings, explained from the stage at the last lesson, all that I felt and lived precisely, like a psychic! And how does he know everything about me so well, to the smallest details?

Now I clearly understand that the value of this convention is not only in what we felt there, but in the anticipation and yearning, in people’s ability to see that all the others around them wish the same! It is one enormous, common desire in the eyes and hearts of all. Faces glowed; the audience cried; some felt something, some didn’t yet, but it is a very powerful spiritual phenomenon. People will keep living on the emotions of this great convention.

Nothing has ended in that pavilion. I would give anything for what I experienced there! Great love filled the hall and all the hearts, and it doesn’t matter that someone didn’t feel what the others did; it is already within us….”

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Each convention is the connection of a multitude of people: beginners and advanced students, all very different by nature. However, all of them are unified by one goal: to reveal the meaning of life, to find the place we have to reach, the place worth living for instead of wasting our life away.

The wisdom of Kabbalah is intended to lead us to the most meaningful and central point: the revelation of the Creator to the created beings. To reveal the Creator means to reach His level and status here, in the corporeal world, in this life.

To accomplish this we need great power which none of us possess; it can only be found in the connection between us. The Creator did this on purpose because in order to attain Him, I must acquire His nature. To be closer to Him means to obtain more and more of His attributes. I do not approach Him physically, but in the soul where I get to know Him better in my new properties which are identical to His.

How do I obtain these attributes? I am told that they are opposite to my nature. Yet, I don’t know what “opposite” means. I might be able to understand what “white” is compared to “black.” But what does “opposite” mean if I am only submerged in one nature, my own?

The Creator divided the entire reality into two parts: me and what exists outside of me. I either hate or love whatever I see on the outside depending on whether or not I can use it for my own personal benefit.

At the Convention I was given an opportunity to connect with a multitude of people that are on the outside. If I begin to perceive them as part of me, understand that we have united and are aiming towards one goal, then by forming, creating this unity, we are literally constructing a property similar to the Creator’s. It is called the corrected spiritual vessel.

We will start to unite, and the connection between us which used to be rejection, hate, disdain, envy, and the need to control each other will turn into love and unification. We achieve this unity not inside you or me but between us! This unity becomes the Kli (vessel) where we will be able to experience the Creator: you and me, the two of us together!

In this Kli, we will experience our spiritual life. It is similar to the blood that flows between the cells and organs of our body, carrying oxygen, life, to them. After all, our body lives because of this circulation, the bond that ties all of its parts together. Every organ bestows to the others and functions for the benefit of the whole system and not itself. This is how our body is designed on the corporeal plane.

This is exactly the kind of bond we have to attain at the “human” level of existence, and we must do it consciously and willingly.
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From Lesson 7, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/11/10

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Question: After the Convention, I felt blocked; I couldn’t unify with the others and advance. Is this how the Creator’s revelation gets manifested, and is this evil His reverse side?

Answer: Yes, Pharaoh is the reverse side of the Creator, which is regarded as a “help against him.” This is His way to help you, and we mustn’t forget that.

When you feel drowsy, depressed, and immovable, you have to remember that all unfolding problems are purposeful and are designed to propel you toward the goal. You only need to grit your teeth and go against them. It is the Creator who trips you. It is written, “Come unto Pharaoh for I have hardened his heart.”

He, Himself, hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and, with each plague, the Creator will make him more resentful. You come to Pharaoh like Moses holding onto the Creator’s hand and watch from aside how they argue. What can you do when these two giants clash, the good and the evil, while you are in the middle between the two forces of nature, the left and the right lines?

Yet, at the end of each plague, Pharaoh yields and agrees to release you from bondage (exile) to freedom. That is, the path into the spiritual world is now open for you. You wish to leave and witness how Pharaoh claims power over you again, with ever greater resistance to let you go, and loads you with heavier work and difficulties.

At this point, we forget how this process develops. It isn’t worth fighting with our Pharaoh and arguing with the friends. Turn to the Creator. After all, He admits that it was He who hardened Pharaoh’s heart. He initially created egoism and the Torah as a spice, a means for its correction. If you wish to have it corrected, turn to the Creator, and He will give you a weapon to fight this battle.

Until you defeat your Pharaoh, you won’t exit your Egypt, and this is exactly what many groups forget when they start arguing and bargaining among themselves. This Pharaoh cuts in between us so that we rise above the egoism unfolding in our relationships with each other.

In the beginning, when a group is being formed, everything is so wonderful in it that you simply marvel at it as when we watch a newborn. However, then the baby starts growing and shows willfulness.

Yet, we have to understand that it is all correct. This is how our nature gets revealed, and huge problems will come along with hard hits. This is precisely what is regarded as revealing the Pharaoh.

However, the stronger we unify to stand against it, against our collective egoism, the greater our success will be. In this, we must call in all the means that we have: the Creator, the other groups, and the studies. This is the only way for us to advance.

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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/19/10, “The Freedom”

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Excerpts from people’s letters sharing their impressions of the Convention:

“In our life, there are two states of existence totally isolated from each other: One is the state of the convention, which begins exactly at the moment when the previous convention ends and is its continuation. The other is everything else that happens in life.

This sensation has been registered for a while, but only now everybody started talking about it, and there is a necessity to do something about it. The state of the convention is a gift we receive from Above, so should we, by exerting our own effort, transfer this state onto the other part of our life?

In order for it to stop being two isolated conditions, but to allow the intensity of the inner life we experience during the gathering to manifest during the time between the conventions, we need to work on our own, as homework, instead of later falling into self-pity….”

“Now, there is a mess in my head; it is frightening to return to daily life, where instead of material simplicity and spiritual fulfillment, everything suddenly becomes broken into multiple small but aggressive material problems, which deafen the internality. The best thing to do after the convention is to start preparing for the next one. How do you envision our further development in general?”
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Question: I feel that we managed to create a new Kli (vessel) at the convention. But soon I will return to my usual egoistic world and will once again be in contact with people who are not on the spiritual path…

Answer: A person cannot advance without creating his own circle. Everyone needs a group – whether virtual or physical – but it has to be an environment that has a stronger influence on him than the external, egoistic society.

He should form an environment that will determine his thoughts, desires, and values. Otherwise he will be lost because he will follow the general egoistic environment. This is our only choice, and if we do not make it, we will be unable to advance.

So now I am coming back home after the convention. Where are my thoughts now? What’s troubling me? I’m afraid of the moment I run away from a connection with the spiritual environment and delve into the material one.

Will I prevent this “click,” after which all my thoughts and desires will be on the other side, in the common swamp? How can I not miss the quick moment of transition?

This is what I should worry about. This has been our mistake that cost us so many years and efforts. The rest is not a problem; the only problem is that I come home and calm down: “Great, the convention is over, now I can get back to normal life.” And then that’s it: Everything you had became Klipot (impure shells).

The only action that depends on me is to attach myself to a spiritual environment, stick to the group so that it is always close and influences me stronger than the material environment. Just like a child, when scared, stays close to his parent hoping that this will save him from all the trouble. Holding on to his parent, he’s sure that now everything will be okay. This is how we should cling to a spiritual environment.

When you leave, don’t avert your eyes from the group, listen to it as if you’ve still got the headphones on, and remind yourself of spirituality with our songs. It doesn’t matter where we are and what we do: There always has to be something dear in the background, something you received from the group. A faint sound of the lesson coming from a minimized window still gets into the unconscious.

And please be sure to visit my blog. I say the most important things there. Even the photos that are posted there I choose with great care. Make sure to read it daily because the following day the materials lose their strength. We’re all uniting around the blog and the morning lesson.

We’re not asked to produce more than the effort. This is what choosing a better environment is. And the Light does its job. Everyone should take care to connect to a strong spiritual environment in order to keep the spirit that you’re taking with you when leaving the convention.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/12/10, Shamati #26

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At the Convention we acquired a new sensation, and we now have to develop it. We feel that there is a wall before us and we have to break it with the help of the Upper Light, the Creator. He is precisely what we lack. Let Him say, “Let us go to the Pharaoh.”

To do this it is necessary to understand, and most importantly to agree that we are breaking the wall in order to give pleasure to Him instead of ourselves. We forget about the two most important aspects of the path:

1. The only way to advance forward is by means of His force.
2. We are advancing towards bestowal to the Creator.

All of this eludes me. For now I am thinking about myself instead of bestowal to the Creator. I try to break through the Machsom with my own forces rather than His. This way, the goal and the means are still locked inside my egoism.

Nevertheless, this is a good state because we start to understand the fundamental principles of spiritual advancement. A boundary emerged before us and we have to do something about it. It does not exist by itself, but constitutes a psychological barrier inside us. If we aim ourselves correctly, it will disappear.

The thought about the Creator’s benefit is opposite to my nature, and the friends also don’t have it. It lies precisely inside our unity. That is why we have to work on three aspects:

1. I am united with the group.
2. Together with the friends I have to define the right aspiration, which will enable us to break through the Machsom: By uniting, we elicit the force of the Creator.
3. All of this is in order to give Him pleasure or in other words, to attain unity with Him.

The common, unceasing care and worry must awaken everyone. This is the mutual guarantee; the group is not the faces of the friends, but the spiritual community which permeates every person with thoughts about the goal. We suddenly start to think about this and to desire it. When every person tries to build his desire into a line, then it expands across the whole world in circles, unbounded by any boundaries or distances.

Mutual guarantee means that I am responsible for the entire system in which the Creator has placed me. If I don’t hold on to the right thought, then at that moment everyone is thrown out of the right thought. By disconnecting, I stop providing for the common organism. Can the liver or kidneys go on vacation?

That is why I ask the world group to always think about the goal of creation, about bestowal to the Creator. Then I won’t lose the connection no matter where I am.
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From the lesson on 11/20/10

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Question: I am in a descent ever since the Convention has ended. I’m afraid that I have lost the desire for bestowal. I work in the group, but do not feel that this helps, and maybe it even interferes. I am thinking about leaving just in order to reveal the desire again. Is this correct?

Answer: What desire will you reveal if you leave? The desire to go to a bar or a football game? We receive the need for spirituality only from the environment. By leaving it you will go in the exactly opposite direction.

It is written about the revelation of egoism: The sinners will fall where the righteous walk. This is your dilemma: to become righteous or a sinner.

The concealment that came after the Convention revealed a new, powerful, egoistic desire in you, intended for you to work on and correct. However, you want to run away from this work instead of making a new start precisely from the place where you have to.

We always advance from the “opposite” – from the revelation of a new, corrupted part of the desire for pleasure. In this place you must only discern your connection with the goal. In reality this corrupted part does not separate me from the goal at all, but on the contrary, it offers me the opportunity to move forward by pulling it towards correction.

However, in the process I experience bad sensations, darkness, and helplessness. Heaviness and indifference come down on me and all the passionate speeches lose flavor. So what should I do? How can I keep from running away?

That is when habit, obligation, and an established order come to the rescue. My efforts accumulate, penny by penny, until reaching a great sum. No matter what happens, you cannot leave the path.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/21/10, The Zohar

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