The upper one reveals His lower part, Malchut, to us as empty and black; it promises us nothing good.

The spiritual world, the upper world, is specially presented to us in this unattractive way. Yet in this world, perceived within Keter of the lower one, there is at least some pleasure.

I am in a state where even this world holds no attraction for me, yet the state of the upper one seems even worse.

After all, I lack fulfillment in my egoistic desire to receive, and the upper adds even more heaviness to me,by suggesting, “But you wanted to be in a state of bestowal!” I have nothing to eat, and yet I am told: “Go ahead, share with others!”

Therefore, the conditions set by the upper can be accepted only without reason, without any conditions, and not by one’s own strength, but by the strength of the light, without plans and without hope of filling one’s egoism and gaining profit in this world.

The main thing is to attain the state of bestowal, and then you will have everything, but only after you have renounced everything! You will receive fulfillment (satisfaction), not from receiving, but from bestowing.

This is how we should perceive the month of Elul before the beginning of the new year, the beginning of the spiritual path. “ELUL” stands for: “I am to my Beloved, and my Beloved to me.”

The upper one present me with these hopeless conditions that promise no fulfillment, so that precisely through them I will be able to free myself from my egoistic state.

If He had promised me something good, I would never have been able to tear myself out of my egoism, chained as I am to pleasures.

As it is said: “The Creator places a person’s hand upon a good fate,”immerses his life in darkness and emptiness, and on the other hand, reveals a small ray of light to them that shows the person where they can turn to escape from the darkness.

The ray of light is not about egoistic, material gains. The Creator assists me on the spiritual path by bringing me to a Kabbalistic group, the place where I can freely choose the right environment, and by illuminating the way for me; that is, He gives me the sensation that bestowal is the light. Light is rising above one’s egoism when it does not matter to you whether it is empty or filled, but the important thing is with whom you are connected.

The Creator makes it clear: if you are suffering in your corporeal state, do not seek material fulfillment; instead, look upward from that state and consider the possibility of a different life, based on other values, on bestowal, and on another dimension (of happiness).

This means that a ray shines for me through the slits in the wall that separates me from the upper world, a world of tranquility (free from egoism and the endless pursuit of fulfillment) and perfection (found in the aspiration of bestowal and love).
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/6/10, Baal HaSulam, “What Is the Acronym Elul (I am for My Beloved, and My Beloved Is for Me) in the Work?”

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