Question: How can one build a relationship without striving to change the other person? My natural state is to change another to fit me. How do I not do this? This is the root of all battles, all quarrels, everything.

Answer: Just love. That is all.

And again we return to the first question. If we understand that the most important thing in our life is to be next to someone who understands, helps, loves, and values you, we must value this very, very highly, and sacrifice everything for its sake.

Comment: So I practically sacrifice all my “I,” which demands conditions for itself. And I say: “I want to learn to love.”

Answer: Yes, I want to learn to love this person because I want to be with him. That is all. And it is good if he feels the same. Then it is indeed an enormous, mutual, and very unusual feeling.

Question: You are actually speaking now not only about couples, you are speaking about subordinate, and superior, and about states?

Answer: Practically, yes. Above everything, this state must shine—the state of “learning to love.”

Comment: This sounds so warm and beautiful that one wants to come to it!

My Response: This must be cultivated. But unfortunately, such cultivation does not exist. And when we grow old and understand, we no longer have the strength for it. And therefore, approaching the younger generation and trying to pass something on to them does not succeed. They wave us off, and we try, but rapprochement does not happen. “If only youth knew, if only old age could.”

Question: So you believe that everyone must get their bumps and bruises? One way or another, we cannot manage without it?

Answer: This must be demonstrated intensively in all works, in schools. In general, people must be taught this. At all ages. Then the whole society will be filled with this approach so that it would be in the air. And then it will become possible to love.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/20/25

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