Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 57

What Can Be Taken from a Friend?

Nothing can be taken from a friend. We can only be externally inspired by the way they work or think. To be inspired by a friend, we need to observe them without their knowledge and learn from their actions. For example, we can observe how a friend constantly writes during a lesson, while we ourselves do not. We can then ponder why they write, and we might assume that they refer to their notes later at home. In seeking such examples, we should focus only on the positive aspects and overlook the negative ones.

Always judge the friend favorably, noting how much they study and strive. Observe various small details and derive benefit from them. This is called “judging a friend favorably”; it is seeing only the good in them because it is from their goodness that we draw benefit, fuel, and motivation.

Therefore, we are never obligated to act or refrain from acting. It is about every person’s personal correction. The Torah does not prohibit anything; it only offers advice for personal spiritual progress. All prohibitions and advice aim to improve the person. If we do not judge a friend favorably, we cannot harm them in any way, but we also cannot draw help or additional strength from them. In such a case, the loss is entirely our own.

Related Material:
Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 56
Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 55
Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 54

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