Igor writes:
Dear Michael Laitman,
I never thought that this would happen to me! I had a misfortune. My closest friend lured my wife away from me! It is a primitive triangle, but I can no longer breathe and live!
You say: “We must accept the situation.” But how? I now understand what hatred is and what despair is when one gives up and tears flow uncontrollably. I am crying for the second time in my life: the first was at my mother’s grave and the second is now. How can I survive this?
Answer: I do not know what to advise a person in this case. I think that you need to think about others and not about yourself. Was she happy with you? Apparently not so much, and that is why she left.
What could happen now? Suppose you force her back or in some fantasy you make her feel bad so that she comes back to you, throws herself at your feet, cries, and all that. I do not think that would reassure you because the very action when she left for someone else is already irreparable.
The best thing, of course, is to change the environment, get married, and start a new family.
Question: That is, let it go? She was a part of me, my “I,” that is why Igor is suffering, and you say: “Let it go”?
Answer: Yes.
Comment: A part of his “I” was cut off and you say…
My Response: This is generally a huge loss and a very strong defeat, of course. Let her go!
Question: Let her go? Do you even say: “Let her be happy there”? And do you think that at that moment he will begin to feel a relief if he comes to this thought?
Answer: I think so. It is very difficult to change your hatred to some kind of love, that you love the person with whom you were maybe even happy, and everything was good. But she did not feel good, and she exchanged you for someone else.
And you make it so that despite the fact that you were happy with her, you raise yourself here and think: “But if she really did not feel good, and now she feels good, can I be happy because she is happy?” Here you have to answer this for yourself.
That is, you must rise above your egoism, above your jealousy, ambition, above all this, and say: “If she is happy, then I am happy.” Otherwise you will not fix it.
Question: You will eat yourself up as a result. Will you feel much worse?
Answer: Yes. And if you find out that she is happy, and you will feel happy because of this, then you resolved this problem.
Comment: This is beautiful! But how hard this is! How difficult!
My Response: It is very hard in feelings.
[318241]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/16/23
Related Material:
A Wife Doesn’t Find Favor in Her Husband’s Eyes
A Wife Should Not Disregard Her Husband
A Love Triangle: The Husband, The Wife, And The Mother-In-Law
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