Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

The spiritual root of sex is the soul’s unity with the Creator.

In the spiritual world, the soul is united with the Light, and this union is called Zivug—coupling. It constitutes the unification of two parts of creation—male and female, and is the greatest pleasure that can ever be—the soul being filled by the Light of the Creator.

This spiritual coupling also has a branch or copy in the physical world, the world of matter. This is why we are so preoccupied with sex—it is the ultimate pleasure in this world, and the root of all of our desires in this world.

Sex is the basis of all our thoughts, because its root is the soul’s union with the Creator. This union is the final goal of Nature, and everything that happens in the world is determined by the final goal. This is why we just can’t avoid thinking about sex. Our attraction to the opposite sex and to pleasure also come from this final state – the adhesion with the Creator, called “Zivug” (never-ending sexual union).

The pleasure we feel from sex is a perfect example of the difference between physical and spiritual pleasure. We spend so much time and effort thinking about sex, and we imagine that it will give us enormous pleasure, but in fact our pleasure vanishes into thin air the minute we reach the peak of sexual satisfaction. Before we really had time to enjoy this feeling, it is over and we find ourselves once again striving for another moment of pleasure.

This is what happens in our world, because the pleasure that fills the desire immediately neutralizes it. No longer having the desire, we stop feeling pleasure. It leaves us feeling empty, and as life goes on, this emptiness only grows bigger. This is why it is written, “One leaves the world with half his cravings unfulfilled.”

Spiritual pleasure works very differently because being in spirituality means having the ability to receive the Light with the intention of giving pleasure to the Creator, to the One who gives you the Light. Hence, in spirituality, coupling or sex is continuous and eternal, and it only grows stronger all the time. As a result, one feels eternal life and perfect fulfillment that constantly gets bigger. Obviously, this is very different from the pleasure we feel in our world, where we can only feel momentary pleasure followed by emptiness.

This is why it is written that ever since people fell from the spiritual world into our world, only those who attain the spiritual world still feel the real taste of copulation. The true, spiritual pleasure is attained when two opposite parts of creation—male and female—merge together and are filled by the common Light.

Subconsciously, in our souls, we all desire this coupling because we were created for it. On some level, we all aspire to feel the spiritual world because it is the only place where we will find true, lasting pleasure.

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