Question: What is the meaning of the words of the Creator: “I wish they would leave me and my Torah would uphold”?
Answer: This means that man makes the wrong efforts, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and for the wrong reason. There are many conditions that must be joined together.
And in addition to this, one must be patient, to understand that it’s an accumulative process to which all our efforts are added, which then bring us results. It’s comparable to a meter, in which there are spinning wheels, and at a certain moment, suddenly the number on the display changes and a “1” appears instead of “0.” And then again the wheels spin for a long time until outside again the number changes to “2” and so on.
We must understand that weeks or months could go by until the meter changes to the next number. But the weeks don’t pass if at that time we don’t invest efforts. Here the person begins to understand that he has no strength or desire, that he isn’t able to do anything, and just wants to leave everything. The body pulls him to empty matters, and the main thing is not to feel his state as being a difficult one.
We already understand how this happens. Here the person needs to find himself support, “Support of the Light.” This means the friends who help each other. Our weakness is that there is no mutual help, and everything is built only on it. Strength is only in connection, and if the connection stops, then no one will have strength.
The Light illuminates from the other side and slowly increases my desire to receive by just one gram, and I immediately fall. I am ready to forget everything, lie down and do nothing, just to be left alone. At least from a physical standpoint it is forbidden to let ourselves fall in this way. The environment should put pressure on me, they should call me if I don’t arrive at the lesson, and they should wake me at home.
I must make these arrangements with my environment so that it will work on me. Also at home, I build such a system that won’t let me miss the morning lesson. I do the same with the friends. I prepare myself in such a way that my conscience will suffer if I don’t arrive at a lesson.
But I must prepare all of this in advance and not at the time of descent. I must worry in advance for something to commit me to arrive for the lesson even when I lack strength. I arrange everything in this way so that I can’t stay home; otherwise, what will my family say? I can’t make excuses each day that I don’t feel well. And the friends would begin to call and ask what happened to me, where did I disappear to, and it would embarrass me.
If I receive a burdening of the heart, then only these measures will work on me. In those moments, I myself am not able to do anything, but I feel that I prepared support for myself and so it also stands in my favor.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/7/13, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”