Baal HaSulam, “The Peace:” … practically determined as “bestowal upon others,” meaning that the actual manifestation of love of others is bestowal of goodness upon others, love of others should be determined as bestowal upon others.
Question: What is “bestowal good upon others?”
Answer: It is bestowal that suits the other, according to what is good for him and not according to what I think is good for him. The good of others is determined by the service to the Creator. Without these three points: “I,” “the others,” and “the Creator,” we are lost. If I work according to the notions of others, I will be under their control, and if I work for myself I will be enslaved to my ego, I need someone who is even higher so that the right formation will be created: the lower, the upper, and the uppermost, only then can I be sure that I am holding on to the right line.
Question: Where am I while I bestow upon others?
Answer: In the last link of the chain, in the Creator, since from there I can relate to others and to myself correctly.
Question: And where is my “self” then?
Answer: Outside myself and outside the others, looking for what is good for others in order to reach adhesion with the Creator. I see the Creator as my goal and then the adhesion with Him is the only good thing.
Question: And what if others don’t know what they want?
Answer: A baby doesn’t know what it wants either, but I take care of it, and by that I understand that it needs to grow, to become strong, healthy, wise, etc. So if I bestow upon someone, he is like a baby for me, he is smaller than me. In that case, I am the one who bestows and he is the one who receives my bestowal. This means that he has a deficiency that I fill. This means that I have to discover a deficiency in him that suits my filling, since I cannot give him bread if he wants milk. And besides, I have to discover a deficiency in him that is in his favor, a deficiency by which he will get closer to the Creator.
In order to do that, I have to connect to others and together attain a connection with the Creator. In other words, I have to bring about the connection of others with the Creator, and then I will be able to fill them. After all, what can I fill others with? I am not the source of the Light, but I bring others to adhesion with the Creator, and that means that I fill them. This is why it is impossible to manage without the formation of the three levels.
From the 4th part the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/30/12, “The Peace”