A human being (Adam) is a new action, new creation developing according to the internal program, inherent in the primary “drop of semen.” To this program, this form, given by the father, the mother’s material is added. Then the program begins to be realized, manifest itself, and the material takes the form of a human being.
A person is born from a mother like an animal. However, we talk about our inner structure, how we give birth to ourselves spiritually. And here is a special condition before us: We have to create our form ourselves.
Question: But is an animal not capable of this?
Answer: An animal remains an animal. It cannot become a human being. It is the foundation above which he is formed. In general, the still, vegetative, and animate nature is the platform above which we build the human form.
Question: Who can build it?
Answer: The “drop of semen” that lies above the animal degree. It contains everything, except the material. But when the material is added to it, the necessary form does not appear automatically like in the animal world; we have to find it ourselves. In the spiritual world, a person creates himself with the Creator’s help.
Initially, I do not know my future spiritual form. I should want it, look for it and try, going in faith above reason as much as I can. I act, striving for something that seems like bestowal to me, and these efforts suddenly bring me to a “discovery,” a new form. Yes, I was thinking about it all that time, but still could not imagine what it would be in reality. Now, when the form of bestowal is dressed in me, I attain it.
How did I get it, not knowing where to go exactly? That is why it is called a “discovery”—it is a surprise for me, not an expected result.
Question: So, what is my free choice?
Answer: Your free choice is to seek this form with the help of the environment, by all possible means. Namely the environment builds my future state, creating its form according to the principle of a matrix that puts pressure on a tin ingot from both sides, giving it the desired form. I am that ingot, the initial material, lying between the two parts of the press: The group is one side and the teacher and studies are the other.
Question: Where is freedom here?
Answer: It is impossible to be just free, if you are free, it means from something. In reality, you can be independent only from the evil inclination. That is why the Creator created the evil inclination first: pride, self-importance, and other egoistic qualities, relative to which we can check ourselves: How much you can cancel them, sacrifice them in order to take any form that the teacher, studies, and group require from you? If you accept their “pressure,” the Creator fills this new form with the spirit of life. And if not, then not.
When you would like to leave the group, but still decide to stay, then you go toward free choice. The choice means to rise above the evil inclination. Then, you will really feel free.
But now the time has not come yet: Is it possible to let a baby who barely learned to walk choose? He will break something. It is impossible to create a reality of freedom immediately when you have all the qualities opposed to the Creator and you have the opportunity to agree or disagree with Him.
However, today it is not required. Gradually, you realize that you do not have choice for the time being while you are under the dominion of the egoistic desire. Only it acts in you, and you have nothing else, no other force in resisting egoism in something and putting up with it in something else. You still need to go forward, study, and draw a lot of Reforming Light in order to acquire the second force.
In the end, finding yourself between two forces, you obtain the whole world, completely different values, a new understanding. Then, we will talk about free choice.
It is no coincidence that the right to vote is given at 18 and not before. Imagine if 10-year-old children could vote. Then candidates would state from the screen without any constraint: “I will give you candies! I will provide everyone under the age of 18 with the latest generation of smartphones!”
In general, we see that everyday life does not offer a person freedom. And there is no such desire. Today, you do not think that you need choice because you feel you are free. You do not feel that the Creator fully controls you.
And that is why He teaches you: First, He gives you the egoistic desire and then puts obstacles on the path to its realization, as if someone prevents you. You do not understand yet that everything comes from one source, and that is what you are taught.
Question: How can we accelerate this process?
Answer: Through playing with the correct environment, with the group. Replace a vague relationship with the Creator with a real relationship with the group. You can do this. If you want with the help of environment to change how the Creator treats you, you have the opportunity. Instead of the Creator, accept the group as a factor of influence and you can control your life freely.
We hear this, but do not yet feel it. No problem, awareness will come soon…
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/11/12, Writings of Baal HaSulam