Discard The Distorting Glasses
Question: Could you give a specific example of a correct family relationship? I do not yet fully understand it.
Answer: For example, the wife thinks that her husband is not supporting her; she feels lonely. However, she needs to treat him and speak with him like she feels his support one hundred percent. Instead of becoming upset that he gives her no support at all, she thanks him for being so helpful and supportive, and how will the husband respond?
At first, he will be shocked because he thought that she was going to start fighting with him. He will think that she is being sarcastic, but this situation is not just turned upside down, here we have an opposite that comes from another opposite, and from another opposite. This is because she sees faults in you, then she applies them to herself, and tells you what she would have actually seen in you if her egoism was not getting in the way.
Question: I do not understand how I can say the opposite from what I feel!
Answer: Please understand that we do not see the world. We only see ourselves! Every person has a filter before their eyes that only allows me to see what is good and what is bad for me.
This is so that I could distance myself from the things that harm me and become closer to the things that are good for me. I see the world very selectively.
I do not know and am not familiar with the real world, which exists outside of me on the other side of my hands that I am using to cover my eyes. I do not understand it and do not know anything about it.
It presents itself to me the way my egoistic desire paints it, but when I begin to perceive this egoistic desire as an enemy and I wish to see the world as good, then I wish to remove these egoistic, distorting glasses, and to do this, I speak well about all the things I see as bad.
This does not mean that I am lying to you because I treat you as a mother treats her child, and I like all of your qualities. This is how I will see you once I remove the egoistic glasses because only a perfect world exists outside of me.
Question: But I am still wearing these distorting, criticizing glasses!
Answer: However, you wish to see beyond them. Rise above your knowledge. Your natural egoism is soldered in these lenses. This is why you only see faults in your partner when you look at her.
If these were regular glasses, you would simply take them off and throw them out, but these lenses are implanted in you, and this is why you must accept everything that is bad as good. Remember, you are looking through distorted glasses.
“Love covers all transgressions.” This means that there will be no crimes left, only love, instead of them. You love everything in your partner. You simply do not notice any faults in her because habit becomes second nature. Try as hard as you can until it becomes a habit!
Let us decide that, from this moment on, we will behave at home as if we were both perfect and there are no contradictions between us, like we really want to do as much good as we can for one another and be like one body, not physically, in bed, but emotionally, internally. You will see all this materialize after a multitude of these kinds of exercises.
However, naturally, here you cannot do it without social pressure from the environment. You never leave this never-ending seminar. You simply exist within it, and then you will suddenly see the nature inside and outside you begin to change. You will see the world to be different, as well as yourself and all your relationships. Everything will change. As it is written, “I saw an opposite world.”
This seems to be a psychological exercise, but there is a lot of depth to it. We need a collective force to influence us and help us begin these exercises. However, there is a very important condition here: The teacher in this group needs to come from the community of Bnei Baruch.
From “A New Life” 7/12/12
Fighting For The Record: The Bar Of Family Relations
Married, But Free As A Bird!
Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Show Me All Truth
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