Striving forward towards the goal of creation, we discover destruction inside of ourselves. Conversely, those who do not strive forward do not discover destruction inside of themselves. In exactly the same way, one can reveal the malfunctions in an automobile only if one starts the car and tries to move it. Otherwise, everything seems to be in order. I have not yet found any problems inside of me, and I attribute evil to something else.

That is why only the one who strives towards the goal reveals destruction, only the one who strives towards unity of the group discovers how far away he is from that. Movement towards the good and striving for wellbeing brings us a bad feeling, the realization of evil.

What for? So that on the next level I would cry out asking for help, raise the MAN (prayer). And then I will receive changes, the qualities of bestowal. That is where movement occurs and not in anything else. One must check oneself in this.

So, I have been applying efforts, I was uniting with the group, and I wanted to be together with the friends in order to come out into the spiritual world, to arrive at bestowal, to the Creator. And what did I receive as an answer? The realization of evil: how much I do not want to go to the Creator, do not want to be in the group. I discover my true state; the truth comes out into the light.

If I put down my hands now, then I will miss the opportunity that this revelation presents. The Creator said: “I have created the evil inclination, I have created the Torah as a spice.” It means that now I am starting from the evil inclination, and up until now I carried out work in order to reveal it.

First of all, in order to reveal the evil, I must be connected to the group, the study, the Creator, and other means. As a consequence, the evil inclination has been revealed to me. Afterward, I address an appeal (MAN) for the Torah, spice, for the Light that Reforms concealed inside of it.

In reality, all of that is good. Since if we were to judge it from the point of view of bestowal, then the revelation of the evil is the essence of the good. But when will I attain revelation?

And then, the next state comes to me; I receive the answer of the One above to my appeal—MAD. This answer can be so great, that I will attain group connection and a vessel in which I will reveal the Light. Then the Light and the vessel will become bestowal, which I have attained after numerous similar actions.

This way, on the one hand, receiving, the evil inclination is always characteristic of me, but on the other hand, I get the force of bestowal, the Light.
[84186]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/29/12, Writings of Rabash

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