Starting from the first restriction on, Malchut starts to receive for the sake of bestowal to the extent she is able to return goodness to the Host. Naturally, she is unable to receive everything, all 100%.
But since she made the restriction on her own, by her free choice, she has the force to withstand the entire Light of the world of Infinity and to start gradually accepting it for the sake of bestowal.
But this is not easy at all because I reveal the pleasure of adhesion, the greatness of the Giving One, of my equivalence to him, from the fact that I become the same as Him. This adhesion contains “620 times” more pleasure.
Malchut can tolerate only a small part of this pleasure, and therefore it is called “a very thin line” (Kav Dak Meod), a thin ray from the whole Light. But this little ray is not from the Light that Malchut of Infinity felt before the restriction, because only the Light of Nefesh was present there.
Now in this line she reveals NaRanHY (Nefesh-Ruach-Neshama- Haya-Yehida) – very significant actions. They are “620 times” bigger – meaning all of the “commandments,” all of her corrections. When instead of receiving inside of her, she performs actions of reception for the sake of bestowal in each of her corrected desires, this is called carrying out 620 commandments which are filled by the Light of adhesion.
But where can she get a screen for such a great Light – for pleasure from adhesion? After all, I receive, thinking that I do it for the sake of the Host, but now I reveal what it means to be the same as Him – what an unusual pleasure this is, what height, and how good it is to be in adhesion with Him!
This is what becomes revealed inside of the spiritual Partzuf. And therefore, it’s clear that Malchut is unable to receive the entire Light of Infinity in this form.
If the task were simply to receive without thinking about the Host, then there’d be no problem, or even to receive in order to give pleasure to the Host – this is also possible. But the problem is that by giving pleasure to Him, I myself receive a very enormous, additional pleasure – one that’s “620 times” more than the previous. It’sNaRaNHY instead of the Light of Nefesh! And I don’t have the strength to withstand it.
So where will I get that kind of force? For that I descend lower and lower with all the worlds, increasingly feeling just how unable I am to accept the pleasure from adhesion, from the greatness of the Creator, and to stay in bestowal. Therefore, this leads to the downward descent of the Partzufim and worlds.
This is not because I cannot accept the pleasure that filled Malchut of the world of Infinity. But one more great pleasure was included there, which did not become revealed to her there – pleasure from adhesion, from unity. And if she had also responded, then an enormous force of mutual love would have become revealed between them.
But she is incapable of feeling that kind of pleasure while remaining in bestowal. Therefore, now she descends and continually checks the extent to which she is incapable of that kind of bestowal. Therein lies the essence of the descent of the worlds and Partzufim which were born during the descent of Malchut of the world of Infinity down to this world. That is, this is the realization of how enormous is the greatness of the Creator, the greatness of adhesion with Him – it is “620 times” greater than what I am able to bear.
I am able to perceive for the sake of bestowal my own pleasure from being filled by Light. But I cannot accept for the sake of bestowal the pleasure that becomes revealed as a result of the fact that I returned pleasure to the Host – this is adhesion, love, and Light that is born, that breaks through between us as the heat of love, the result of my response.
For this kind of pleasure, I am unable to create a screen and to reflect the Light in full, but only small parts of it, only as much as I can in order to cling to Him….
This means that the pleasure from bestowal also returns to the Creator.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/19/11, Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah