The worst and most painful state experienced by Malchut is the state of total fulfillment by the Light in the world of Infinity since it has nothing to cover itself with. All of this forces Malchut to undergo multiple transformations that we call movements, actions.
This chain of reactions that Malchut has to go through is regarded as motion on its part. Hence, it is all about the inner sensations, inner wisdom, inner movement, and about the fact that everything is done solely by the desire and the intention accompanying it. Nothing else is real but this!
Our world that we observe around us is imaginary. Everything is taking place inside Malchut of the world of Infinity until it completes itself and starts receiving in order to bestow, meaning abandons the feeling of receiving for self-gratification it used to have before the First Restriction. That’s so even though this first sensation didn’t qualify as egoistic since Malchut didn’t commit it consciously and didn’t know what state it was entering.
Thus, spiritual motion isn’t measured and evaluated by the number of corporeal actions, but only by the inner states a person is going through. This is why it is so difficult to measure. Everybody keeps asking: How can I know how far I have advanced? In fact, this can only be measured when you’ve entered the spiritual world and can count precisely how many spiritual actions you have performed.
Watching a little child, we see that he doesn’t have any idea where he is and what he is doing. Only as he continues to grow, he perfects the quality of his mind and starts counting what happened yesterday, today, and what will be happen tomorrow. He learns to sense time and later on, motion. He is taught: Do this and do not do that. In other words, he starts attaining certain things and the connection between them; he learns how to transition from one state to the other consciously, to listen to and follow what grown-ups recommend.
It is similar in the spiritual world, and we come to perform the spiritual acts. But all of them take place solely within a person. On the outside, nothing is going on, and nothing depends on the external actions. And yet, our external deeds can influence our internal state since it has to do with human psychology.
We get involved in the surrounding society by way of our personal participation, by certain corporeal actions, and thanks to that, we unify with it internally. And this inner bond impacts us and gets counted as our spiritual work.
Hence, it all depends on our awareness of the evil—that’s why we study and do spiritual work. The instant a person feels his egoism, he is ready to take spiritual action, meaning to change within, in order to get rid of this evil. And then the question is what kind of evil it is: how big it is in quality and quantity regarding bestowal or reception.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/6/2011, Talmud Eser Sefirot