A question I received: Why is it so difficult to carry out the condition of “buy yourself a friend”? Shouldn’t our egoism derive pleasure from this?
My Answer: You “buy” friends by lowering yourself before them and doing what they want. This is called “paying.” Rather than proudly walking into a store with a pile of money and choosing who to buy, you buy a friend by doing what is necessary for him; you serve him. You don’t buy him “from above”; you buy him “from below.” You are willing to do everything for him as though he does not need you.
In other words, you bend down before him and ask, “What can I do for you so that you will become my friend? I am ready for anything, just give my spiritual desire, my soul back to me!”
You cannot forcefully demand that he return your soul to you since it is in his possession. If now you want to receive your soul, you need to approach him from different sides, trying to find the approach which will make him free your soul. Your success depends only on his positive attitude towards you. If he does not wish to treat you well, then you are lost.
Did you ever take care of someone, trying to gain their positive disposition to you? Imagine that you are standing before a judge who needs to announce your sentence now. He is disposed strictly against you and is just seething with anger. How would you try to change his anger to mercy?
“A person and a group” is a whole Kabbalistic drama.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/14/10, Article, “Make Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend – 2”