Entries in the 'Women' Category

What Should Women Strive For?

Perserverance Is the Key to SuccessThree questions I received on women’s roles and tasks:

Question: At one of the lessons, you said that a woman has to reach the quality of “bestowal for the sake of bestowal,” while a man needs to reach the quality of “reception for the sake of bestowal.” Does this mean that a woman cannot ascend higher than the degree of “bestowal for the sake of bestowal”?

My Answer: She can, but only by helping the men.

Question: You said that only the men have to reach the degree of “love your neighbor as yourself,” through the group. So what are we, the women of Bnei Baruch, trying to achieve?

My Answer: You have to support the men in accomplishing this task. This is how you will receive your entire correction. As we are told in regard to the Torah’s reception: the men have to achieve a “Mutual Guarantee,” and the women have to help them.

Question: Am I correct in my understanding that the women’s task is to direct and help the men come out of the animate egoism? And maybe men will then see us, the women, differently also?

My Answer: Definitely! The female part of humanity actually directs the male part.

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Do Women Need To Attend Congresses?


Two questions I received from women about Congresses:

Question: Before the Congress, a woman from Feiga Ashlag’s group said that women do not have to be present at the Congress. She said it suffices for us just to desire for the men to succeed. Is this really so? Should I go to the Congress next time?

My Answer: Women should definitely be present at the Congresses because this is their only opportunity to participate in unification. Not attending would be a big mistake and a lost opportunity. Besides, I’m not sure where this information came from since I heard that Feiga Ashlag was also present at the Congress.

Question: At previous Congresses I attended (St. Louis, Israel 2008), I felt a connection to everyone. But at this last Congress ‘09 in Israel, although I felt I prepared for it, I was not able to connect to everyone. I enjoyed the songs and watching the men come together, but I did not feel the energy the same way as before. All I can think is that there is something wrong with me, that my desire must not be strong enough. What could it be? My own perception?

My Answer: You simply were unable to come “out of yourself.” Your egoism didn’t allow you to get lost in the masses!

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In The Spiritual World, Men’s And Women’s Souls Connect Like A Husband And Wife In This World

laitman_2008-11_wife-olga_100A question I received: You wrote: “Every woman represents a desire, and every man represents the fulfillment of this desire. Hence, it’s impossible for women to be friends with anyone, and they can only love what belongs to them.” I don’t understand, why is it impossible for women to be friends with anyone? Perhaps my definition of friends is different. I understand that I don’t have many true friends and just lots of acquaintances, but I still feel I have friends. Can you explain?

My Answer: A man’s egoistic nature has to go through correction in order to transform to “love for one’s neighbor.” However, a woman’s correction doesn’t happen by participating in a group of friends or girlfriends, but by helping the men’s group do their work. How can a woman help them? By working on dissemination.

Everyone has friends, but in Kabbalah we are talking about something special: the unification of the male souls into one common soul, where each male soul and all the souls together are joined by the female souls, like Galgalta ve Eynaim and AHP. The male souls have to correct themselves by uniting, and they then transmit the correction to the female souls. However, the female souls receive the correction only to the degree they connect to the male souls.

It is written that when the Creator was revealed, 600,000 men united in a Mutual Guarantee while the women surrounded them, supporting and helping them. Another example is the family, where the husband works and earns, and a woman receives what he brings her, organizes the home, gives birth and produces the next generation, even though it receives the man’s name.

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Men And Women Are Satisfied By Different Things


A question I received: Why do women feel depressed more than men? And is it really so, or do people just think so because women are quicker to turn to a psychologist than men? And is it true that a woman needs a man?

My Answer: Men, like children, have more opportunities in this world to “play” than a woman does. This is why women are depressed more often than men. A man feels more satisfied with the superficial aspects of a relationship, whereas a woman feels more satisfaction from feelings. This also makes men less dependent.

The Talmud says that a woman would give up 90% of her wealth for a heartfelt connection with a man, but a man would only give up 10%. In other words, a woman is 90% satisfied through feelings and a man is 90% satisfied through the body.

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In The Spiritual World, Women Don’t Get Carried Around By Men


Three questions I received on women’s spiritual development:

Question: Can the men of Bnei Baruch who are above this world “carry” a woman over the Machsom if she is ready for it? Or do we women have to wait for a certain number of corrected male souls, and if so, then what is this number?

My Answer: Maybe in our world there are men who carry women around, but there’s no such thing in the spiritual world! If a woman is ready for it, she absorbs the force of the men’s group and participates in the crossing of the Machsom together with everyone.

Question: How important is it for a woman to study in a group? My egoism doesn’t let me get over my dislike of the group members in my city. Is it possible to grow spiritually in a group of people who are still so alien to me that I feel repelled by them?

My Answer: There is no such thing as a women’s group. A woman and a group are incompatible.

Question: If my essence as a woman is to provide the lack, then wouldn’t developing the quality of bestowal (instead of the desire to receive) make me similar to a man? And then whom will the men give to?

My Answer: Within each one of us there are male and female parts: the Kli (our desires) and the Light (our intentions to bestow). You should look for the right combination between the two.

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Kabbalah & Women

Men, Women, And Love… For One’s Neighbor

Kabbalah Leaves No Room for Simple FaithTwo questions I received on the difference between men and women in Kabbalah:

Question: You said at one of the lessons that in addition to loving one’s neighbor as oneself, a person also shouldn’t be an obstacle for his neighbor or cause him harm. How does this law work in regard to women? I know that you said women are freed from the commandment of loving one’s neighbor as oneself, but what about “don’t be an obstacle for your friend,” in regard to women in particular?

My Answer: This commandment pertains to everyone. However, its attainment or implementation differs for men and for women. For men it is done in the group, through love for the friends, whereas for women it is done through working together in dissemination and helping the men.

Question: Does the differentiation between men and women, like when they sit apart while having a meal, have a Kabbalistic meaning or is it a Jewish cultural/religious custom?

My Answer: The rules of our gatherings bear no relation to any other cultures, conventionalities, or etiquettes. Everything is determined only by the goal: for friends to draw closer to each other, which occurs separately for men and for women. All of nature in all the worlds is strictly divided into male and female, and when each part carries out its function, they reach perfection.

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Kabbalah Is Taught By Men Because Zeir Anpin Corrects Malchut


A question I received: I am studying Kabbalah for 3 years and I have translated many writings from English to German. I also know almost all of your women’s lessons. But sometimes it happens to me that I still wonder why, for instance, the children’s lessons are made only by men (even if a woman appears, her role is played by a man), or why women are not allowed to read texts for audio material or translate your lessons simultaneously? All the Kabbalistic songs are sung only by men. Why are women excluded from participating at cultural evenings during Congresses? Is it really because men are distracted and cannot concentrate on the goal?

My Answer: The lessons are taught by men because Kabbalah in general is taught by men. As the method of correction, Kabbalah must come from men. Didn’t you study that Zeir Anpin corrects Malchut?! However, the translation of our lessons to Spanish, for example, is always done by a woman. Our TV shows also devote a lot of time to women and women participate in them. We welcome women’s participation anywhere possible. However, it doesn’t correspond to our inner work to have women speaking in front of men. We learn in Kabbalah that the female part (Malchut) receives from the male part (Zeir Anpin), but not vice-versa.

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Who’s The Stronger Sex?

Laitman_516News Report (from US News & World Report): A team at the Cleveland Clinic and Case Western Reserve University followed 1,000 seniors in three Florida retirement communities for up to 15 years. They found that women with higher levels of anxiety at the start of the study lived longer than others. In contrast to women, men with higher anxiety levels at the start of the study were more likely to die earlier, the researchers said. “Our research indicates that anxiety may have a protective effect on women…,” Dr. Jianping Zhang, of the department of psychiatry and psychology at the Cleveland Clinic, said in a prepared statement. “In contrast, increasing anxiety over time is more detrimental to men.”

My Comment: Well, this just goes to show who’s the stronger sex! And the reason for it all is that a woman is naturally closer to nature; she is Malchut – all of nature. A man, on the other hand, does not have strong roots in our world, because he has to master them through becoming similar to the Creator. Only then will he find his place and become strong – stronger than the woman. So it’s true what they say: Behind every successful man, there is a woman. This is absolutely true in the spiritual sense as well, where one’s “woman” is one’s corrected desire.

Question: What is your view about Hillary Clinton being expected to accept the position of Secretary of State in the Obama administration? A woman is a powerful force; could this be a positive move?

My Answer: In our time, when everyone is feeling empty and revealing the need for correction, perhaps this is best, since women are more cautious and realistic, less ambitious and closer to nature. However, on the whole, this is contrary to our spiritual nature, where a person begins by correcting the “man” within and only afterward – the “woman” within.

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For Women, Dissemination Is Much More Important Than Studying


Three questions I received on the role of women in Kabbalah:

Question: I know many women who watch the second part of the lesson (Talmud Eser Sefirot). In all the years that I’ve been studying, I’ve been watching just the first and third parts of the lesson, and I do dissemination work during the second part. I’ve heard you say that Talmud Eser Sefirot does not help women correct their souls. But the fact that other women listen to Talmud Eser Sefirot confuses me. Maybe I should start listening to it as well?

My Answer: For women, dissemination work is much more important than studying. Men work on correcting their intention by attracting Ohr Makif during the study of Talmud Eser Sefirot (they “earn a living”), whereas women disseminate (give birth). This is a woman’s role in the world.

Question: During one of your lessons you said that the only free will that exists is when men choose to either unite or not to unite when they are working in a group. The rest is decided by the Creator. Since women don’t and can’t work in a group, where is their free will?

My Answer: In helping the group.

Question: What should I look for in my future husband? He obviously needs to study Kabbalah, but what other qualities are absolutely necessary for him to have?

My Answer: Besides your common interests, you shouldn’t feel repulsed by him.

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Find A Partner Among Those Similar To You

Fulfillment Can Only Be SpiritualQuestions I received on men and women:

Question: Why does a woman desire to be “the one and only,” and for the Creator to reach only her alone? Does this have a spiritual root? A man also shows that he wants to be the one and only: to be the best, the strongest, to show that he can do anything, and so on.

My Answer: A woman wants to be connected to the Source, whereas a man wants to become the Source himself.

Question: All I can think about half the time is making love to some beautiful woman studying Kabbalah. Is this normal?

My Answer: This will force you to become interested in Kabbalah in order for her to like you. But then you will discover so many new and attractive things in Kabbalah that your attention will shift to it instead. Meanwhile, the beautiful woman will remain, but just as someone who accompanies you, instead of being the main reason you study.

Question: What is the best solution for me: to marry a man who does not aspire for spirituality or to stay single until the Creator will want me to find a partner in life?

My Answer: Try to find a partner among those similar to you.

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