My new article on Linkedin “What Schools Are Not Teaching (And Should)”

Societies have failed their exams on education. From the beginning to the end through all the school years, our children are sentenced to tiring days confined within classroom walls. It is clear that today’s educational system is far from perfect, but can we afford to just wait for a miraculous change to happen? We need to start asking what the changes are that we would like to see. How should schools be designed so that our children will enjoy their time spent learning and they will actually learn things that enable them to realize their full potential as human beings?

Similar to the way many layers of various minerals were deposited to create the Grand Canyon, so children are treated at school. They are all assembled as a big block, filled layer by layer, like in a production line, without regarding how the place should be built to be adapted to the particular physiological and emotional needs of a child who is growing and developing. Unfortunately, any typical school is a place steeped with violence, ruthless competition and anger, where many students suffer from boycotts, bullying, and other serious phenomena. Nationwide, 42.1% of U.S. students ages 12-18 experienced bullying in the classroom according to federal statistics.

The variety of problems we see in society begin in schools. The contempt, condescension and bad relations so common on social networks, in the workplace, on the roads, as well as in the media, in politics, any and everywhere, are all side effects of what happens in schools. A person, a human being, a humane member of society, is not built there as is evident in the end result. We pay the price throughout life as individuals and as a society.

In order to design something completely different we need to start by drawing a picture of the life we would like our children to live in adulthood. In a world that is becoming more and more connected, the most important thing for success is to know how to build positive relations with others. A person who knows how to make mutual social connections and who could organize good connections between people around him or herself, such a person would succeed in anything and everything: in business, in the workplace, in relationships and in the family. Therefore, the main occupation of the schools should be to build a person with the ability to connect with each and every one.

How do we do that? About a third of school time should be devoted to methods such as circle discussions, conversations, workshops, contact exercises, friendly games, watching meaningful movies, theater simulations, role-playing games and all sorts of means aimed at developing a person’s ability to feel others and communicate well. The goal is to build a deep bond between the children, to make them feel like a cohesive group where everyone feels for everyone and supports each other.

The topics that should be studied in such a framework are from the field of human relationships and the psychology of social relationships between children and parents, boys and girls, etc., so that everyone will understand how others are constituted and see what they can take from it for fulfillment. It goes without saying that we will first need to prepare an infrastructure of teachers who will be experts in leading such processes and detailed curricula.

Another third of the time should be devoted to study tours, field trips, outside of school. The goal is to get to know life itself, the city, the country, the world; to see how different facilities work like banks, factories, courts, hospitals, high-tech companies, automobile repair shops, agricultural greenhouses or chip manufacturing laboratories. They need to see everything with their own eyes, understand how things work, talk to professionals who will explain the working methods, the technologies they use, the laws on which they are based.

Children should be prepared for each tour in advance and followed up with a summary where each child will present his or her impressions of the tour to their classmates, and everyone will absorb the impressions of everyone else. Such tours will inspire children to understand why it is necessary to learn about all sorts of professions that seemed unnecessary in the first place. Another beneficial option is arranging for the youth to be integrated in various workplaces each week so students will be able to find out which profession they are interested in. This will naturally increase their desire to learn and polish their abilities and skills.

The remaining third of the time should be devoted to imparting knowledge in all kinds of elementary subjects such as mathematics, English and science. Here, too, the learning must be conducted in a group format where everyone supports and helps each other to understand things. This would be really meaningful learning, not just a hollow slogan about education.

Thus, school will become an open and fun place, a university of life. And unlike the knowledge retained for a short period of time as currently happens, children will absorb information and experiences deep inside them, and most importantly: wherever they go later in life, they will want to build this kind of relationships around them.

Looking ahead, later in the 21st century the most sought-after profession will be experts in building social connections. Computers and robots will perform most jobs in the future, and what we will be left with is mainly to take care of developing integral relationships between people. This is how the human race will progress by adapting to the system of nature in which everything is connected and interdependent. In such a state of mutual cooperation our life and the life of the future generation will be the best it can be.
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My new article on Linkedin “There Is No Shortage of Energy; There Is Shortage of Normalcy”

Despite increased production of energy from renewable sources, and despite the slowdown in car manufacturing, oil prices are skyrocketing. Even though fewer power plants still burn coal, coal prices are skyrocketing, as well. Natural gas prices, too, are going through the roof, and energy demand seems to outpace supply in every country and in every form of energy. Have Earth’s energy sources dwindled so drastically in a matter of months? The answer is a resounding “No!” There is no shortage of energy; there is a serious shortage of normalcy in human relations. I hope the current crisis will put some sense into humanity’s insane consumption.

The energy crunch indicates that we are over consuming. We are producing too much, throwing the excess production to the trash, polluting the ground, the air, and the water, and then we are complaining that we do not have enough. It is about as sane as killing one’s parents and then pleading for the court’s mercy because I’ve recently been orphaned.

It is time we reconsider everything we produce—how we divide production, profits, and goods, which services are necessary and which are redundant, and most importantly, how we treat one another. The goal of this process should be clear to everyone: survival.

There is no ulterior motive, no attempt to dominate or deprive anyone of power or wealth. It is simply that reality is forcing us to take all of humanity and the entire planet into consideration. If we don’t, our entire civilization will collapse like a deck of cards.

Since we still do not understand it and insist on running things the way we have always been running them—through power games—I anticipate a very cold and gloomy winter for the northern hemisphere. The energy crunch will leave many in dark and cold houses; there will be no gas for cars, and renewable energy will not replace traditional sources since there will be little sun during the winter. I hope that at least, it will make us rethink our values. If it doesn’t, next summer will be even worse than the awful summer that just ended.

I know that many people are counting on the promise of renewable energy to solve the energy problems of humanity. I think they are mistaken. There is plenty of energy, far more than we really need. We could cut emissions by at least half tomorrow. But the more we have, the hungrier we become, so our thirst for energy will never be satiated, and we will never stop exploiting the planet or each other until we reeducate ourselves and start being humane toward each other.

We have been behaving like spoiled brats whose parents buy them whatever they want. Now, our parents have run out of money and our childhood is over. It is time for us to mature and conduct ourselves like responsible adults, caring for all of humanity the way a mother cares for her entire family. If we think like a family, we will achieve normalcy.
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My new article on Linkedin “What Trump’s Comeback Would Mean to Israel”

If U.S. presidential elections were held today, former president Donald Trump would return to the White House, according to a recent Rasmussen Reports survey. If such a forecast were to become a reality, we might assume that Israel would recover a friend. However, this actualization would entirely depend on Jews themselves.

The poor handling of the illegal immigration crisis and the messy U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan are some of the factors attributed to American’s disapproval of President Joe Biden. 58% of likely U.S. voters disapprove the President’s job performance, while just 40% evaluate it positively, based on the new poll. The survey also predicts a Trump victory in 2024 if he runs for president against Joe Biden or Kamala Harris.

The recent failed push from the Progressive Aisle within the Democratic party to halt U.S. assistance to Israel to help fund the critical Iron Dome defense system was a clear warning of the antisemitic interest to wipe Israel off the map. Moreover, we cannot and must not ignore the rise of antisemitism and anti-Israeli sentiment in America which is evident in social media, in politics, and at schools and universities.

Back in 2005, when I was visiting the United States, I tried to warn of just such a scenario. I lectured at one of the universities and argued with Jews who filled the hall about the fact that America had a bad future, and that antisemitism would raise its head to a height that would not fall short of Germany’s hatred on the eve of World War II. They refused to heed my warnings. “Your predictions cannot be. We have strong organizations. We are admired by everyone.” They looked at me with total incredulity.

Nine years later, in 2014, I went back and again tried to speak to their hearts. The hatred towards Jews was already brewing, it could be felt, but I perceived the same indifference in them. To this day, most Jews are still ardent supporters of President Biden, not grasping the array of forces hostile to Israel that stand behind him. At least half of the country, with remarkable support from American Jews, chose a Democratic Administration. That’s what they chose, that’s what they got.

The root of the problem is that Jews are not clever. We keep asking ourselves why there are so many blows against us? We do not realize that we bring this upon ourselves by being such short-sighted people. We love our haters and despise our friends, throwing them away and distancing ourselves from them. So it is no wonder we find ourselves in states of constant turbulence and unpleasant situations.

Why is it that American Jews did not support Trump’s reelection? Who was better for Israel than him? Do we really think that the Left will guarantee our existence for the future? It does not guarantee anything; to the contrary, we are digging our own grave.

The Torah speaks of Jewish stubbornness when it refers to the people of Israel as a, “stiff-necked people” (Exodus 32:9.) Our growing ego rules us with a strong hand and an outstretched arm.

It’s a paradox: we can be wise people, with a sharp mind, experts in science, economics, in every field we touch on, except one: spiritual corrections. When it comes to correcting the evil instinct—to convert it into a good instinct, willingly for the good of others—we fall into a deep numbness of the senses.

The ego makes us ignore that the world is a reflection of what happens in the relationships between ourselves. If we are united, we are perceived as a positive force in the world, and when the opposite is perceived, our apparent weakness causes predicaments to befall us.

Foremost Kabbalist, Rav Yehuda Ashlag (Baal HaSulam) writes in his wonderful article “Introduction to the Book of Zohar,” that when we Jews are connected to each other above egoism, we radiate from the power of connection to all humanity. Whereas, when we are immersed in self-love and allow the evil instinct to prevail and separate us to the point of rejection and hatred, the result is the unleashing of negative forces upon us, the empowering of them to act against us.

The antisemitism that manifests both from the Right and from the Left, is the reflection of the hatred that exists between the factions of the people of Israel. What is happening between us permeates the whole world.

Therefore, we have but one goal: connection above all differences. Because only by uniting above all egoistic disagreements is it possible to evoke a higher power, a solid foundation on which the people of Israel are able to exist and sustain the world.

It is the Supreme force, the power of love that brings about the correction of egoism and balances hostility. And if we Jews will overcome our disputes it will resonate strongly to the world and finally neutralize the hatred as well. Therefore, the choice of Jews should be: become as one, close to one another above any personal consideration. By this, we will determine our fate and the right leader for Israel, America, and the entire world will appear accordingly.
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My new article on Linkedin “Tunisia’s New Prime Minister Could Mark the Beginning of a Real Arab Spring”

On September 29, Tunisia’s president, Kais Saied, named Prof. of Geology Najla Bouden Romdhane as the country’s new prime minister. The newsworthy element about this story is that at a time of intensifying intolerance within the Muslim world, a Muslim country appoints a woman as prime minister. I think it is a wise decision that can pay Tunisia a handsome dividend, and I hope that naming Prof. Romdhane for this high position will mark the beginning of a new and positive Arab Spring.

While it is not for me to speculate on the motive of President Saied in picking a woman for the job, I have no doubt that essentially, a woman is a natural pick for an administrative task. After all, who runs the house? The woman. While the man is usually regarded as the head of the family, the real landlady is, well, the lady. She may stand behind her man, but from there, she runs her husband, as well as everyone and everything else.

Since Biblical times, the man was instructed to follow the woman when it comes to making choices. In Abraham’s case, for example, “God said to Abraham … ‘whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her’” (Gen. 21:12).

Therefore, I think that picking a woman to govern an Arab country is a good choice. I have no doubt that she will face obstacles. She will need to prove herself to her people and to Arab leaders wherever she goes. Nevertheless, it is a welcome revolution that I think will eventually succeed.

It is time that even fundamentalist Muslim cultures will begin to acknowledge the unique power of women, that their word has merit and weight. Throughout the world, we can see the impact of women in every field, and it is time it reached the Muslim world, as well.

Some countries pride themselves in being progressive, when in truth, they place a glass ceiling over women’s heads that blocks their promotion up the ranks of government. I think that such countries are losing. In statesmanship, as at home, ignoring women’s views is a great loss to everyone.

It is written in The Book of Zohar (Beresheet 2): “And the man said, ‘This is now a bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh’ … Now he began to praise her, ‘She shall be called ‘a woman,’ for there are none other like her, the glory of the house.’”

Indeed, a woman at the head of a country will relate to the country as she relates to her home. The citizens will be as her children. If she behaves like a woman instead of trying to fit into the masculine stereotype, she will see to every little detail that is under her influence.

Unlike a man, a woman can multitask very naturally. While men must focus on one task at a time in order to do it well, women can perform multiple duties concurrently without losing concentration on any of them.

Therefore, it is my hope that this welcome change will percolate to more Muslim countries, including the Arab society here in Israel. I have no doubt that it will not be easy, but in the end, if women join the leadership of countries, they will be very instrumental and promote effective solutions to the multiple crises plaguing our world.
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My new article on Linkedin “Volcanic Eruptions Are Corrections, Too”

For several weeks now, there has been a series of seismic events in and around the Mediterranean Sea. First, Mt. Athena in Italy erupted. Next, a series of earthquakes struck Crete; and currently, Mt. Cumbre Vieja has erupted a little farther south, on the Spanish island of La Palma off the coast of Morocco. Nothing happens without a reason. If we know that reality is moving toward balance, then these events are on the way toward it, too. What we need to learn is how to achieve balance without going through upheavals and disasters on the way to peace.

Biologists call it “homeostasis”; physicists call it entropy, or a “state of thermodynamic equilibrium.” Either way, nature’s final, healthy state is balance, harmony. Volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, massive storms, and other menaces indicate nature’s level of imbalance. These are the valves through which nature releases excess pressure on the various levels of nature. The more intense the pressure, the more intense the natural disaster.

When we look around us for the cause of nature’s growing pressure, we will not find it. It seems to erupt for no reason. In the past, humans thought that to appease the gods, i.e. nature, they must sacrifice other human beings, sometimes even children. When they became more “civilized,” they started sacrificing animals, then plants, until man has abandoned sacrifices altogether. But nature’s wrath is still very much a part of our lives.

The thing is that there is a reason for nature’s apparent fury, which today we know is imbalance, and there is something that we need to sacrifice in order to “appease” nature. However, that something is not outside of us, but within us: It is our own ego, our self-centered nature, which is engraved in us at birth.

Currently, we worship our ego. We cater to its whims and wish nothing but to satisfy it.

Yet, if we keep worshipping it, we will destroy our planet and destroy ourselves in the process. The only way to secure a good life for everyone is to think of everyone rather than only of ourselves.

If we start cultivating more inclusive thought patterns, more caring and mutual responsibility, we will change our lives dramatically. The only element that is out of balance with the rest of nature will disappear, nature’s wrath will subside, and peace will reign supreme.
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My new article on Linkedin “Playing in a Nuclear Sandbox”

The AUKUS Nuclear Submarine Deal, in which the US and the UK will sell nuclear submarine building technologies to Australia so it can build its own nuclear subs, has made big waves over the past two weeks. There has been much ado over France taking offense with Australia for walking out of a nearly done deal with it to buy similar technology. A lot of money is involved, but pride is more a factor here than money. The frightening thing here is not the nuclear submarines themselves, but the fact that the parties are behaving like kids in a sandbox squabbling over a toy shovel. But in this case, it is a nuclear toy, and the ramifications of these games will impact all eight billion of us.

The bad news is that you cannot stop this madness. If you don’t have nuclear subs, you are powerless and cannot stop those who have them. If you do have nuclear subs, you are powerful and you don’t want to stop.

If an alien came to Earth and watched what is going on here, it would say that our only interest in life is war-games. Moreover, war defines our life here, and the fact that we could end our existence at the press of a button is no one’s concern as long as we can keep playing.

In the 1950s, Baal HaSulam wrote that if humanity doesn’t understand that we cannot live in such a state indefinitely, that we must shift to a considerate way of life where we are responsible for one another, then more world wars will follow and teach us the hard way. “If the total ruin that [nuclear and hydrogen bombs] are destined to bring upon the world is still not evident to the world, they can wait for a third world war, or a fourth one. The bombs will do their thing, and the relics who remain after the ruin will have no other choice but to take upon themselves this work where both individuals and nations will not work for themselves more than is necessary for their sustenance, while everything else they do will be for the good of others,” he wrote in The Writings of the Last Generation.

In the 1950s, everyone was still in shock by the devastation that Little Boy and Fat Man inflicted on Hiroshima and Nagasaki (respectively). But eighty years down the line, the possibility of another nuclear episode seems increasingly plausible. Those two monster bombs may have shocked the world then, but they are nothing compared to the nuclear arsenal that countries have developed since. Moreover, so many countries already possess nuclear weapons that I am not even sure if or how many of us will survive a nuclear world war.

The options are clear and simple: Unite, or the Earth will explode.

If we consider the level of animosity among nations, ethnicities, cultures, religions, or even among regular people, it seems impossible to unite. But this is so only because we are letting our baleful egos drive us to this state. We can decide to let another attitude drive us, a more responsible and considerate one.

If we think only of ourselves, there is no question that a total collapse is just a matter of time. Now that we are approaching it, we can see where we are going and change course. We can determine that we have learned the lesson and start looking at the needs of the entire society as well as our own.

No one says we need to go hungry or deny ourselves the things we need. But if we all strive to take as much as possible rather than as much as we need, we will end up having nothing.

Caring for the well-being of the collective, as well as for our own, is neither an altruistic approach nor an impractical one. It is, in fact, the only realistic and practical approach. This is the only tactic that will allow us to avoid a war that will destroy humanity.

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My new article on Linkedin “The Odd Link between Antisemitism and Zionism”

In 1929, Dr. Kurt Fleischer, leader of the Liberals in the Berlin Jewish Community Assembly, made a peculiar statement: “Anti-Semitism is the scourge that God has sent us in order to lead us together and weld us together.” Regrettably, the awareness of the linkage between antisemitism and Jewish unity did not percolate into people’s awareness, and the results were horrific. When I was a young man in the former Soviet Union, the government strictly prohibited overt displays of antisemitism. There was no love for Jews in the USSR, but the government knew that antisemitism would scare the Jews and make them want to move to Israel. Since the government did not want to lose Jewish scientists, it prohibited open displays of Jew-hatred. It turns out that antisemitism increases Jewish unity and Zionism.

There is a profound reason that antisemitism is connected to Zionism and Jewish unity. The whole purpose of Judaism is to display unity. The Jewish people achieved nationhood only once they united “as one man with one heart” at the foot of Mt. Sinai. Immediately following, they were told, in singular form since they have become as one: “This day you have become a people” (Deut. 27:9).

The same phenomenon exists today in France, where antisemitism is pervasive. As a result, a record number of French Jews have made Aliyah (migrated to Israel) in recent years. Now, a similar phenomenon is beginning in the United States.

The opposite is also true. When Jews do not feel the world’s hatred, many of them leave Israel and assimilate in countries all over the world, seeking to disengage from their Jewish legacy. It is almost as if antisemitism defines Jews as Jews, and the lack thereof disconnects them from it.

I, too, came to Israel because I felt like a stranger in the Soviet Union, like an outcast, despite being born there. I didn’t experience overt antisemitism, as it was forbidden to do so, but it was always in the background. This is why as soon as I could leave the USSR, I left for Israel. I knew that this would be the only place where I could be a Jew and not have to hide that part of me. Although I was in no way observant or religious, it was still a part of my history, my tradition, and my legacy. Having to conceal it meant having to conceal a part of me, and I did not want that.

Returning to our topic, there is a profound reason that antisemitism is connected to Zionism and Jewish unity. The whole purpose of Judaism is to display unity. The Jewish people achieved nationhood only once they united “as one man with one heart” at the foot of Mt. Sinai. Immediately following, they were told, in singular form since they have become as one: “This day you have become a people” (Deut. 27:9).

Once they became a nation, the Jews were tasked with spreading the light of unity that they had achieved, namely with being “a light unto nations.” Indeed, if we review the pivotal events in Jewish history, it is quite evident that each catastrophe in the chronicles of the Jews comes after an extended period of growing division and internal hatred.

In some cases, as with the ruin of the First and Second Temples, the rift causes an expulsion of the people of Israel from the land of Israel. In other cases, such as that of Queen Esther toward the end of the exile in Babylon, the Jews manage to unite in time, which saves them from extinction and even grants them sovereignty in the land of Israel after having lost it due to their own division.

There are many more notable events in Jewish history where the link between unity and success, or division and calamity, is manifest. I have elaborated on some of them in my publication The Jewish Choice: Unity or Antisemitism; you are welcome to get it and see for yourselves.

Today, there is no Jewish unity. Since the establishment of the State of Israel, we have been growing progressively divided. Currently, the levels of division and hatred among us are reaching dangerous levels, which can lead us to another cataclysm of historic proportions.

While we still have sovereignty, we can reverse the trajectory. Division is certain to lead us to annihilation; unity will surely lead us to prosperity and happiness. Will we resist the lure of righteous indignation and the delight of self-righteousness? I don’t know. What I do know is that if we bite on the bait, it will end our days as a sovereign nation and Jews all over the world will suffer unspeakable torments.
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My new article on Linkedin “Living in a False Reality”

Our default state of mind is that everyone is out to get us, a dog-eat-dog reality. We’re living in constant fear that everyone wants to take advantage of us, abuse and humiliate us, and that if we don’t stand guard, we will be hurt every step of the way. Worse yet, we feel that this is how all of reality works. But if that were the case with all of reality, would cells ever create colonies and form organisms? Would molecules ever join to create organs, would atoms ever join to create molecules? If this were the case, there wouldn’t be life; there wouldn’t even be the universe. There would only be discrete particles existing separately, never creating anything more complex than themselves.

The reality we experience is therefore not the real reality—the one that has created us, sustains us, and allows us to read these lines. In the true reality, everything exists in harmony with everything else, and together, all parts of it create a perfect whole. In the real world, nothing and no one takes more than is needed to sustain oneself, and the system is perfectly harmonious.

As our cells function automatically and form the harmonious organism that is us, so does everything else in nature. The “mindset” of reality is not exploitation, but harmony, and everything and everyone follows it but us, humans.

We are the only element in reality that wants to take for itself more than it needs, that wants to consume and destroy, humiliate and conquer, abuse and patronize, and takes pleasure in hurting others. Because we think and act this way, we think that everyone thinks and acts that way, as well. And because we live by that premise, we have created a foul world after our own foul image.

But there is a good reason why we were created so malicious. Striving to emerge from this distressing state will lead us to understand how all of reality truly operates. We have been denied the natural instincts that drive all creations to harmony precisely so as to develop this harmony of our own volition and through our own consciousness. We are made ugly precisely in order to be able to choose beauty.

The difference between operating in harmony with all of creation instinctively or consciously is as the difference between being a part of an organism and being the mind that governs the organism and directs its actions. The destiny of humanity is to become that mind, that consciousness.

To get there, we need to start practicing harmonious relationships instead of following our inherent, exploitative nature. To achieve this, it is imperative that we realize that we are living in a false reality, that the true reality is harmonious and complete, and that it is only our flawed perception of it that prevents us from seeing the truth, and living in that perfect world.
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My new article on Linkedin “Simchat Torah: The Cause for Joy Unlocked”

The recent failed intent of U.S. progressive lawmakers to reduce defense aid to Israel and the upcoming UN commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the antisemitic Durban Conference underscore yet again Israel and Jews being singled out for criticism around the world.

The global attention we are receiving, negative though it is, is our opportunity to be “a light unto nations.” Therefore, the celebration of Simchat Torah (Rejoicing of the Torah) this year has a special significance. It is a window of opportunity to show the world a way toward the light that our forefathers discovered many centuries ago; the path they intended to share with the world.

We only need to practice this simple method of unity between ourselves. Our example is all the world needs for it to realize that there is an alternative to hatred and conflict and that the people of Israel are leading the way toward it.

The High Holy Days represent the process of transformation from our being receivers to givers. At its conclusion, on the day of Simchat Torah, we celebrate the success of this predestined shift. This celebration lets us all reflect on the kind of individuals that we are and the society that we have become. Even if we find that we are not as pure as we would like to be, there is reason for rejoicing because acknowledging the truth is the first step toward change.

“Torah” is from the Hebrew word for “instruction” (“Hora’a”). It is written, “I created the evil inclination, I created the Torah, a spice.” The Torah is the light that corrects the desire, i.e., the positive force of nature that connects us above our egoism. Simchat Torah represents the final correction of this desire where we connect boundlessly to each other and to nature. This complete correction is the cause of the joy (Simcha).

The Book of Zohar (Teruma) writes that the “Torah is light, and one who engages in Torah is rewarded with the light.” The light that The Zohar speaks of is a creative force that engenders all that exists. Similar to The Zohar, the ARI writes in Tree of Life: “Know, that before the emanations were emanated and the creatures were created, the upper simple light had filled the whole of reality.” This light, the ARI continues, “emanated, created, formed, and made all the worlds.”

The light works according to a very simple principle: bestowal. This quality of giving created everything around us, the entire universe with us within it. When we study our universe—the galaxies, planets, plants, animals, and even ourselves—we are actually studying manifestations of this light.

Simchat Torah celebrates the happiness of one who succeeds in acquiring the quality of the Torah (light): complete and absolute benevolence. “The inclination of man’s heart is evil from his youth,” and “every inclination of the thoughts of [man’s] heart was only evil,” the Torah tells us in Genesis.

When we are born, we are completely opposite from giving, from the light. Most of us are content with and even oblivious to our self-centered nature. But when this nature becomes detrimental to ourselves and to others, it forces us to look for other alternatives. This is the situation in our world today.

Despite the apparent difficulty, there is a paved and proven way to achieve the transformation that we need to undertake. You cannot give in the way needed when you’re alone, you need like-minded people with whom you can “practice” giving. Through such practice together, you fashion a sustainable and prosperous society of givers that has acquired the light’s quality of benevolence.

The necessity to become givers in order to establish a thriving society is the underlying impetus behind the age-old Jewish emphasis on love of others. “Love your neighbor as yourself,” “as one man with one heart,” and “that which you hate, do not do unto others” were not intended as moral principles, but as practical tools to create a society whose members have acquired the quality of giving, or, put differently, a society that rejoices with the Torah.

We constantly succumb to our innate nature and mutual hatred erupts. Yet, although we may not be aware of it, we have the remedy to our plight: just practice giving above our egoism and thereby heal it. The book Maor Vashemesh stated two hundred years ago that “The thing upon which everything depends is love and brotherhood among the sons of Israel, for when there are peace, love, brotherhood, and friendship among them, they can receive the Torah.”

Then joy comes indeed, as it is written: “Joy is a reflection of good deeds.” Good deeds are the deeds of bestowal.

This is because the Torah is the force that is ready to correct hatred and separation between us and transform them into connection and love, which is the discovery called “Simchah” (happiness). With it a person senses within himself the entire vast expanse around him, and gains an eternal, whole, and happy life.
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My new article on Linkedin “The Vicious Circle of Domestic Violence”

Domestic violence is widespread and seemingly unstoppable. In America, one in four women will experience violence by their partners within their lifetime, according to a new report published by The New England Journal of Medicine. The U.S. nationwide media attention on the killing of a young woman, Gabby Petito, in Wyoming, in which her partner was named a person of interest, put the issue of abusive relationships in the spotlight again. Crimes could be prevented through the right education from an early age.

Unfortunately, this is just one of many cases reported worldwide every day amidst too many that go unregistered. Globally, around one in three—a staggering 736 million women—have been victims of violence in their life perpetrated by their boyfriends or husbands, based on UN statistics.

Humiliation, teasing, bullying, threats and cursing, are common forms of verbal abuse within the family. Emotional violence takes quiet forms as well: disconnection, thunderous silences, and disregard for extended periods. There are many shades and expressions of violent communication between couples, and when these become a recurrent situation at home, it usually has dire consequences. How can this phenomenon be dealt with?

Let’s start with the schools. Most institutions are geared towards imparting knowledge and education to children, but this falls far short of preparing a young person for life. The most important lesson to learn is how to behave in relationships, in the workplace, anywhere. This is especially true at a time when so many social frameworks have broken down and young people grow up without good examples to relate to and against which they can measure themselves.

As a result of the lack of intention and focus on how to build good relationships, many families experience a hostile and violent atmosphere. Children who grow up in such homes suffer from high levels of insecurity. As they grow up and build families of their own, sometimes they want to build a fundamentally different environment. However, often they end up recreating the same violent patterns so familiar to them from their past. They realize that they are repeating the same mistakes, but find they lack the strength to change.

The patterns of behavior we observed in our childhood accompany us throughout life, so it is only natural that we replicate them. Therefore, it is critical that society provides every person with courses and educational systems that will empower people to create the right relationship patterns. Such patterns need to be fixed deeply within a person to stop outbursts and eruptions of anger before harm is done.

The most important principle to teach in building relationships is the principle of equality. This principle is set against the internal willfulness that underlies all violent communication, the will of a person to control others.

In order to illustrate what is meant by this principle of equality, let’s say I want to build a good relationship between me and my partner, with mutual communication, deep connection and great love. From this point on, we both must strive with all our might to be equal. As a practical exercise, we agree that whatever I do to my partner, he or she will do the same to me, for better and for worse. We agree to mirror each other.

From the way we talk, look, react to each other in every matter and interaction, we will try to learn from this exercise how our partner is trying to treat us well. And even though it goes against our egoism and costs us a great deal of effort, it is worth showing that we are striving to transcend our egoistic instinct in order to form a good mutual bond, because it will also oblige our partner to do the same.

As part of the couple training on applying the principle of equality, we will function towards each other like a mirror. If we each immediately try to copy the behaviors of our partners and reflect them like a mirror, by doing so we help each other feel how our treatment impacted the other, spot what else we need to correct ourselves, and improve. This is a feedback mechanism, a response that exists in both technological systems and the surrounding natural systems for the purpose of maintaining balance and completion.

If we learn to build such a mechanism in our relationship and we both agree to mirror each other, then even if one treats the other badly, a reflective response will immediately come from the partner that will cause him or her to rectify direction. Gradually we will begin to perceive that the good treatment we want to receive from our partners, we first need to demonstrate towards them.

That’s the way we build one another and create an egalitarian relationship. As we advance in this work, instead of the egoistic impulses that rise within us driving our relationship in a violent, coercive and destructive direction, we will be able to shape our surrounding environment and build a home where only good patterns will be instilled in our offspring and throughout society.
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