Entries in the 'Love' Category

A Person Sleeps, The Work Continues

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: How does Kabbalah view what we experience while we sleep?

Answer: All of the time when a person is not engaged in inner work and does not exert effort to unify with the group in order to discover the Creator is deleted from his or her life.

But the more effectively we use the time to form a correct intention during our waking hours, the more sleeping hours we will be able to add to it as well. Suppose one hour a day, or 10% of all the time that I am awake, I was thinking about intention and making an effort, then the same 10% of the night time is deposited in my “account” as my efforts.

But the dreaming itself is only the consequence of our daily thoughts. During the night time, all of them must be sorted out, “filed,” and “stored” in the archive of our brain. Therefore, the brain works during the night while we sleep as well, but it processes the data it received during the day. As a result, we see various dreams that partially reflect the experiences and events we had incurred while awake, and part of them is totally abstract, being a product of our unrestricted fantasy.

But there is nothing spiritual about our dreams. All animals also see dreams, not just humans.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/25/2011, Writings of Rabash

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The Exactly Opposite Calculation

Dr. Michael LaitmanWhile researching nature, we study many phenomena that take place in front of us and inside of us. To bring them to a common denominator, we can say that any species and any part in nature takes care of its own existence. And the more it takes care of itself, the higher is the level of its development. That is how the vegetative level of nature originated from the still level of nature, and the animate level came from the vegetative, and man came from the animate level of nature.

We understand from the science of Kabbalah that this did not happen by itself, but by means of Reshimot, the “developmental genes” that are successively realized one after another within the framework of the initially fixed model.

All of this exists inside the aspiration for self-benefit. The program instilled in all of nature’s elements places one task before us: What should I do to feel good? Be it realization of evil, conscious progress toward goodness, force, speed, connection, feeling, or mind: According to its potential, every species aspires to goodness and detaches from evil. That is our nature.

On the still, vegetative, and animate levels this nature is a "one way street”—urging us to act directly for our own benefit. But on the human level there is one more special action. Man is able to feel the neighbor, and therefore, he is willing to give something to his neighbor with the expectation of later receiving reward and pleasure. We have learned different ways to use the neighbor which don’t exist on lower levels.

On the still, vegetative, and animate levels there is only reception. But man also knows how to bestow to the neighbor in order to receive benefit for himself. Moreover, interaction with the neighbor is meant to eventually bring him much more benefit than regular reception. Otherwise he is simply unable to receive anything directly. But one way or another, in both cases, he acts for his own sake.

In principle, direct reception is a primate method for man. As a child grows up, he receives upbringing whereby we teach him to interact with the world, and usually that means learning how to use the neighbor in a way that avoids being harmed and that enables him to receive self-benefit at the end. This is human upbringing. If things are the way they are, then it’s best to take the neighbor into account. After all, often we wish to simply take, conquer, and steal without leaving a trace behind.

That is how our world is and that is why we only perceive what we receive inside of us. Our desire is limited and eventually it brings us to feelings of emptiness and despair.

But there is also another, opposite possibility—bestowal, where the tendency is away from myself, upwards, towards the neighbor, as well as away from myself, downwards toward myself, and then upwards toward the neighbor. In the first case I bestow for the sake of bestowal (Bina, Hafetz Hesed), and in the second case I receive for the sake of bestowal (the degree of love). This is called an exactly opposite calculation and it only exists in a human being.

Thus, we have two possibilities: reception with auxiliary bestowal or bestowal with auxiliary reception.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/23/11 on Global Education

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No More Strokes

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: We are made to receive the good, the enjoyment. Why then must we feel the pain of others? After all, if I suffer the pain of all mankind, I’ll have a stroke.

Answer: Do you think that a mother doesn’t wish to know her child’s pain in order to learn what’s wrong with him or her? Love makes her feel what her child lacks.

And any lack is pain, after all. I can feel pain because I don’t have a life or just because I crave some sweets. One way or the other, if you love, you wish to feel what someone you love is lacking so that you can give him or her what they need and enjoy doing so.

Obviously, we are not talking about catastrophes, the co-experiencing of which would certainly earn a stroke. Imagine this: Thousands of your offspring are dead, and hundreds of thousands are destitute. You won’t be able to bear it. And hence, this kind of empathy is revealed to us gradually.

In truth, although it’s impossible to explain it at the moment, if you could really love them right now, you would be able to see that they are all fine. Having found the love, you would reform the perception of reality according to your new, spiritual desires.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/18/2011 on The Principles of Global Education

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The Place Where The Creator Doesn’t Dwell

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: In one of your lectures you said that a person must add the Creator to his list of friends. What does that mean in our spiritual work?

Answer: If you ask psychologists, they can tell you about what happens to a young couple who has recently gotten married. When they start living together, after the honeymoon period is over, there comes a period of mutual complaints, dissatisfaction, tension, and conflicts, and now they have to work really hard in order to continue living together.

These periods can be long or short, and this depends entirely on the example they saw in their parent’s home. At this time, a young couple needs advice from psychologists or parents to help them connect on the basis of mutual respect and compromise, instead of love.

They have to learn how to avoid pressing each other’s buttons, which cause the conflicts between them while they remain inside theirs egos and are egoistically attached to their partner. This is what happens in our daily life. However, this approach doesn’t work in our spiritual development.

While advancing in spirituality, a person does have to look for these points of tension and make them visible instead of concealing them because “the Torah will come out” precisely from these points. If a person views them correctly, wishing to discern and utilize them in order to reform himself, then instead of demanding something else, he strives to attain his own inner evil.

This is possible only when a person walks along with the Creator, as if holding onto His hand, as it is written, “Come unto Pharaoh with me!” One has to discern this Pharaoh, this evil within, and then tame and reform it, unify with it, and flee from it. But while working with the evil, a person must always be bound to the goal and use the Creator’s force.

All conflicts, arguments, and tensions can be revealed between the friends in the group only on the condition that they strive for unity, if they make efforts to come together. Only then will they see that they hate one another and don’t have any desire to be one. Therefore, they must bring the Creator into it so He may reform this hate. After all, it is the Creator who shows man where his evil resides. This is the place where He doesn’t dwell, the place without Light.
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From the lesson on 2/25/11, Writings of Rabash

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Primordial Fear

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe first commandment that was given to us is the commandment of fear. This means fearing whether I am advancing down the spiritual path, whether I am acquiring the spiritual world, whether I understand what I read the right way, and whether I really act in the group.

In short: Will I succeed? I have to be consumed with this worry all the time. If I relax, then I immediately get off the track leading to the goal.

In our world, psychology enumerates over 800 kinds of fear. Do I earn enough? Am I healthy? Will something bad happen to me?

However, in Kabbalah, we are not talking about derived fears, but the primordial fear: Am I going toward the goal? Will I be able to bestow? This is already worry for something for which I don’t feel the slightest need.

Will I feel this need? Will I acquire it sufficiently in order to make efforts and aim toward the goal? I have to carry out an entire process: from the smallest worry that isn’t even clear yet, to full fledged fear aimed precisely at the goal like an arrowhead, which brings me to the realization, “Do I sufficiently give to the Creator? Do we become equal in this way? Am I not in a lower position, like a guest who receives the host’s feast in a way that he isn’t ashamed?”

This fear is the first commandment. But it is something we have to acquire. We do not have it initially. The goal is invisible and I don’t care about the quality of bestowal. Do I really need love for the neighbor? But I have to come to need it to such a degree so as to feel fear, “What if I don’t attain it?”

This is simply an outrage from the perspective of egoism. It’s completely unnatural.

However, by means of the environment and the Light that reforms, we can attain this. Fear helps us attain the worry: Will I receive the Light so it will turn me into a person who worries about bestowal?”

Therefore, we are yet to go through a big process of building the necessary conditions. However, in reality it is possible to actualize it simply. In this regard everything depends on the extent of the efforts we make.

First of all, I have to really be scared for my spiritual path. “Am I advancing toward the goal correctly?” Secondly, only once I acquire fear does the quality of love come to me because there is no love without fear.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbaah Lesson 3/4/11 on Love

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Is There Love In This World?

Dr. Michael LaitmanWhat is love in our corporeal world? It is an “animalistic,” material, egoistic love which enables us to enjoy one another. Parents instinctively love their children, and children instinctively love their parents, to the extent that they both receive what is desired from each other. And all this is filled with an egoistic intention.

Dampen the maternal instinct of a mother towards her own child and she will treat him the same as other children. He may as well starve, she will not care. This means that the parents’ feelings are an instinct and not love.

Love between sexes is caused by hormones. Inject a person with a certain compound, and his love will suddenly disappear, or on the contrary, awaken out of nowhere. This refers to a hormonal attraction.

All of this pertains to the animate level, and no more than that. Geneticists and biologists can explain the reasons for this in detail. But we naturally praise this feeling and attribute it a spiritual essence only because we receive the most pleasure from it, and accordingly, we want to elevate it in our eyes.

Moreover, there can be extreme love which causes a lot of damage. This is because when there are no limits to love, when it is devoid of tremor, it leads to hatred. When somebody loves me, I need to ensure that I do not allow them to love me too much, and they must ensure the same. Everything needs to have a true measure and proper weight. When love “overflows the boundaries,” it nullifies me, and then I begin to hate the person who loves me, I reject him or her.

We see this in the example of parents and children: The extreme love for a child causes disdain and hatred within him. And the child is not to blame; it is the adult’s fault since he does not limit his love, which means that he does not have a screen to go with it. We always must control the extent of our interaction. We will only be able to acquire “unlimited” screens in the world of Infinity, at the end of correction.

So, there is no point in speaking about love in our world as we only use one another as per usual. There is no need to reject or despise it, this is our life. For example, partners live together and take care of one another for many years. However, it is necessary to draw a distinction: Ultimately, I do it as a habit which becomes my second nature, out of desire and the egoistic impulses that awaken in me and become fulfilled by it.

But love in the spiritual world is absolute bestowal.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/4/2011 on Love

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Freedom Is Born From Love

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: What is the middle third of Sefira Tifferet and why is it called free?

Answer: It’s as if it doesn’t exist by itself. As Baal HaSulam says, it exists only as the place over which Klipa and holiness fight.

This is the place where a person experiences himself and his independence. It is where he has his inner struggle and doubts: what to identify himself with, the upper or the lower? This is called the middle third of Tifferet, the place of free choice.

Question: What is this part made of? And how does freedom of choice become revealed there if this part is influenced by the upper one or the lower one, depending on whom it identifies itself with? Then where is the independence?

Answer: That is how the place of freedom is arranged for a person from Above. This is not confusion or lack of clarity the way freedom in our world refers to the absence of precise knowledge of what to identify yourself with. Rather, in the middle third of Tifferet it is absolutely clear to me what the quality of bestowal is above and what the quality of reception is below. I am in the middle, and this middle is all of me. That is to say, all of my reality is the middle part of Tifferet.

Wherever I am under the influence of the upper one or the lower one, I feel their influence, meaning I feel them and do not relate this to myself. But in the middle third of Tifferet I reveal the full HaVaYaH, myself. This part contains the full ten Sefirot, the discernments of the entire Partzuf.

If I want to attain the upper one, then I ascend to the upper part, and if I want to attain the lower one, then I descend to the lower part. But who am I? This is the middle part of Tifferet, like a thin layer between the upper and the lower. Yet, in reality it is not thin.

The middle third of Tifferet comes from the fact that in the four phases of the expansion of direct Light, Bina decided that it desires not to receive, but to become similar to the upper one, and to do that it has to attain bestowal. However, it cannot attain bestowal because its matter, the will to enjoy, does not change. In order to make it seemingly bestowing, it has to receive for the sake of bestowal. That is, it uses the Giver’s force of love.

Without the force of the Giver’s love for me, I cannot transform my reception to bestowal to Him. But if I know that He loves me and I plan to receive from Him only for that reason, then I use the force of His love. At first I have to reveal His love, and inside of it to reveal my reception, and then to receive from Him only in order to show Him my love.

From the same field where the second phase (of the four phases of the expansion of direct Light) makes the decision, that is where our notion of the middle third of Tifferet is born, in which creation feels free to make decisions.
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From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/2/11, The Zohar

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How Much Does Love Cost?

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Throughout all of history money brought about wars between governments and inside families. So how can it be used to connect people?

Answer: Everything depends on how money is used. If I want to fulfill my egoism, then I need money. But if I want to use my egoism to fulfill others, then I need an anti-egoistic screen, a “covering” for egoism such as money.

Money is an indicator of my power, the force of the screen. Thus, wars aren’t fought because of money, but because of egoism.

Besides, you can’t buy everything with money, although you can buy almost everything. Even in our world there are qualities relating to the root of the soul which cannot be bought, such as a special connection between people or a special aptitude that comes from the root of the soul (such as talent in music, art, or literature).

Qualities that we receive from nature cannot be bought with money. The things we have to add ourselves with our efforts, including the relationships between people and love, are also very difficult to buy.

Sometimes we confuse money with efforts. But it is impossible to simply pay and buy a certain attitude. The things belonging to nature, which we receive from the Creator and have to return to Him, are impossible to conquer egoistically, and our paper money also won’t help here.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/1/11, Lesson on Money

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Egoism And Love

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Can pleasure that one gets from spirituality be egoistic?

Answer: It surely can. Spirituality is love and bestowal. I’m willing to bestow to you and love you if it’s going to benefit me. And if not, then why should I? This is called Klipa (shell), and this is corporeality, not spirituality.

Each one of us is able to love in this way. I love my kids because they are mine. But if they are not mine, I have no regard for them. I can love someone if my well-being depends on them, but if it doesn’t, I don’t need them. In other words, I love and invest because I receive a personal benefit from it. However, this isn’t love and bestowal; this is using others.

Love and bestowal described by the wisdom of Kabbalah has nothing to do with receiving for one’s sake. I simply love in order to benefit the other person. This is even greater than our love for our children because we love our kids instinctively.

I must reach the kind of love of a fellow man that doesn’t benefit my egoism. But if my egoism receives something from this love, it’s not love: I simply love myself and fulfill myself in a round about way. Hence, it is all defined by my intention. But how can I check myself?

I have to rise to the kind of love where I’m only concerned about a fellow human being, not about myself. It’s something we must know because nature will force us to attain this level. According to the program of creation, we must become similar to the Creator. The Creator is good and does good without any regard for Himself. He desires to fulfill us and this is called love.

How can we draw closer to this state? My current intention can only be corrected by the Light that Reforms. It created my egoism and now it can lift me above it, perform a miracle: take me out of Egypt. When I ascend, I begin to correct myself.

This Light can only be sensed by studying the wisdom of Kabbalah. While reading The Book of Zohar, a person begins to notice it acting upon him. The study itself contains a force that transforms him. It is said in this regard: “I created the evil inclination, and I gave the Torah for its correction, the Light that brings one back to the good.” This is why the wisdom of Kabbalah is being revealed in our time and is becoming available to everyone.
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From a TV program “Ask the Kabbalist” 4/4/2010

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