Question: What is an integral family or an integral relationship in a family?

Answer: When it comes to an integrated family, ideally, from the earliest years, literally from the cradle, it is necessary to prepare children to interact properly with each other. Parents need to understand that they must educate the child so that he will become an integral member of society, and then it will be good, easy, and secure. But first, you need to educate the parents in this spirit, and then this chain will continue since everyone is interconnected with each other, especially in a family.

I think that those people who didn’t receive an integral education, but have created a family and plan to have children, should begin to take at least a short course, which afterward will be supported regularly by weekly lessons and training via TV, via the computer. This should be mandatory.

After all, a woman during pregnancy inspects all kinds of advice. Therefore, if once a week she comes with her husband to an integral education course, it would be good for the family, also for the connection to her husband, and afterward for the education of the child as well.

If we introduce this education, then we will receive a completely different generation, both according to the quality and also according to the rest of the pyramid. The integral education of the child is latent in the family and afterward we need to naturally continue it in kindergarten, in school, and even in the workplace or schools where every person has the opportunity to take short integral courses, and afterward to simply be in some supportive structure.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/8/12

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An integral family is the system of bringing people closer to each other. This is not just an ordinary relationship of two people who do not have integral knowledge and who begin to interact at a natural, animal level that subsequently leads to their marriage.

Indeed, in that case, they do not understand why they want to be together. It is possible that, if they had learned more about each other, they would have understood that, in principle, they do not match each other.

It is not for nothing that fortune telling is so popular nowadays. We do not really know how to approach each other. People are turning to psychologists, to healers, and to all sorts of techniques. In the old days, grannies and nannies explained all that quietly, and that was enough.

Today, with our developed ego, in our spoiled society, we certainly need support and training so that we can learn how to interact with each other correctly, and, in general, to understand whether we can become partners. The institution of marriage is now crashing and going deep “underwater,” dissolving so that only memories of it remain; it is a consequence of that fact that we are running integral education and upbringing in the family circle.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/18/12

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Question: Should we prepare those who now are taking the course in integral education to become instructors?

Answer: Absolutely! The method of changing a person must serve all of humanity. Everyone who understands, knows, and knows how to teach this method will be viewed as a public treasure.

They will be needed at any enterprise, in manufacturing, government, school, and family, as family counselors, psychologists, and so on. People will need them.

That is why we just need to educate instructors from our friends who are studying both Kabbalah and the method of integral education. They are the foundation, the source through which the upper force will act on the entire world.

People will feel this. Each person will be worth his weight in gold. He will be appreciated greatly and be extremely popular. That is why we must prepare them as teachers, tutors of integral education, and for all ages, for both men and women.
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From a Fundamentals of Kabbalah Lesson 7/15/12

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Question: You have suddenly stopped writing about the economic state of the world, is it a sign of the condition being so bad that the patient is not told anything?

Answer: It is partially true, and partly because it is so clearly evident that the world is in crisis, about which I was talking 20 years ago, that it is time to stop talking about the obvious.

Kabbalists have reached the finals. What they said about the program of our natural development is already manifested in the world, and unfortunately, in a bad way.

But it is still possible to change everything to the better, quickly and easily, within a few weeks, subject to the acceptance of the system of integral education and upbringing as mandatory for everyone. Otherwise, as Kabbalah indicates, under the impact of every possible kind of suffering, we are facing the inevitable “fall” of humankind up to open cannibalism.
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Apparently, it is only natural that people today cannot get along. Nature has prepared an opportunity for us to coexist and live together, provided that we understand from the beginning that we enter into family life in order to rise above our nature, and that is what will help us succeed in everything and prepare us to enter into the world revealed before us now.

The family, married life, will become the school that prepares us for life. As a little child, brought up and taught in kindergarten, in the family, and at school is prepared to live in a large, adult world, so today, at home, in the family and marital relationships, we prepare ourselves to enter a new life.

There is no other framework that would be so natural and adapted to this purpose. If you explained this to all of humanity—which is in a ruined, torn state and sees so little happiness and joy in the family—then everyone would see the benefits of family life, and this would encourage people to marry.

After all, today, no matter whom you talk to, you would hear that people initially do not want to start a family, or they have tried to create it, became disappointed, and are on the verge of divorce. That is why we must explain to a person that, in such a way, through correcting the life in his family, he will achieve life in the corrected world, and without this, there is no way to reach a good life.

It is no accident that, in all ancient cultures and societies throughout the millennial history of humankind, the family has occupied such a huge and lasting place. Only in recent years has family life suddenly become destroyed. This is one of the signs that we have reached a condition that is obliging us to correct it ourselves.

We have never corrected the human being. We corrected our environment, society, and nature, building all kinds of support systems and developing technology, but today, we have evolved so much that we need not continue to improve it. This will not help us and will change nothing. Now, it has come to people themselves, and thus, today the family is collapsing.

In the old days, in many cases, unmarried people often were not accepted in responsible positions, including the studies of Kabbalah, but only those who lived a corrected family life because then they had to correct themselves constantly in this small internal laboratory and from this, the requirement stemmed.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/11/12

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Question: How can we maintain the connection that we have achieved during the process of integral education?

Answer: We constantly need to maintain the state of unity of people. In no case should we stop training people because they cannot just take a course in integral education and end there. They will see that they need this. They will feel it as the source of life force.

That is why we don’t need to force them. They will attend the courses in integral education with pleasure. The same circles certainly will appear on the Internet, television, and so on. In general, we will come to a state where this will become a necessary public action just to behave correctly and correctly relate to the world. This is general re-education.

In addition, we are now in a state of crisis when millions of people are becoming unemployed. Everything gradually is collapsing, falling apart. All social, family, commercial, and industrial relations—I am not even mentioning banking and economic relations—all these will gradually unravel, and then people will see that the source of life, understanding the processes where they are and how they can escape from all troubles is in integral unity. That is, they will feel and recognize unity, not as some relief or psychological workshop, but as the transition from the current state of the world to the next.
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From a Fundamentals of Kabbalah Lesson 7/15/12

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The closest connection that exists in each of our lives is the connection within the family, between the husband and wife. But it doesn’t matter how much we might want, it is impossible to give any miraculous prescriptions or instantly applicable advice of what to do in order to settle relations in the family.

Once in the past, it was possible, but today it doesn’t work anymore. Today, what is needed is that a person, first of all, corrects his general relation to life, to himself, and the people around him, his relation to the world he lives in. Only after the course of integral education, after the development of consciousness and the grasping of the new world inside him, to the “new person” that develops in him, will it be easy to build new systems of good relationships. In this way, he will transform his life to happiness and be rid of all the problems he is surrounded with today.

One must build educational systems that will mold the person. And then, to the extent that the person changes, he will begin to build proper and corrected relations with others, including the marital relationship. For this reason, this subject doesn’t only belong to married couples, but also to single people. They also feel that they aren’t settled, that they don’t fit in within the family framework.

First of all, we must understand that divorce doesn’t solve any problems and it is worthwhile for us to build a completely new system of relations. It isn’t possible to continue as usual and to hope that everything will work out differently in the new family. You can be sure that there will be the same problems.

It is exactly for this reason that people today don’t want to get married, since already in advance they assume that their attempt won’t be successful. It looks like a natural phenomenon. Why would a person resign himself to trouble he sees in advance? We see how many problems an unsuccessful marriage can bring, ending in divorce, and how much the ruined relationships of people who are close to us costs in terms of money, health, time, and nerves.

Thus a person abstains in advance from building a family. We see this tendency everywhere. In all countries, there is a similar picture. Thus, before one builds a new person, it is impossible to talk about building a system of relations for couples.

Once it was possible to repair them with the help of talks with a psychologist, with certain affirmations. Man’s ego still wasn’t as big as it is today when he doesn’t agree to any compromises. And man isn’t to blame, he simply is not able to agree.

We have developed to a situation where a person wants to stay a child all his life or to be completely free and allowed to do anything. He doesn’t want to commit or limit himself to anything. He expects his wife to be like a mother and to excuse him for everything and not to demand anything from him, but to flood him in an ocean of love, no matter how he behaves.

Usually, this relationship is typical of men. However, also women have changed their relation to marriage and even if there are children, they aren’t afraid to change husbands or to become and remain single.

It’s a wonder, but today a woman with a child is able to build a new family quickly and receive much more than a woman without children. Men don’t see someone else’s child as an obstacle to marriage. Surprising they don’t rush to and aren’t interested in having children of their own, but they are ready to marry a woman with a child. He doesn’t see any obstacle in this. This phenomenon is certainly prominent in our times.

In years past, on the contrary, a woman with a child, after a divorce, found it very hard to remarry. It was only seldom that someone would agree to take a woman with a child. Each one wanted to have children of his own. This means that there are a number of phenomena that are characteristic of our time that we need to take into account.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/18/12

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Question: The integral education courses for couples give me hope that by going through this process and building a new man within me, I will correct not only the relationships within my family, but also all the connections in the system and achieve success in every way. After all, the system of family ties will become the school through which I will be developing. Are there any differences in how this process takes place in a man and a woman?

Answer: It turns out that we should keep the family together because through it we can achieve success in life. We not only correct the relations within the family, but also obtain an additional benefit, as if this whole process has a higher purpose.

It’s not the problem of a married couple, but the global problem of corrupted connection between all of us, and we’ll have to solve it in some way. The relationships in the family may become the laboratory within which we can learn how to improve our relations with the world to succeed in everything.

There are some differences between how this process takes place in a man or a woman, but they are so internal that we can’t understand them now, everyone from his or her side, looking at the other. If we begin to delve into the psychology of the other and try to figure out what is going on inside another person, it will only confuse us. We don’t know what is really happening there.

We just need to acquire the correct approach that will allow us to build relationships with each other according to the principle: “Love covers all transgressions.” And this doesn’t mean that we want to hide the wrongdoings committed in relation to each other: our hatred, pride, ambition, carelessness, and disregard. We don’t hide anything.

But if I want to change something and build, I shouldn’t sink into mutual fights and blame of how much each of us is an egoist, meaning how bad he is and doesn’t notice his evil, but sees it in his partner. In fact, he doesn’t see another’s vices, but rather his own egoism, transferring it to his partner and recognizing his reflection in it.

Instead of distinguishing faults in myself, I see them in my spouse as if in a mirror. I don’t notice this in myself. It turns out that we need to develop a good, positive attitude, love, flexibility, attention, and a mature elevated approach in relation to the other. We need to agree in advance that it will be above all that we see with our egoistic eyesight.

“Love will cover all transgressions,” that is, I cover all the evils that I see with it. As a result of mutual exercises and workshops, I start to develop new good qualities in myself that before were dormant within me: sensitivity, agreement, consent, and ability to compromise.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/18/12

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Opinion (Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. American writer and family counselor):

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

My Comment: All current research confirms the findings of thousands of years of Kabbalah, that the formation of a person is completely determined by the environment, the environment in which he grows.
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Question: Should we aim towards the preparation of versatile experts on integral methodology, or should the preparation of people be according to the cultural characteristics of each country?

Answer: I think not. The general system is very simple: rejecting what we have now and training in order to rise above it to unity.

After we rise to unity, based on it, we continue to exist on its level. We don’t descend downwards. We have risen, connected together into something integral; we feel warmth in it, kindness, reciprocity, support, mutual guarantee, and now we swim on this level, on this warm wave. Based on that, we will solve all questions. We will understand that all of the questions arise only for us to unite more strongly on this wave and to rise higher thereby. Each connection is an ascent.

And then we’ll see that all of our past problems were not problems; rather, they were unsolved due to our lack of understanding—the unsolved urges towards unity. But now we have united and that’s why we don’t need to solve them. And everything that will emerge in us tomorrow, let’s solve it every time only based on our common integral force—how to rise above all problems ever more.

It will then be unimportant what mentality, people, or nations and cultures will be uniting into this. They may even tell each other about their distinctive qualities: how I look at the world, how you do, how he does, and how each one experiences these problems. After all, in the end, humanity must come together into one united image, into a single unified human! That’s why we do not need to prepare separate experts for each culture.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 5/31/12

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