Also, we were given the path of faith, which is above reason, namely not to take our sensations and reason into account, but say, as it is written, “They have eyes and see not. They have ears and hear not.” Rather, we should believe that the Creator is certainly the Overseer and He knows what is good for me and what is not good for me. Therefore, He wants me to feel my state as I do (Rabash, Article 3, ”The Meaning of Truth and Faith”).

Our feelings always come directly from the Creator. He wants me to feel and understand things in a specific way. Everything comes solely from Him.

And for myself, I do not care how I feel myself, good or bad, because I want to work in order to bestow, meaning to rise above my personal or, one might say, egoistic feelings.

Therefore, the main thing is that I need to work for the Creator, justify Him in everything, and reach a state where any condition I perceive as good.

And although I feel that there is no wholeness in my work, meaning I cannot completely justify Him or say that I perceive Him as “Good that does good,” nor can I say that He governs everything, as sometimes it seems to me that the earth is entirely handed over to the power of evil people, wicked thoughts, and forces, still, if I am drawn into the vessels of the upper one, attempting to enter the Creator’s qualities, then in the Kelim of the upper one, meaning from the perspective of the upper one, I am utterly complete.

In essence, the Creator sees us in a state of perfection, as He sees everything in existence. The intermediate states we are currently going through are regarded by Him as we regard a child who breaks something, gets dirty, or makes mistakes, they are growing pains.

As it is written, “The cast out will not be cast out from Him.” Hence, I am satisfied with my work—that I have the privilege of serving the King even at the lowest degree. That, too, I regard as a great privilege.

In other words, I do not measure the level I am on, whether it is greater or lesser, or whether I deserve more than I currently receive. My only desire is for the Creator to allow me to come closer to Him.

The reward, therefore, is not about attaining a level where I can see, understand, feel, or be fulfilled, but rather about being able to bestow, to fill others, and through them, bestow to the Creator.
[339184]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/4/19, Preparation for convention in Moldova “The Work in Concealment”

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