Question: How can a person come to a desire to engage in study Lishma?

Answer: Let us say that yesterday, I felt worthless, far from the Creator, that I was just wasting my time, that my life had no meaning, and that I would die just as I was born. In short, all these sensations existed within my desire to receive. Essentially, I had no goal in life.

But today, I remembered that there is a Creator, and if I am connected to Him, everything will be fine. So I need to establish a connection with Him.

How can I do that? They say there is no other way to grasp Him except to study and think about Him while studying. There is a certain source or force above that will bring me closer to Him, and in this way I will gain something. The upper light will come, the heavens will open, and I will gain something good.

So I held on to this thought, this intention; I came to the lesson, I am sitting here and thinking about how using the lesson as a remedy will give me what I want: a spiritual life, closeness to the Creator, everything great.

Why did I come to study before? I thought that if I simply studied the material, I would learn how to control the heavens and my fate. Now I understand that knowledge will not let me reach or feel the upper world, that can happen only help from above when the light comes and opens my eyes. I need this light; so I come and study. This is the beginning of Lo Lishma.

Then I come to a greater Lo Lishma when I start thinking only of my own benefit, but suddenly realize that even when I feel very pleasant and keep receiving constantly, it still does not bring me pleasure. There is a greater pleasure, more eternal, without shame and without the feeling that something is wrong. This pleasure comes when I bestow, or at least when I do not feel my ego, my evil.

Before this, it felt like I was drifting aimlessly, but now I want to stop thinking about myself, to disconnect from the self, and in doing so, disconnect from various problems. This is what I study for.

Then thoughts come: what does it mean to be disconnected from oneself? What is the purpose of this? What do I want to have? I desire something eternal and perfect. Who is He, the Creator? If I enter His presence, everything will be good in every respect. So here I am already establishing a connection with the Creator. Is it Lishma or Lo Lishma? Of course, Lo Lishma! It is for myself, so that I feel good. But I already want Him!

What does it mean that I will be with Him? If I think well of Him and He thinks well of me, then it will certainly be good for both of us. Thus, I am already thinking about how to give to Him, and through that, I will feel that He is giving to me. This is already a kind of Lo Lishma in the form where all my thoughts are about having a good feeling toward Him, because if I have a bad feeling toward Him, I will feel bad too.

And so, gradually, a person starts to unravel all this until he reaches a state called the greatest Lo Lishma, which does not let you sleep. I want to love Him, I want to be connected to Him, to give myself to Him, and lose myself in this, because I am sure this will be good for me. If I am so devoted to this, it means I already have a certain level of Lo Lishma from which I can move on to Lishma.

Every time I demand attainment of Lo Lishma from my studies in a different form, at a higher level, until I reach a state where Lishma enters it.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/16/26, Rabash, “What Should One Do If He Was Born With Bad Qualities?”

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