There is a contradiction between the desire to receive and the desire to bestow, and therefore, we are always in a state of uncertainty and lack of understanding. Baal HaSulam writes that every spiritual state contains two opposites within it; that is, contradiction is inherent in its very nature.

He explains what the real problem within us actually is. As long as we exist simply in the still, vegetative, or animate desire to receive, which is our nature, there is no problem, and everything is in order.

There are the four phases of the expansion of the direct light: the root phase (Shoresh), the first phase (Aleph), the second phase (Bet), and the third phase (Gimel). But as soon as the fourth phase (Behina Dalet) begins, problems immediately arise, and the restriction (Tzimtzum) takes place.

Before the fourth phase, there is no restriction because everything is governed from above. I have no desires of my own. The Creator gives me thoughts, impulses, desires, fears, anxieties, and hormones. And I, like a puppet, merely carry out everything that He gives me. There are no problems or contradictions here. I am the desire to receive, the Creator governs me from above, and that is all.

But when the point in the heart awakens within the desire to receive, it is already a messenger from that world, from beyond the Machsom, from the desire to bestow. Then a rupture occurs within a person, and a problem arises: two opposite natures coexist within him—the spiritual nature and the corporeal nature. The inner tension within a person grows, and he begins to feel like they are exploding or losing their mind. They cannot coexist together. This is why we are so unhappy.

One must understand that there is no choice. At a certain point, the Creator implanted both the desire to receive and the desire to bestow within us, as well as within all of humanity. We will remain in this inner division until we “join” the two together—that is, until the desire to receive acquires the intention to bestow as its second, spiritual nature.

We are obligated to reach spirituality. We are simply not asked whether we want to. We will remain in this inner fracture until we transform our desire to receive into a desire to bestow. Then these two forms of nature—the spiritual and the corporeal—will once again become as one. Only then will we attain a sensation of peace.

Until the end of correction (Gmar Tikkun) however, this contradiction will continue to exist within us.
[358514]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/29/26, Rabash, “One’s Greatness Depends on the Measure of One’s Faith in the Future”

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