In spirituality, desire determines everything. Therefore, a created being is not capable of willingly desiring suffering in order to subsequently, after a few steps, delight the Creator with an altruistic intention. This is impossible. This entire process must begin from above. The Creator is always the initiator.

Question: In the corporeal world, a small child learning how to walk does not see how helpless his state is because his mother is before his eyes and he knows she will help him. What about spirituality?

Answer: If we were standing and crying like a child, but while crying, looking toward the Creator, this state would be different from when He is concealed. If you see the Creator, it means He has not left you; He has not concealed Himself.

In the corporeal world, connection can be felt through sight, touch, an embrace, and so on. In spirituality as well, there are various degrees of connection: an embrace, a kiss, and so forth. If you have drawn closer to the Creator (no matter to what degree you are connected with Him), this cannot be called a state of darkness because you remain in connection with Him. He does not abandon you.

We must understand that states of darkness are sent to us from above according to how much effort we must apply at a given degree. Perhaps they are sent to you with the initial intention that you will not succeed. Perhaps this is meant to give you the opportunity to accumulate Reshimot and to clarify your failures, so that you will exert certain efforts in this situation.

You do not know this, but you are given exactly what you need at this moment for your spiritual advancement. The accounting is done from above. You do not know why or for what purpose—just as a child does not understand why his mother has stepped away from him, why she seems so harsh.

He was always in her arms and suddenly she places him in the middle of the room and steps back. The child is completely helpless, while the mother rejoices; she is teaching him to walk, teaching him independence.

This is what: “You shall see My back” (Achoraim) is. That is, from a state of darkness, you begin to see the light. It does not mean that through the Achoraim you directly see the light. In the state of Achoraim, you build the Kli. And through the Kli, you then reveal the face of the Creator.
[354868]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/31/26, Rabash, “Show Me Your Glory”

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