Question: How can I perceive the desire within a friend?

Answer: I should not try to see the desire in a friend; rather, I must invest efforts in him, because in return I receive an awareness of the importance of the upper one from the entire environment.

In other words, I can invest efforts in the group through a few specific friends from whom I see absolutely nothing directly, I can suddenly receive an additional feeling that helps me become inspired by an awareness of the importance of the Creator that previously I did not perceive.

The group had a great awareness of the importance of the Creator even before, but I would come there and see none of it at all. I was like a cat walking into room. If the cat were to pass through here, would it be inspired by what we are speaking about? Would it be influenced by it? The same was true for me. I would come, sit in my place, study some science with the friends, look at the drawings on the board, and leave. It had no effect on me.

However, through the efforts that I invest in the society, I receive an additional sensitivity, and then I begin to see: indeed, they truly aspire to the goal, they are so deeply immersed in it, they strive for it so earnestly! Then I begin to experience a genuine response to the group. This depends not on the group, but on the efforts I have invested.

The group may remain exactly the same, yet suddenly I begin to discover within it more and more forces that are beneficial for my advancement, solely in accordance with the efforts I invested in it.

Consequently I no longer need to demand the friends do something for me, that they shout louder —be more vocal, although these expressions have their place. Indeed, we raise toasts for those who have accomplished something praiseworthy, and so on. It is helpful; it gives an example and in one way or another assists everyone. However, my main work is that by investing efforts, I begin to see the society differently and hear what is happening within it differently. And this is something that one does not demand from others.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/16/26, Rabash, “Make for Yourself a Rav and Buy Yourself a Friend – 1”

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