The answer is that he wishes to achieve Dvekut [adhesion] with the Creator, called “equivalence of form,” meaning not to think of his own benefit. Thus, why is subduing a difficult thing? The reason is that he must revoke his own worth, and the whole of the life that he wishes to live will be only with the consideration of his ability to work for others’ benefit, beginning with love of others, between man and man, through the love of the Creator (Rabash, Article No. 30 (1988) “What to Look For in the Assembly of Friends”).
If I want to achieve adhesion with the Creator, and adhesion with Him can be according to the form, then I must completely annul my “I,” and do everything I do in life with the intention of loving everything that surrounds me. Only in this way will I achieve love for the Creator and gradually reveal Him to the extent of my love for others and be able to reach adhesion with Him.
We understand that the replacement of our egoism with the quality opposite to it is mandatory, necessary. Therefore, our work in the group is salvation for us! If it were not for the group, we would not have a transitional state—from love of the created beings to love of the Creator. I would not be able to do anything. I would be absolutely opposite to the Creator without any ability to come closer to Him and to start moving toward Him in any manner.
The group exists precisely so that I can start connecting with it, enter it, and annul myself toward it. To this extent, I begin to come closer to the Creator.
I have every possibility to control myself and be aware of how I am coming closer and what I am doing with this. And all of this is thanks to my connection with the friends.
From the International Convention “Rising Above Ourselves” 1/7/22, “Annulling before the Friends” Lesson 2