Question: Could you describe all the states that we have to go through from our present condition to the true request for bestowal?

Answer: These are not some kind of clear, sequential steps that we can understand. These states are changing: coming and going.

But it is clear that at the very beginning, when a person comes, it seems to him that he can achieve everything himself, alone, and that he is not dependent on anything, neither on the teacher nor the group. He thinks that books are enough for him to advance.

Then, he has a revelation, and the only question is how much time it would take. Sometimes, egoism plugs his eyes and ears so much that he sees and hears nothing, and thus, it may take years. Sometimes, this happens sooner.

However, all theses stages that we have to experience are the levels of our awareness of our inability to reach the goal and of our dependence on the teacher, the books, the group, and applied efforts of one kind or another. Thus, we rise step after step until we come to the understanding that we depend only on the Creator, the notion that incorporates all previous factors: when I couldn’t manage without the teacher, the books, and the group.

Now, I reveal that everything is included in Him, in the concept I call the “Creator.” And then I really see that everything around me, except me, is He alone, and there is no one else. I understand that I am not able to and cannot, but nevertheless have to persuade myself  to seek Him all the time.
[47212]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/5/2011, Shamati #5

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Dear Friends, please ask questions about these passages from the great Kabbalists. The commentaries in brackets are mine.

Remoteness from the Creator is the Reason for All Suffering

The property of our uniqueness, of being the center of the world extends to us directly from the Creator, who is single in the world and the Root of all creations. But in the Creator this quality evokes love for all, while in us it connects with our narrow egoism and drives one to to use the entire world only for oneself. This is how the sensation of singularity becomes the source of all the ruins that were and will be in the world.
– Baal HaSulam, “Peace in the World”

Pleasure and sublimity are measured by the extent of equivalence of form with the Creator. And pain and intolerance are measured by the extent of disparity of form from His qualities. Thus, egoism is loathsome and pains us, as its form is opposite from the Creator.
– Baal HaSulam, “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose”
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“Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot,” Items 15-18
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The Book of Zohar – Selected, Chapter “Truma (Donation),” “Hell’s Judgment,” Item 459, Lesson 19
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Talmud Eser Sefirot Part 1 “Table of Answers for the Meaning of the Words,” Item 50, Lesson 35
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Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah, Item 19, Lesson 14
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“Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah),” Item 14, Lesson 10
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My Good Environment – Dr. Laitman’s Advice for the Week

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Do not imagine the Creator to be somewhere far, in some far-off  worlds, existing separately from you. Everything only exists within our desire; everything becomes revealed within us.

It only seems to us that the entire reality, beside for us, exists somewhere on the outside and is divided into the layers of the still, vegetative, animate, and speaking nature, which are either closer to or distant from us. But all of this exists within our desire.

It only seems to a person as if it were not his, as if it were foreign, and this confusion is given to him intentionally, as a consequence of the breaking. But as he begins to work on attaining bestowal, he gradually, to the extent of his readiness to bestow and sacrifice his egoism, starts to sense these parts of the universe that appeared to be foreign and external to him: the still nature, plants, animals, and people.

Evidently, everything belongs to him, and it only appeared to be foreign to him due to his ruined perception.

This way the Creator awakens a person with His invitations and stings at any opportunity, and the person becomes more sensitive to responding to bestowal. He only needs to carry out the instructions with more precision. This is why the Torah is called an “instruction” (Oraa) so we could use all the means given to us in this world (the teacher, the study, and the group) and transcend it.

It doesn’t matter that one does not understand what he is doing or that he just tries like a small child playing a game. If he really desires to attain spirituality and is prepared to cancel himself before the teacher, the group, and the study in order to change with their help and become manageable clay in their hands, he will begin to feel the changes happening within him.

A person does not know where they come from. Kabbalists say that they come from the Surrounding Light. But we do not perceive the Surrounding Light because it does not become the Inner one, and we only notice its influence by the results. We suddenly begin to understand and feel more; we become prepared to be closer to bestowal, the teacher, and the group.

This is how the Surrounding Light operates, and everything depends on our sensitivity to the changes we must receive. I must desire for them to happen directly within me, within my desire, for the Creator’s image, the image of the giver to dress itself in me, and for my desire to receive pleasure to acquire the form of bestowal.

And so I will attain adhesion: I will sense how I merge with the Creator inside of myself. But I connect with the Creator and exist within Him, and the Creator exists within me. This is why He is called the Creator (Bo-Reh) or “come and see.”
[47541]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/8/2011, Writings of Rabash

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We do not need anything else but trepidation, which is the proper attitude towards the Creator. One’s work begins when one becomes able to distinguish between “sanctity” (bestowal) and “impurity” (Klipa, egoism).

To be in sanctity means to constantly worry about the Creator supporting us and allowing us to keep the correct attitude towards His revelation, towards the expression of His love towards us. This concern must constantly dominate a person because if he was to break and leave this concern for a certain second, during a certain state on this path, he would immediately fall into egoism, Klipa.

He would begin to use the Creator’s kind and loving attitude towards him for the sake of his own benefit. When he desires to enjoy the Creator’s love for his own sake even for a second, this already is Klipa.

But when he fears whether he will be able to turn the entire revelation of the Giver’s love into a reciprocal attitude towards Him in order to return the same kind of love and bestowal to Him, this is “sanctity.” This way a person raises himself to a level of “sanctity and impurity” determined by his ability to accept the Creator’s love. When he only does this out of fear for returning the same attitude, this is called bestowal, “sanctity.” But when he himself wants to enjoy the Creator’s love, he considers this an “impure desire,” Klipa.

This is called the “screen,” which he always must preserve over him and concern himself with accepting the revelation of Light, the Creator, only in the “Reflected Light.” This Reflected Light determines the degree of “fear.”
[47323]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/6/2011, Shamati No.38

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We are unable to understand what the intention “for the sake of bestowal” (Lishma) is since we are always in the desire to enjoy, opposite to bestowal. And what seems to be bestowal to us in this world is just another form of egoism pretending to bestow so that when we give to someone, we indirectly receive even more from them.

And that is why we do not understand the meaning of “Lishma,” complete bestowal without any profit for oneself. Baal HaSulam says in Shamati No. 5 (“Lishma Is an Awakening from Above, and Why Do We Need an Awakening from Below”) that it is not for the human mind to grasp how such a thing can happen in the world.

Also when a person is really working to reach bestowal, he begins to understand how unrealistic this goal is. How is it possible to stop thinking about oneself, to receive a thought, action, or desire which is directed to the “outside,” without caring about one’s own benefit? This is because one is only able to understand that he will attain something by engaging in Torah and Mitzvot. There must be self-gratification there; otherwise one is unable to do anything.

Instead, this is an illumination that comes from Above, and only one who tastes it (receives from Above) can know and understand what he has received. And therefore there is nothing to go by before this, not a simple understanding or even a slight perception of what bestowal, “Lishma,” is.

It is written about it, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” This means that first one needs to “taste,” to receive a sensation, and then one can understand.

Why then should we invest our effort and work to implement the recommendations of Kabbalists if nothing will help until the Creator gives us the other nature? Isn’t it easier to wait until you receive it?

The answer is, as our sages said, “It is not for you to complete the work, and you are not free to idle away from it.” This means that one must give the awakening from below since this is discerned as a prayer. A prayer is considered a deficiency, and without deficiency there is no fulfillment. We need to obtain a desire suitable for filling with the quality of bestowal.

But how can I ask for something that I’ve never tried or needed, something I do not have, and I know absolutely nothing about? It follows, that one’s work is needed to receive the Lishma from the Creator only in the form of a lack and a Kli (vessel). Yet, one can never attain the fulfillment alone; it is rather a gift from God.

However, the prayer must be a whole prayer, that is, from the bottom of the heart. This means that a person knows one hundred percent that there is no one in the world who can help him but the Creator Himself. Meaning that a person needs to invest all of his efforts to not receive anything, to arrive at a broken heart. Only then will he finally hear the desperation inside from all the efforts that he invested and realize that only the Creator can help him. And then the Creator hears his prayer.

See how much effort and frustration is needed in order to move from state to state, to attain a deeper understanding that I cannot, I am unable to, I do not want to! And thus, I descend step by step, penetrating ever deeper into the heart, until I reach the true prayer.
[47215]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/5/2011, Shamati #5

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The Zohar, Chapter “Truma (Donation),” Item 432: …all the people in the world know that they will die and return to dust, and therefore many repent and return to their Master because of this fear. They fear sinning before Him.

Question: What is the meaning of “to die”?

Answer: “To die” or “to live” talks about the desire. According to The Zohar, “alive” means bestowing and “dead” means receiving.

In spirituality there is no life or death. We talk about life and death in our world because we perceive only one form of existence and we see that this form seems to disappear from us. We think that life is the body when it’s breathing, and death is when it stops breathing.

But to a person who starts to feel spirituality, this distinction becomes very strange: How is it possible that this is the indication by which we tell the difference between what exists and what doesn’t exist, what is alive and what is dead? That’s because this person shifts to perceiving a different form of existence, and the earthly notions of life and death disappear for him.

If a person shifts to a more important perception where bestowal is considered life and reception death, then he rises above the level of an animal to the level of a human, and then life to him means existence on the human level and death on the animate level. He does not connect life and death to the existence of the animate body.

Then this animate body disappears from his sensation, losing its significance for defining his state, life and death. Even if the body dies, a person is already on a different degree of desire in the sensation of life and death in relation to spirituality, and he is united with them.

Therefore, this world no longer causes him to experience breaks in the process of the soul’s development.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/8/11, The Zohar

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The Book of Zohar, Weekly Torah Portion “Balak,” Selected Excerpts
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Question: Which phase precedes fear of the Creator?

Answer: From the very beginning one works only on attaining fear. Fear is called the first commandment. From what moment do we begin to work in fear? It is a long path until we attain fear, until we begin to feel that fear is all we’re lacking.

In other words, fear is the sensation of being dependent on the Creator for everything. But this dependence is acquired not by simply shaking from fear or believing blindly what someone else said. Rather, one feels it after verifying for oneself in everything that one faces on his path and seeing that he is incapable of achieving the goal, the importance of which he was working on for so long that now he cannot escape from it or put it out of his mind. And then one sees that everything depends only on acquiring the right attitude toward the Creator.

One must receive this attitude from Above, in a prepared form; fear must be born from within. And one doesn’t know what this Kli (vessel) is like. We don’t know what fear is. We may mistake it for the fear that pertains to this world. But in reality, fear is whether or not I will be able to sense His love?

This sensation cannot be felt in our world. We can’t even imagine how it would be possible. That’s how far it is from us.
[47290]
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/6/2011, The Zohar

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