An Unbearable Distinction From The Creator
If the Creator, in line with His Thought of Creation, wasn’t supposed to elevate us to the highest degree of evolution, He wouldn’t have created in us the sensation of being different from Him. The point is not in the difference between the Giver and the receiver. It is clear that the Creator is in the lead. He is good that does good. He is the Absolute, and, being the Giver, He created us as receivers “by default.” We certainly won’t feel ashamed while we receive from Him. What would be the problem with receiving from the One who Gives? After all, that is the way He made us.
Shame, however, derives solely from the sensation of being different that was designed by the Creator, the feeling of separation between Him and us, which leads to our beginning to sense reception as flawed. This rule is projected onto our world as well, where we feel uncomfortable when we receive pleasure from someone with whom we have a special relationship in which the other has a higher status.
There is an additional problem here. Compared to spirituality, it takes opposite forms pertaining to us and poses a question: Can I stop feeling ashamed? In spirituality, however, my question is how can I enhance shame because it becomes an instrument to analyze myself, a vehicle to raise my awareness of my evil.
As we know, besides the awareness of evil, we don’t need anything else. All the rest is done by the upper Light. What is this evil after all? It is not about my being a receiver by nature. I realize how evil I am when I discover how truly great the differences are between my qualities and those of the Creator.
I desire greatly to enhance this sensation, this awareness, since this is what leads me to ask for correction. We regard such a plea as “the gate of tears.” The necessary details of perception are gathered within me until the awareness of my evil finally makes me scream because I cannot bear this discrepancy between the Creator and myself.
Thus, evil is not a mere distinction between the receiver and the Giver. Clearly, the Creator gives, while I receive. Such an arrangement remains at all the spiritual degrees, in the end of correction and after it. The problem lies in becoming conscious of the inner, qualitative distinction between my properties and His. That is what causes me to feel shame.
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From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/26/2011, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”
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Thank you! I think this is very true. And it is hard to receive from others who are above us because then we have to admit that there is something wrong with ourselves that needs to be corrected. Our ego tells us that we don’t need it, yet we know without it we are not going to feel corrected as we want to feel. And I think we tell ourselves that all of our progress comes from ourselves. That we are the ones who fix ourselves or make things better, when it is really the Creator giving to us and us needing to receive from Him. It’s like we cannot get past the fact that everything comes from him. We want it to come from ourselves because we are egoists.