It is very hard for us to imagine how a created being that was made by the Light, existed in adhesion with it, and didn’t sense any deficiency caused by being opposite to it suddenly felt ashamed and didn’t agree to stay in this state, restricted itself, and expelled all the Light. What must the creature feel when it sees itself as totally distant from the Light and desires to be identical to it?
The state of adhesion and perfection, which the created being experienced while being in the world of Infinity before the restriction, later on makes it take this road back to Infinity through all the states (1-2-3). And despite the fact that on the part of the Light there are no changes and the Creator never separates Himself from the created being, doesn’t see any flaws or the need for correction in it, the creature itself can’t accept being different from the Creator in any degree.
This marvelous feeling compels the created being to undertake such dramatic steps: to restrict its desire, obtain a screen, undergo the entire process of distancing itself from the Creator, from the Light, and then return back to Him, having completed the full circle. This is how desire acts.
And how can it be that the Light which gives the created being a feeling of their oneness, unity, and the absence of differences between them at the same time evokes in the creature a peculiar type of shame that forces the latter to restrict itself and walk this entire long road away from the Creator?
This feeling of shame has something unique; it becomes a powerful engine that makes the created being withdraw from the Creator, hide itself from Him, just like one person hides from someone that he is ashamed of, to make all the necessary corrections later on. And it’s not so that he may feel proud of himself, but rather so that he could return to the Creator His love that the created being felt emanating from Him when it felt ashamed. These are very exalted notions.
So it follows that it’s worthwhile for the creature to make this horrific full circle, never stopping on this path, giving into nothing, although it could return back to the state of Infinity any time! And still, every new instant it decides again: “No, I am not going to succumb to this infinite pleasure unless I act consciously in it and can feel proud of and respect myself!” Obviously, it isn’t about egoistic pride; it’s about the creature wanting to give to the Creator the attitude that it revealed in relation to itself.
Essentially, in the world of Infinity, the Creator’s love doesn’t commit the creature to anything. The Creator treats it like a father who loves his son infinitely and is willing to bestow everything to him, without any reservation and implying no shame. And yet, the son, while having known the Creator’s love for him, realizes that he himself is unable to love. And it is the only thing that makes him feel ashamed: that he himself is unable to love unconditionally and give to the Creator the same kind of feeling from the point of darkness and separation.
Hence, the son makes a decision to accept from his Father darkness rather than Light and the most horrible blows. He pledges to keep loving Him no matter what, as if he is receiving only the most kindly, true Light of Infinity. The Father’s love is endless and absolute, and hence the son decides to love Him no less.
Therefore, he has no other chance of reaching this state except by walking the path of darkness, which is directly opposite to infinite fulfillment. It’s because above this entire darkness, he can reveal unconditional love.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/16/2011, Talmud Eser Sefirot