Question: How can a person follow the advice of “being joyful” if he feels “the taste of waste” in his spiritual work?
Answer: This is a phase where you still do not understand the importance of waste. Yet, can anything grow without waste, manure, or fertilizer? There is nothing useless in the world; everything depends only on your attitude. We have to go through all of the states and feel each of them. In these states death seems sweeter than life, but you aren’t able to avoid them because you have to understand what the “will to enjoy” is.
I am speaking frankly, without exaggerating: Unless you experience this, you won’t be able to come out of the power of the will to enjoy, even though this also doesn’t help a great deal. This is the revelation of the “angel of death.” Without the group’s support, without a strict daily routine, and without taking on obligations, it is impossible to cope with this feeling.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to take on obligations that compel you to carry out a certain task today. It has to put pressure on you like a yoke on a bull. There is nothing worse than feeling free. Despite the fact that you do not see, feel, understand, or remember anything, you start to work because you have to, and gradually you come out of the state of descent and continue your path.
We are controlled by two forces, and the only opportunity we are given is to shift from the rule of one force to the influence of the other. Besides the rule of two forces, there is an intermediate state where you choose what influence to be under. You have to try to control these two forces from the intermediate state, the middle line, as if these are two reins that you hold in your hands.
That is why you have to stick to the daily routine: Go to the lesson, go over the lesson, sing, dance in your room when no one can see you, laugh—do anything you can to come out of a bad state! You have to disagree with and oppose the control of this force! The worst thing you can do is despair.
From the lesson on Rabash’s article on 11/7/11