Question: How do I feel joy when evil gets revealed?
Answer: You can’t feel joy. When you receive a blow, you have to feel through it, and only afterward will you work with it. It is impossible to protect yourself beforehand in order to feel an embrace instead of a blow.
Evil unfolds not as evil per se but as an ability to become aware of it, and it’s something totally different. To become conscious of evil means that you disclose your ego as evil when you receive greatest pleasure, when you are in the most wonderful and ravishing states that your ego can possibly imagine, in the states which nothing can supersede.
The blow is not when today, for example, you receive something unpleasant so as to force you to know your evil. It won’t be the realization of evil, but rather some evil being revealed. Becoming aware of one’s evil means that while being in the greatest states I feel my ego as evil. And then, I start feeling hatred toward these specific states which make me feel so good.
In other words, the awareness of evil and evil itself are two opposites. That is why this process is regarded as learning to know your evil since I engage my mind which helps me to expose evil within good. To the degree that I reveal it, I discover the blow that comes from it, but I don’t experience the blow itself. After all, evil doesn’t manifest clearly; it is always perceived as good.
A serpent unfolds mainly when you are feeling the most pleased. And only thanks to the Light that descends to you, as well as to your environment, do you get to know that this evil is the “angel of death.”
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/21/2011, Baal HaSulam, Letter No.5