If I truly wish for the Light to come to me, I have to ask for transformation of my entire spiritual vessel (Kli): from Keter to Malchut. In spirituality there cannot be any partial decisions, when I am “almost willing” but not completely. I must demand this correction for all my “10 Sefirot” for all the four levels of desire: the still, vegetative, animate, and speaking.
Once I know my evil at all the four levels, then I can draw the Light that Reforms. My desire for this to occur has to be so intense that I will feel it with every fiber of my being, “to my very bones.”
However, if I awaken on my own right now and start demanding the Surrounding Light, scream, and ask for correction, it’s great, but it won’t help. Desire to which the Light responds must reside between the souls, in their relationships with one another.
In other words, I need to inspire myself to sing with the others, dance, and perform certain actions so that all of this would help me engage in the group: bond with the environment and demand from it to tune me to bestowal. Let it give me the desire to be in bestowal and become one with the others.
In the degree of my eagerness to bond with the environment, I will receive a reaction, a desire from it. And if I use this new desire to appeal to the Surrounding Light, then I have a chance to have it work on me.
Therefore, I must motivate myself to appeal to the group and in return receive inspiration from it, which would impress me. Then I can turn to the Surrounding Light. After all, if I appeal to the group, it is a sign of the following:
- I realized that I cannot achieve anything on my own,
- I desire to bestow more than to receive,
- I value them more than myself.
In other words, it is a correct request; it forms me in the spiritual direction correctly. If I am willing to accept everything they give me by faith above reason and emotion, as if from the most spiritual source, it means I am prepared to be transformed. This means I have risen above my egoism, have become aware that I am a total zero, and now desire correction. And the only correction I want is to be able to bestow.
Such a request will definitely be answered by the Surrounding Light since it corresponds with its nature, “the reforming Light, precisely. And I ask to bring me back to it!
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/25/2011, Talmud Eser Sefirot