We work above our matter, the will to enjoy. It has to grow all the time in order for us to grow, creating the form of bestowal and equivalence to the Creator above it.
That is why we experience the growing desire as a disaster. It comes when a person is ready for it. It is written, “The woe that comes to the sinners starts with the righteous.” In other words, the negative forms become revealed in those who used to be righteous, who made an ascent and prepared themselves.
Beginners who don’t understand the method yet are taken aback by this, “Why is it that after all the efforts I made, I am experiencing such negative states?” Suddenly the inspiration is gone and one feels indifferent to everything. However, with experience comes wisdom and a person realizes that the path forward lies through descents and opposition to the egoistic inclination.
The spiritual goal will always remain a question for me, “Why do I advance? Is it worth it for me to go against my egoism, my nature? Is it normal to work in such great descents, without any aspiration or motivation?” A person feels miserable and helpless, and experiences his state as unworthy and undeserved.
This is precisely the place about which it is written, “The righteous will walk where the sinners will retreat.” The entire matter is that we have to come out of our nature. We shouldn’t nourish it or tend to it, but raise it in order to ascend above it. Every time a person has prepared himself for an ascent, he is sent a new “burdening of the heart” so he would ascend even higher. That is how he advances on the spiritual path.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/5/11, Writings of Rabash