Writings of Rabash, Shlavei HaSulam, “What’s the Difference Between ‘The Gate of Tears’ from the Rest of the Gates”: Even if a person weeps shedding bitter tears, but he weeps for excesses, no one will respond to his cries. This person stands before the gate of tears, but the gate is closed and does not allow his prayer to enter. People do not cry over excesses. It is customary to cry only over vital necessities.
Question: What does it mean to cry in spirituality? How does a person know he is really crying? And should the group reach the state of crying?
Answer: Of course, both the group and every individual in it have to reach this state. This is the “prayer of many” where every person prays for everyone, including himself. The prayers in the prayer book are constructed upon this principle.
Crying is the state of smallness (Katnut) when I know that I cannot attain unity by myself; in fact, I cannot even desire it by myself. Even before I reach the certainty that I am unable to make a spiritual action, I have to understand that first of all I need a 100% desire. “Let it happen to me!” And this is a desire I also can’t acquire alone.
For example, I had hoped to get rid of an illness by myself, but gradually I realized that it’s impossible. Having suffered and wasted a ton of efforts, I see that I cannot do anything about it. I discover that I can only get cured by a doctor. So what’s the problem?
The problem is that I have to ask the doctor for it. I have to demand and implore him to perform the surgery. And I have to really desire this, even though I am very afraid of it. Fear stops me, but the futility of the situation pushes me to plea for help.
The same thing happens to us: To the degree we advance, we feel more and more clearly that we have to go through surgery to eliminate egoism, that very egoism that leads us through life and supports us in every way. So how can I ask or even think about coming out of it? It can only be done by means of the Upper Light.
I have to receive the desire from outside, from the group, and I do so unwillingly. It is written about it, “We go from Lo Lishma to Lishma,” meaning from the egoistic intention to the altruistic one. I aspire to that which is opposite to me today: for all of my worries to be about the neighbor, so all the money besides the “vital minimum” I need will go to my neighbor, and so everything will be for my neighbor.
Can I really desire this, as if there is nothing more important in life? Can I ask for these thoughts not to leave me for a second? Can I cry for it?
Suppose someone shows me a petition for bestowal: “I request to be provided with an altruistic desire so I will take care of others with everything I have besides what I need to survive.” Sign it! Go ahead! Want it! But how can I want it? After all, I can’t create a new desire inside myself.
That’s true, but if you agree to it in principle, and then start working in the group, the necessary desire will come to you from the friends. The environment contains a spiritual force, the force of the Creator. Nothing depends on the friends themselves, and it was arranged that way initially. If I turn to the environment, to our inner interconnection, there I find everything. There I reveal all the levels, forces, and states until the very end of correction.
Suddenly I discover that we are united and in our unity I feel all the spiritual phenomena, down to total unity. I reveal everything that the science of Kabbalah talks about there, in our interconnection.
The forces of bestowal between us is the connection between the souls. The soul is the force of bestowal in a person, a part of the Creator from Above.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/28/10, Writings of Rabash