The question “What do I live for” is the inception of the desire to reveal the Creator. I want to know Who had begotten me, where my root lies, and Who governs me. Who created all this, and why did He create me “wrapped up” within this huge world? What does He want from me at every moment, giving me not a moment’s rest and pushing me toward some unknown?
When these questions come to me, they poison my entire life, and I can no longer live without revealing the Creator. This is how I am structured for I am created by the Light which had imprinted itself in me, in all my desires.
All my desires are like a cast, the Light’s reverse imprint, and until I draw the Light and fill myself with it, I will not rest, to the point where this life will feel worse than death. I will be ready to do anything for even a drop of this fulfillment.
Therefore, my task is to clarify how to reveal the Creator, the Light, and the form in which I can fill myself with it. Indeed, this is no simple task which is why the wisdom of Kabbalah is called “Hochmat HaKabbalah (wisdom of reception).”
It is not like in our world where I need only to open my mouth to slake my thirst. A spiritual desire cannot be quenched directly. Rather, it must be clarified first since the Creator does not give me a ready desire suited for the Light. He wants me to verify what is it that I desire, what is the Light, and to realize that it is the greatest of any possible fulfillments. He wants me to try all the desires and all the fulfillments, to verify myself, and to say, “No, I want only this!”
The Creator is extremely jealous and captious. He wants me to love only Him and nothing else, and He verifies this by revealing in me every possible thing. I am supposed to reply, “No, You are still the greatest of all fulfillments, of all pleasures! You are the tastiest!” It is written, “Taste and see that the Lord is good” because this type of fulfillment is called taste.
From Lesson 7, World Kabbalah Congress 2010, 11/11/10
A One Man Show