Baal HaSulam, “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose”: The attribute of goodness is not at all apparent before Creation arrives at its completion, its final ripeness. On the contrary, it rather always takes a form of corruption in the eyes of the beholders. Thus you see that the Creator bestows upon His creatures only goodness, but that goodness comes by way of purposeful Guidance.
The system is designed in such way that in order to reach the goal, the property of bestowal, we must keep uncovering opposite attributes within ourselves. Moreover, as we advance toward the goal, we will be discovering ever greater inadequacies in ourselves. The discrepancy between the positive and the negative constantly increases. I am shown much more of the negative compared to the positive.
The truth is that my matter (desire to enjoy) isn’t neutral. I am not neutral. I don’t wish to be in a zero state; I want pleasure, and that is why even a zero makes me feel bad. I feel good only when I am filled, when I am on the plus side. But what if I didn’t make it to the plus side even a little? It doesn’t matter; I am still unhappy.
The difference between what I desire and what I have immediately stirs up a “why?” in me. It is because my egoism is scorned: “Why am I not filled? I am entitled to everything!”
It is necessary to understand that we cannot be objective judges of the states we are going through since we don’t remain neutral to them. Evil is always greater in our eyes than good. Even without a spoonful of tar in a barrel of honey, if the barrel isn’t filled with the honey completely, something is already wrong.
Moreover, before I am done experiencing something truly great, it dissolves. I am already thinking about what new pleasure I am going to feel the next moment. In the middle of ecstasy, the sign of its loss is already emerging on its face, and I start worrying about what to do next.
This is the way our egoistic desire works. Naturally, with such nature, we are unable to attain satisfaction. It keeps consistently ruining us. Desire for pleasures can never remain filled and satisfied. Every second that lacks enjoyment poisons its life.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/16/10, “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose”
An Apple In The Creator’s Garden