There is a concept of “entering a union,” when the parties sign a commitment to treat each other well in the future if the relationship worsens, problems and misunderstandings emerge, hatred breaks out, or lack of understanding comes to replace understanding. However, even if I fall into such a state where it seems obvious to me that the other side has become my enemy, I will still treat him as a friend according to the agreement that I once signed with him. This constitutes the strength of the union.
When is it possible to enter such a union? If we are close and our qualities match, then we enter a union. We don’t need it right now since there is understanding between us and even love! However, we sign this agreement in case I come to feel opposition and hatred – then I am obliged to keep myself in such a relationship by force.
In other words, I can “fall” and see you and me hating each other, but still I need to treat you like before. I know that everything depends on me, and the whole of reality outside of me is unified and perfect. This is where the concept of a union comes from – I rely on the fact that all the changes occur only in me: the good ones and the bad ones. Everything depends upon my outlook of things: “Everyone judges according to his own shortcomings.”
Therefore, when I sign such a union agreement, I establish and direct myself to the fact that the world is good and perfect, and all the changes occur only in me. This is the foundation of a spiritual union, and it exists eternally. Our Patriarchs (the Kabbalists of the past) entered such a union having corrected their parts of the common soul which is called “the Merit of the fathers.” And we can use this merit if we join them and go back to the state of that union that exists between them.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/3/10, Article “Ancestral Merit”