Why Are People So Preoccupied With Sex?

Laitman_422A question I received: Why are people so preoccupied with sex?

My Answer: In the spiritual world, the soul is in the state of “Zivug” (coupling, merging) with the Light. This is the unity of two parts of creation, a male and female, which brings the greatest pleasure there is: filling the soul with the Light. A prototype of the spiritual merger in the material world is physical coupling. That’s why (attraction to the opposite sex) is considered a foundation, a root of all desires and pleasures of our world, and preoccupies us so much.

Sexual pleasure in our world beautifully demonstrates the difference between the spiritual and physical merging. A person (a man) thinks about sex all the time and envisages enormous pleasure that awaits him, but after the peak, the satisfaction immediately disappears. A chase after another pleasure begins again….

Why? It is because the Light and desire annul each other. In other words, by filling the desire, the Light neutralizes the sensation of pleasure, similarly to how plus and minus cancel out each other. The disappearance of both leads to double emptiness. That’s why it’s written, “Dying, a person does not receive even a half of the desired.”

Spiritual pleasure works within us differently. To be in the spiritual world means to have the intention (screen) – an ability to receive pleasure (Light) into a desire (vessel, Kli) in order to bring pleasure to the other (a friend, the Creator). That requires a person to acquire the property of the Creator, the property of love and bestowal. Then a person reaches the spiritual coupling, ceaseless merging, which continues and intensifies constantly, giving one the sensation of eternal life.

Essentially, somewhere deep inside, in the soul, we all unconsciously aspire to this particular merging, and are created for it.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: The Recipe For Eternal Pleasure (Advanced)
Laitman.com Post: Beautiful Moment, Do Not Pass Away!
The Path of Kabbalah: “The Birth of the Partzufim”


  1. Sexual pleasure is nothing more than an attempt in the physical world to realize the ultimate pleasure of the state of “Zivug”, however it proves to only be a false solution, a temporary ‘fix’. If we all inherently aspire to this merging and are created for it, is it wrong to indulge in these types of physical pleasures? Is the answer to this question generalized across all sexual pleasures involving the unconscious pursuit of “Zivug”; the union of the male and female, the making of whole what was before in parts?

  2. Through giving pleasure to the other and not seeking to complete the act for
    one’s own pleasure, sexual/spiritual pleasure becomes a single continuum that is constantly realized moment to moment, be it a smile, kiss or embrace…

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