My Answer: There are external means that we use: books, the group, the teacher, our study system, and connections around the whole world. These are the conditions that Kabbalists have fixed for us. If we realize them by building external boundaries for ourselves, and bring our desire for spirituality into this system, then this desire begins to grow.
Initially, I have just my single point in the heart. Then, I give it to my friends, thus receiving from them the points that belong to them. This system of connection between us, the souls, already exists. Everything is already prepared in advance during the descent of the worlds from above downwards, in order for us to ascend from our world to the World of Infinity.
All I have to do is tune into this system: Lower myself, see all others as corrected, and desire to receive the Light of Correction through them. Then I will receive desires for bestowal from all the other people, which will increase my desire. This will happen even though I initially had only my own small point in the heart, which probably wasn’t even aimed at the right goal. Yet, I invested in the group, desired to be a part of it, and therefore, I performed an act of bestowal. In response, I received a real force from others, a real desire to bestow.
You suddenly see that you really desire and value this. And then you start to experience fear: “Will I be able to attain bestowal to the Creator or will I complete my life in vain?” These are still egoistic thoughts, but they are already concerning how to attain bestowal. This is called “Lo Lishma“: When one a) aspires to give, and b) thinks about profiting.
It turns out that through the group you receive a more internal direction – to the Creator. But when you aspire to the Creator, you come closer to faith, and thus begin to draw the Surrounding Light upon yourself. It’s not that the Light changes, but it’s you who change, and therefore, the Light influences you differently. Now it can give you the quality of bestowal. When you acquire this quality, you begin to rise above your egoism.
This is what you wanted to achieve from the very beginning, but the Light arranged everything so that it happened according to your own desire, rather than by force. Suddenly you feel how you are filled by the quality of faith, meaning the quality of bestowal, Bina. It gives you freedom from your ego! And it’s not that it liberates you from your egoism, but it gives you the power to ascend above it. That’s when you rise above the Machsom.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/27/10, Article, “Love of Friends”