A question I received: What does it mean that the Upper One supplies me with the Light of Hassadim, the properties of bestowal?
My Answer: It means that instead of problems, suffering, darkness, and evil, I begin to perceive goodness, light, abundance, love, kindness, and mercy. Why has it changed? It is because my perception and my desires are beginning to change. My desires become corrected, and suddenly I see the very same darkness as goodness. I understand that bestowal is good. It isn’t darkness, but quite the opposite. It’s a new life that I hadn’t previously known. I perceived it as death, but it turns out to be the land of real life.
This happens to a person who unites with the others and wishes to connect to them, who does everything he can, but discovers that it’s not within his power. So, he asks the Creator to work with him and help him annul himself before the group. Thus, the Creator becomes his partner and all three unite: the person, the Creator, and the group. A person can’t enter the society without the Creator. He must invite the Creator to participate.
When I prepare my desires this way, I suddenly feel that bestowal is not darkness but life. The Light works on me so that subconsciously I begin to avoid reception and to value bestowal. My attitude to the others suddenly changes.
It seems to me as though this intrinsic change occurs in me on its own. I don’t yet understand how the Light has effected this change in me. First, I start to appreciate and honor this quality of bestowal from afar, as it were. However, soon, I desire it and yearn for it so much I simply crave it, and the Light grants my demand and reforms me.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/26/10, "Preface to the Sulam Commentary"
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