Entries in the 'desire' Category

A Friend Is Someone With The Same Qualities, Actions And Goals As You


Two questions I received on people who leave the study of Kabbalah:

Question: How should I regard a friend who has left the group and the study of Kabbalah?

My Answer: In Hebrew a “friend” is Haver, which comes from the word Hibur, connection. A connection is made only through equivalence of form, qualities, actions and goals. This person used to be like the other friends, but as soon as he left us, he stopped being like us and became different. Consequently, he is no longer a friend, because there is no connection. And therefore, he’s gone from my memory!

Even if I had a strong connection with him, it’s still so. There is no time in spirituality. Everything is determined by one’s state, or in other words, by the spiritual distance between two objects – the degree of their similarity.

Question: Lately we’ve had some cases of friends who leave the studies. How should we behave around these people? I want to continue being in touch with them, but can they do the same with me? Are there events they shouldn’t attend?

My Answer: You have to make arrangements so that all who have left will have an opportunity to keep in touch with the group and to return to it. The only exception are those who cause harm.

Sometimes a person grows weak along the path and stops participating in the joint movement of the group, but later he is reawakened and feels a renewed desire to attain the purpose of life. He then reconnects to the group. We are expanding in breadth, and hence we shouldn’t set rigid conditions for anyone. The people who “fluctuate” may participate in everything other than the making of decisions. For further details, please be in touch with the coordinators of the dissemination in English department at [email protected].

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We Were Created As Parts Of One Whole


Questions I received on egoism and its correction:

Question: Almost every day we read news reports from different countries about parents killing their children, children killing parents, wives killing their husbands and husbands – their wives, grandchildren – their grandparents and so on. What is this? Is this one of the expressions of the global crisis?

My Answer: It’s the expression of the last stage of egoism at its initial stage. The prophets wrote that there will come a time when “compassionate women will boil and eat their own children” (Eikha 4:10). This is what will happen unless we heed the prophets’ warning and go through these times in a different way, in the Light of Kabbalah that corrects egoism.

Question: One way or another, the Creator compels us to develop through suffering. So a person doesn’t develop according to his free will, but out of necessity. But isn’t the Creator’s plan to create someone equal to Him, a partner? What kind of equality is this?

My Answer: The entire period of free will and independent development is still ahead of you. However, you can only be brought to it through suffering. Otherwise your egoism will push you to everything but spiritual development. Throughout all previous times, we developed only through the development of our egoism, but now we have been given the opportunity to develop under the influence of the Light. So now you have freedom – freedom of how to develop.

Question: “I want to be good to You in order for You to be good to me” – this is a quote from your book in Russian, To Be a Chosen Nation, p. 324. Isn’t this an egoistic intention? Or is it the corrected egoism?

My Answer: It is the corrected egoism. However, it isn’t always possible to understand the intention, because the words can only convey one’s desires. In other words: “I ask You to correct me and I will do anything for it.” And “good” means the quality of bestowal and love.

Question: Today every one of us egoistically feels like an individual. What will every one of us feel after the correction? Will each of us feel that the Common Kli is him?

Answer: Definitely, because this is how we were created: as parts of one whole. Instead of perceiving ourselves, we need to perceive the whole organism. The perception inside oneself is our world, whereas the perception outside oneself is the Upper World.

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Preface To the Science Of Kabbalah. Items 13-16


Preface to the Science of Kabbalah (Pticha).
Items 13-16, summary:

13. Similar to how corporeal objects are separated by space, spiritual objects are separated by a difference in qualities. Two people whose views are similar are close, whereas two people whose views are opposite are far. And even if they’re in close physical proximity, they still feel distant from one another. So spiritual objects are close or far from one another only through their qualities: A difference of qualities separates them from one another, while similarity of qualities brings them closer, leading to adhesion.

The desire was created by the Creator, and is neither good nor bad. The creature’s state isn’t determined by the desire, but for whose sake the desire is used. The Creator bestows, and therefore when the creature uses the desire “for the sake of bestowal,” it is similar and close to the Creator. On the other hand, a creature that uses the desire “for its own sake” (for the sake of reception), is opposite to the Creator and hence distant from Him.

For the sake of brevity, in Kabbalah we use the terms: “will to receive” and “will to bestow,” but both allude to the usage of the same desire:

  • “For one’s own sake” is called “to receive,” and
  • “For the sake of the Creator (or for a friend)” is called “to bestow.”

However, one should never forget that the desire to bestow does not exist in nature. There is only the desire to receive (to receive fulfillment, pleasure). However, if this desire is used “for the Creator’s sake,” then it is absolutely equivalent to bestowal.

14. The fourth phase, which feels that it is opposite to the Creator, stops receiving the Light. This action is called Tzimtzum Aleph (the First Restriction). As a result, the desire remains empty. It then decides that it will only receive if this will please the Giver, the Creator.

15. Thus arises a new condition of reception – to receive only for the sake of the Creator. In so doing, the creature attains equivalence of form to the Creator. For example: a person comes to his friend’s house, who offers him to stay for dinner. Naturally, the guest will refuse the food, no matter how hungry he is, because he doesn’t like feeling like a receiver who doesn’t give anything in return (as he would in a restaurant, for instance). However, the host urges and persuades him, saying that the guest will please him greatly by receiving his food. When the guest feels that this is truly so, he agrees to receive the food, because he no longer feels that he is a receiver; on the contrary, he feels that he’s pleasing the host and doing him a favor by agreeing to receive from him.

It follows that despite the guest being hungry and unable to receive on account of the shame of receiving, the host’s persuasion and the guest’s refusal gave rise to a new condition: reception turned to bestowal. This happened due to a change in the guest’s intention. The guest receives, but his intention has changed. It is precisely the force of repulsion of the food, and not the feeling of hunger which is the actual desire, that became the basis for receiving the food.

16. We see that instead of using the desire directly, it is used in an “opposite” manner: the pleasure runs into refusal – the Screen, which stands in the Light’s way to the desire. Then the Reflected Light emerges – the desire to receive for the sake of the host. And only to the extent of this intention – the Reflected Light, the Direct Light is allowed to enter the desire. This reception of the Light is called “Zivug de Hakaa” (striking interaction) – first the strike, then the interaction.

The desires to receive for the Creator’s sake are called “pure” (from egoism). The desires to receive for their own sake are called “impure” (mired in egoism). They cannot receive the Upper Light and hence they are called “spiritually dead.”

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All Obstacles Are Surmountable

Contradictions Bring UnderstandingExcerpts from the morning lesson: A person has to ascend from the lowest level called “our world,” where everything is concealed, to the highest level called “the World of Infinity,” where everything is revealed. The levels of ascent are called “the worlds” and they reflect the degree of our desires’ correction.

There is no fulfillment without a preliminary feeling of emptiness. When each of us corrects his individual desire (emptiness), we give shape to the Upper Force, revealing it to the degree of our correction. This is why we ask this Force for correction rather than revelation.

The fulfillment of the desire does not happen through reception, but through bestowal. Otherwise it’s impossible to be fulfilled. To be exact, it’s possible, but the fulfillment will be limited to our world and our lifetime. Any more than that is impossible. This is so in order to enable us to arrive at another method of fulfillment – bestowal.

Then, a person is fulfilled by his love for his neighbor, by bestowal, rather than by something coming from outside. Suffering is a feeling of uncorrected desires. We perceive them as suffering because they differ from the Creator.

In Kabbalah we study our future states, and this enables us to develop. The development of one’s soul is analogous to the development of a child: by desiring to be grown ups, we draw the force of correction upon us.

One must perceive problems and suffering as a chance to advance by overcoming them. Everything happens only for one’s advancement. However, if one prepares correctly, then instead of perceiving the pain of the suffering, one will perceive its direction and move along it. In this case, instead of perceiving the suffering, one perceives the path.

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The Only Point Of Freedom Is Your Reaction To The Creator


All thoughts and desires, whether private or social, are sent to us from above, from the Creator. They all stem from the one single force of Nature (see the article “There Is None Else Beside Him”). In this case, it is necessary to be in constant inner dialogue with the Creator, to constantly examine what you discover in your mind and heart, trying to understand what the Creator is telling you, how He organizes you, and what your reaction ought to be.

First, one must realize that everything is sent from above in order to develop us. Hence one must receive it with gratitude, because it was especially chosen to suit his state and to ensure his optimal development for attaining the Creator.

After that one must make a request. After all, if a person doesn’t feel a desire to advance, if he feels like he has more important matters to attend to and other problems to solve first, that he will take care of them quickly and then return to the Creator – this too is sent to him from above, in order for him to discern, “What for?”

By engaging in calculations as to what is more important, a person forgets that he is being played with from above, that this is the Creator showing him how easily he is disconnected from Him. After all, the Creator becomes revealed only by virtue of one’s efforts to maintain a connection with Him. Everything that exists within and around me comes from Him. He exists within me, organizing everything that transpires within me and to me.

He leaves only one point independent from Him: my reaction. This is where my “I” can be expressed. This point is within me, and it awakens, becomes revealed to me, if I forcefully hang on to the realization that the Creator governs me, my thoughts and desires, from above.

This point, wherein I discern His governance from above, wherein I desire to feel Him and answer Him – is the point of truth, the beginning of one’s “I.”

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What’s The Surest Bet to Save Your Money In Time Of Crisis?


News Report (from The Economist): Figures from Morningstar, an investment-research firm, show that an American who put $100 a month for the past ten years into the average equity fund would have accumulated just $10,932 — $1,068 less than he invested. Hiding money “under the mattress” was actually a more profitable tactic.

It is hard to get individuals to defer gratification: retirement seems a long way off for someone in their 20s or 30s. So, faced with the returns from past thrift, the temptation for many will be to opt out of the system altogether. Already, the American Association of Retired People estimates that 37% of workers lack a pension plan.

My Comment: Without us noticing it, we are being taught to “live in the moment,” to consume what is necessary and not think about tomorrow. It’s like the manna in the desert: collect only as much as you need, since the rest will disappear anyway! And when we’ll get used to thinking about the necessities, our hearts and minds will be free to focus on the Upper Goal.

News Report (translated from utro.ru): The crisis of distrust is causing people all over the world to lose trust in banks. Citizens no longer feel safe keeping their savings in the bank, and prefer to invest them in real estate, gold and jewels. Some even sew their money into pillows or hide it away in safes. In Europe for example, sales of safes have increased 25% in the last two months.

My Comment: This demonstrates just how much we don’t trust anyone and what kind of future we are getting ready for.

Question: The financial crisis that we are witnessing so clearly right now is only a part of the global crisis. This raises a question: If everything in a person and in the world has to reach equivalence with the Upper Force ( the Creator), or in other words, everything must reach the quality of “bestowal,” then how will this work with money?

Money is now the material equivalent of the quality of “reception.” Will it also have to turn into an equivalent of “bestowal” for us to attain balance?

My Answer: That’s absolutely correct. Money will not disappear, but will be an equivalent of one’s work. In Hebrew, money is called Kesef, and a screen is called Masach. They both originate from the same root, the word Kisuf – to cover. Masach covers the desire, changing it from “receiving” to “bestowing.”

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Don’t Envy The Billionaires

America - Optimistic, and Why?News Report (from CNN): The CEO of Merrill Lynch was putting in for a $10 million bonus for 2008 – mostly because, in 2008, he adeptly held Merrill Lynch down to a loss of only $11.67 billion … at a time when Wall Street rivals like Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearn’s collapsed entirely. …is this guy nuts?

This was all front page news in The Wall Street Journal today, and because of that, by late this afternoon Mr. Thain came to his senses and withdrew his bonus request. Being publicly hung out to dry can be quite a motivator.

My Comment: I don’t think it had anything to do with him being ashamed. Shame is something he couldn’t feel, just as he wouldn’t be able to understand why his request was tactless. I think he was simply told that this is what he should do: withdraw his request. Besides, he may still get his bonus “under the table.” These people are insatiable and shameless because they vainly try to fulfill themselves with empty numbers and digits. But they only end up feeling emptier than before!

The Book of Zohar states that all that is received in excess of our necessities transforms inside us into a bigger desire, which will never be possible to fulfill. Hence, a person becomes even more zealous in his pursuit of fulfillment he doesn’t actually need, fulfillment that’s excessive and not necessary for his existence. Thus he is never satisfied, until he dies.

Ein Adam Met Ve Hatzi Taavo Be Yado” – “A person dies without being even halfway fulfilled.” That’s because one’s attempts to be fulfilled only make his emptiness increase twofold. So, instead of being jealous of these billionaires, you’d be better off using the method of authentic, eternal, and perfect fulfillment!

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The Crisis Will Erase The War Of The Sexes

laitman_2008-11_wife-olga_100Two questions I received on the relationships between men and women:

Question: There is still the unresolved question regarding the behavior between men and women, all the conflicts between them as a model for all types of conflicts in any relationships: if this conflict is not resolved, there will be no resolution in all other relations.

In the modern world women are seeking to get equal with men – not in doing the same work, but getting the same acceptance as men who play their childish global games while women keep on doing all housekeeping, and we know that without this nothing will work in the world.

What is the aimed behavior of the future system here? And what does Mrs. Laitman think about Mr. Laitman in regard to this subject? One can see Mrs. Obama, Mrs. Clinton, but no one sees Mrs. Laitman!

My Answer: The war between the sexes is invented. The crisis will erase it and bring everyone back to their natural roles. And when we assume our natural roles, we will feel comfortable in life.

When I was studying with Rabash, Mrs. Laitman devoted much of her physical and emotional energy to taking care of my Teacher’s family, and she has always helped me in my path. And she continues to support me today!

However, “Kol Kvoda Bat Melech Pnima” (a woman’s greatness lies in her modesty) – she doesn’t want to advertise herself or be famous. She has no desire to entertain the public. She has children and grandchildren and is completely content with that!

Question: In one of your talks about men and women you said: “If we want to have a good, happy and successful family with good children, let’s correct our internality, which will then spread to the externality as well.” So, while we are still not corrected, why should we get married and give birth to children who will be miserable?

My Answer: So that you will have what to correct! According to tradition, a plate and a glass are broken during the engagement and wedding ceremonies, which alludes to the fact that we begin our path broken and uncorrected, and we must correct ourselves together in marriage (Zivug). Hence, a husband and wife unite so that the Creator will be revealed between them (Ish Ve Isha Ve Shechina Beynechem).

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The Kabbalistic Definition Of Zion And “The Mixed Multitude”

Why Are There So Many Different Words In the Torah?Two questions I received on Zionism and “the Mixed Multitude”:

Question: What is Zionism? What does this have to do with Kabbalah and Bnei Baruch?

My Answer: “Kabbalah is the method of revealing the Creator to man in this world” (Baal HaSulam, article “The Essence of the Wisdom of Kabbalah”). Zionism is a social movement in favor of returning to Zion (Israel). The Kabbalistic definition is as follows: the Land of Israel is also called “Zion,” from the word Yetzia – “exit” in Hebrew. Any person who exits the limits of our egoistic world and enters the Upper, Altruistic World, enters “Zion.” Mi Tzion Tize Tora (the Torah will come from Zion), means that when a person exits his egoistic state, he comes to the Light.

Question: During the last two lessons, you mentioned “the Mixed Multitude.” Who is this?

My Answer: “The Mixed Multitude” (Erev Rav) are the opponents of Kabbalah who prevent people from coming out of spiritual exile and revealing the Creator. And even after a person aspires toward bestowal and love, Erev Rav prevents him from advancing by any means possible. They came in Moses’s way when he was trying to lead the people out of Egypt (the spiritual exile) toward the revelation of the Creator. They also placed all kinds of obstacles in his way during the 40-year passage through the desert.

Today they also spread all kinds of rumors. They can no longer speak against Kabbalah, because this is no longer possible, but against the people who disseminate it, including our organization. It is written that they are Irei Hashem Ovdei Paroh – those who fear the Creator, but desire to remain inside their egoism.

The Gaon of Vilna (Agra) wrote in The Light of the Zohar, 3: 28 “Adam Ve Ishto”: “In the future Moses will reveal everything to us, unlike the way it is now hidden in the Torah in the form of stories intended for Erev Rav, who do not study the inner meaning.”

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Where Is The Boundary Between This World And The Spiritual World?


Questions I received from women on connecting spirituality with this world:

Question: I’ve been studying Kabbalah with Bnei Baruch for two years, and at the same time I earned a degree in Economics. However, I don’t feel any desire to advance in the material life. My family is worried about my apathy. Is it possible to balance work in finance with spiritual growth? Also, how can I influence my family, who think that a woman has to act the way society expects her to?

My Answer: Your actions mustn’t harm your family, and everyone should feel that you are part of the family. You can study Kabbalah only if everything is normal in your regular life, and to the extent your free time allows for it.

Question: My daughter is so engrossed in Kabbalah that the rest of the world means nothing to her anymore. She puts Kabbalah before everything and doesn’t want to do anything else. She’s not interested in going to a university or working, and claims that she has the right to live however she wants to and doesn’t have to follow the social norms. I feel like we’re losing our daughter and the society is losing a citizen. She used to be a very successful student and this is the result. What should I do?

My Answer: Anyone you ask will confirm that I encourage people to get a profession, to create a family and so on, because the only way a person can correct his or her self and reach the Upper World is from a “normal” position in this world. Either your daughter doesn’t understand this or her profession isn’t practical; one that won’t allow her to make a living.

Question: Please help me understand the connection between spirituality and corporeality. On one hand, the material world is the world of effects, and on the other hand, it has nothing in common with the spiritual world. Where is the boundary that marks the end of spirituality and the beginning of corporeality, which isn’t connected to spirituality at all?

My Answer: The boundary lies in the gap between the two worlds, because they’re both felt within a person. One is felt in the intention “for the sake of oneself,” and the second – in the intention “for the sake of the Creator.”

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