Question: Is there a difference between man and woman in spirituality?

Answer: No. In each one of us there are two parts: female and male, and with them we advance. However, with respect to the unity in the group, the male and female souls are a little different in their approaches. Women unite according to their strength, whereas men must connect and unite with all their hearts, in the strongest brotherly bonds.

Here, the entire matter is the uniqueness of the soul: The male soul belongs more to GE (Galgalta ve Eynaim) and the female to the AHP (Awzen, Hotem, Peh). But both of these need to attain the most upper level, and along the women’s way, there are no special obstacles.

I very much suggest to and ask the women to worry about the men, push them to unite and connect, stand in a circle surrounding them in order to prevent them from withdrawing. After all the men stay as children all their lives. They don’t have the mechanism of giving birth and worrying about others. He doesn’t change, only grows in size.

On the other hand when a woman becomes a mother, she goes through very serious hormonal changes in one way or another. In her is concealed the same potential, the same longing, the same understanding. Thus she is more connected to life, to nature. She is more logical, more realistic. The ups and downs touch her less than they do a man since her body is used to “swallowing” these blows regularly.

This is the reason that women need to help the men, and this is spoken about a lot in the wisdom of Kabbalah. Without the help of women, the men won’t attain the goal. So take care of them like mothers who cherish their babies.
[77360]
From the Brazil Convention 5/06/12, Lesson 5

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Divorce has become very common today. There is an upsurge in the number of the divorced couples lately and their age is going down. Some of the married couples divorce in the first years of their marriage. There is a theory that marriage may have run its course. After all, life is full of temptations and it’s very hard to live with the same person for a whole lifetime.

A woman who has a family and children suddenly feels that she doesn’t love her husband anymore. He may be a good husband and a good father, yet it doesn’t matter; she simply doesn’t love him. There is a new natural phenomenon that is common among many women who suddenly lose the internal feeling of dependence and connection with their husband.

This was never typical of women. A woman who lived with her husband always got used to him and felt that she belongs to him. Suddenly all this is gone. This is a natural result of our development. We mustn’t blame the women if this is a natural phenomenon. First we have to study the phenomenon and see what to do about it.

It’s a result of our development: We leave the animate level and rise to the level of human, Adam, who resembles (Domeh in Hebrew) the global nature. Since we have to connect with this general nature now, with all of humanity, it breaks our personal private connections. Nature wants to “open our eyes,” to take us out of the family framework so that we will return to it later, but on a different level.

Everyone remembers the feeling of being in love, the strong unusual emotions, the excitement, inspiration, and the wholeness for which it was worthwhile to be together and to build a family. But with time this feeling disappeared. So why do we naturally fall in love that later disappears, forcing us to look for it all our lives?

Nature wants us to reach true love and to break off the beastly, egoistic love that doesn’t last. We have to change the instinctive attraction to the other sex, caused by natural passion and hormones, to a more purposeful connection.

The ordinary connection is formed because we are living for the children or for a shared household. In addition, it is convenient to be together since we can help each other and support each other when we grow old. But today we have to find the higher, internal connection. It’s impossible to keep a person in the old frameworks: He may throw away everything and leave. The children grow and leave the home and there is nothing to keep us together; so we’ve split everything that we have and get divorced. We see this everywhere.

In order to keep the unity of the family, we need a more sublime motive. It’s just as we have to reach peace and understanding all over the world since we won’t survive otherwise. But when we connect with the whole world because we have no choice, we suddenly discover that the main profit is not economic success at all! It was just an excuse to push us into building up better connections.

Suddenly, we actually discover that there is a totally new feeling in this connection that detaches us from corporeal life. We feel a fuller, more spiritual life. All of a sudden we discover a filling that we haven’t felt our whole life. We simply float in the air, feeling the extraordinary lightness of being without feeling death.

Before, I had to connect under nature’s pressures that set the condition: “You either connect or here will be your burial place.” But later I am surprised to discover that these relations are totally different. I simply couldn’t imagine that this will receive a higher filling, above this whole life.

It doesn’t matter how much you tell a person about this, he won’t understand. Therefore, nature pushes us from behind by suffering, obliging us to connect before we destroy one another. We connect since we have no choice only to eventually discover the beauty in this connection.

The same thing happens in the family. Now we hate one another and don’t want to be together, wanting to get divorced. But if each of us discovers in the world the lack of love, the need, and the desire to love, and if each of us understands what a sublime filling love brings, we will want to have these relations in our family. We will return to the family after we learn to love the whole world! Then we will want to reach an inner, personal connection with a spouse.

Then it won’t matter that we grow old in a number of years and are not as attractive as we used to. We won’t even pay attention to that. We’ll feel the same first love, but in a totally different way, and only after we learn to build internal relations by connecting with the whole world.
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From a “Talk About a New Life” #19, 2/02/12 

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Opinion (Ashok Gadgil, Director of the Environmental Energy Technologies Division of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory): “We are a global civilization, we have global operations, global economic activity, and we are dependent on the resources of the planet. Our civilization is so big and powerful that we can mindlessly destroy a thin film of life on our planet…

“As a result, the main task, in my opinion, is to find out what should be the laws of the new economy: consumption, population, industry, the management of society.

“Studies repeatedly show that the best way to control the population is to educate women. Education stops the oppression of women and solves a lot of social problems.

In nature, every kind wants to multiply and flourish, but all kinds live in harmony with other species on which they depend. And only a human being wants to take the whole area.

“This behavior cannot be a long-term pattern of behavior. We need to evolve, rather than to increase consumption, destroying the world. Today, few people think about future generations, everyone thinks about the current moment.”

My Comment: Kabbalah says that if we had liberated women from work and sent them to the “courses of integral education and upbringing,” we would have:

– been released from the burden of unemployment,

– ceased to produce unwanted goods,

– stopped depleting resources,

– stopped polluting the planet.

and women, freed from unnecessary work, and on the basis of acquired knowledge, would have dealt with education and upbringing of their men and children, and we would have found a solution to the crisis in all areas.
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Women ask the same questions as men during the seminar, they try to experience these things together with men, to quietly, internally participate in the solution of these problems, and at the same time push men towards the solving them. 

There are problems that pertain to women. And there are problems that they cannot solve because the solution lies in the connection between people. And this kind of problem can only be solved on the level of feelings between the men.
[76820]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/25/12, Workshop 4

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Question: How can women create a strong common desire to maximize the ability to support the men during the convention?

Answer: To this day, we cannot explain to the women that they’re doing spiritual work just as men do, the only difference being that the style of their interconnection is somewhat different from the connection between the men.

With men, it all starts with a very simple friendship, with shared activities. They swim together in the sea, sit around, share meals, and study. With women this connection is much more complicated. But when they set a higher goal for themselves and understand that for the sake of this goal they need to unite, then they can accomplish it and achieve the goal. That is, the exalted goal becomes like a master for them, and they’re prepared to unite for its sake.

Question: Do women need to prepare for the convention in some special way? Perhaps we should do it together somehow or correspond with each other? Or should we only unite internally?

Answer: The importance of unification should be the same in women as in men; this is first. And second, they need to understand that they also need to achieve unity. Women are able to unite for the sake of a higher goal, and they need to explore and scrutinize this possibility.

The Bible tells about how Moshe’s sister Miriam united all the women together before exiting Egypt, how the women worked on themselves in Egypt, and how it was precisely that feminine part which nurtured Moses, that is, the force that then pulls us out of Egypt.

Question: What should women expect from the workshops?

Answer: The women, like the men, need to discuss all the details of unification. Let them try to do that; let them discover what is for them and what isn’t. In this manner, they will find their own path in a practical way since otherwise it won’t work.

On one hand, women ask: “Why not?” But when you offer them the work of unification, they say: “This isn’t for us!” And so a problem arises. And it’s unclear what can be done, what action to take, and how to approach this problem?

Women need to unite for a common cause, like in a huge number of existing women’s organization, where women can unite in order to achieve something not between, but outside of themselves. So let them unite in order to achieve something outside themselves as well, and for that purpose they can connect—not against anyone, but for the sake of accomplishing something. They can do it!

Question: Do women need to unite in order to achieve the goal or in order for the men to reach it?

Answer: They need to unite to attain the result together. Let them clarify this, and they will see the middle point into which they need to fit exactly to complement the men. And in no way is their work any less than the work of men; it’s actually greater.

Question: How should a woman prepare her husband for the convention?

Answer: You wash, dress, and feed him, then hand him his backpack, and let him go to school. I’m speaking absolutely seriously: Prepare him like you would a child. That is, let him know that you expect great accomplishments from him, that you hope that throughout the convention he’ll really go in the right direction with good and necessary thoughts. That’s how you get him ready. When it comes to that, a woman has what’s called the wisdom of life.

Question: How do men work correctly with women’s support during the workshops?

Answer: Men shouldn’t pay attention to it yet. Later, when we really become properly interconnected, we’ll feel the women’s influence, pressure on us.

It’s good when we can sense that; it obliges us. Let’s hope that we’ll be able to feel that too.
[76299] 
From a Lecture on Unity Day Around the World, “Preparation for the Congress” 4/22/2012     

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I gave a talk about how women should prepare for conventions within the framework of the program “Rungs of the Ladder.”

The host of the program was Rachel Laitman, head of the Internet Department of the Arvut Movement.

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Question: How do we plan to inspire all of humanity? For instance, my husband is not interested in anything other than soccer.

Answer: I don’t think that you are unable to influence your husband. After all, a wife always influences her husband. His opinion will change. A woman knows how to make this happen.

The ability to influence a man was purposefully given to a woman. If it were not for her influence, men would simply be lost. It is indeed so because without a woman’s desire, which a man realizes in life, he would realize his own desires simply like a child. It would be something odd.

The reality is that the world stands on female desires, the desire for a home, family, children, and all things that are serious and necessary for our lives. This is first.

Second, what does it all mean in regard to the world? We serve as intermediaries between the world and the Creator. We have to show and explain to the world our method, which brings a person closer to love and bestowal and makes him correspond to the upper Light, the general force of nature.

We can base it on the opinions of thousands of scientists who research nature and discover a singular global quality through which nature connects elements, creates life, and operates it. If we explain and disseminate this to people, we will reduce the world’s suffering. The world will move toward goodness, connection, and life.

However, if we don’t do this, we will experience even greater suffering. We have no choice but to disseminate the method of the correction of man, of human nature, to the world. If we want to, we will accomplish it. We simply have to give it importance.

We can think about love and bestowal only when we actually disseminate the method of correction. Let’s try together.
[75935]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/23/2012, Workshop 1  

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Question: My parents got divorced and that left its imprint in me. I know that there are many people in my generation who are affected by this as well. We are afraid of women. It is very difficult to trust them.

Answer: I don’t understand your problems because we talk about absolutely different things. We don’t talk about men and women as biological bodies, a set of chromosomes, genes, and hormones.

We talk about men and women as traits of nature (and it is very important to us!), when we as adults understand how to use our strengths and weaknesses properly in order to reach a common goal. Serious people gathered here who want to reach that and don’t care about everyday problems between men and women in our regular life. We get away from a material life and rise above it. We want to use our spiritual qualities, either masculine or feminine, in order to support each other and rise. We must go together toward the goal in order to reach it.

Each of us has his or her own mission, own role, but can’t be without others. Only our mutual combination makes our connection productive.

We learn about Aviut (desire) and Zakut (screen). It is necessary to have both as complementary and equal to each other. One cannot exist without the other. If a screen were bigger than Aviut, where would it appear from the start? A screen cannot be different because it appears only on top of a desire. If a desire is bigger than the screen, it means it is no longer aimed toward bestowal, but toward reception. Thus it is important to have a right combination of masculine and feminine qualities.

I’d like to emphasize that we talk about qualities, not about hormones or other material traits. Under the concept of “a woman” an aspiration toward spiritual is meant, and “a man” is a realization of this aspiration that absolutely doesn’t apply to this world.
[75499]
From the Vilnius Convention 3//23/12, Lesson 2

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Question: Should women act as if men already are in the quality of Lishma (altruistic intention)?

Answer: No! Women should not think that men already are on such a level. They must view them as children: All of us are participating in this game together. They treat men as a mother treats her children and as a wife who sends her husband off to work.

They say that there is a woman behind every successful man, and this is really true. It cannot be any other way. So we want to be some lucky men!
[75376]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/23/12, Lesson 2

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Question: There always has to be a connection between a man and a woman. When they are a son and a mother, this connection is of the son’s love for the mother and the mother’s love for her son. When they are a husband and a wife, this connection is the woman’s love for the man and the man’s love for the woman. When these are friends who share a single aspiration and goals, there needs to be sympathy and friendship between them. What kind of connection should we have?

Answer: In our world, the connection between a mother and a child or a man and a woman and so on comes from us being on the same egoistic level and trying to achieve something on it. There are only two of us who exist: a husband and a wife or a mother and a child.

But in our case, there are three of us: men, women, and the upper force—the Creator. In Him, the three of us connect together in mutual love. It’s never the two of us who connect! This is not animalistic love or a physical dependence. It ties us together only because we have one goal, and in it, all of us connect together into one common whole. This is why this is a completely different feeling, which has nothing in common with animalistic attraction towards one another.

Pardon me saying this about a mother’s feelings for her child, for example, but basically this is what exists on the animal level.

But here only the Creator and nothing else obligates us to have this connection. It is only the Creator because we demand for Him to manifest between us. We would be absolute strangers without Him. In other words, every time there is a relationship between myself and my friend, a man or a woman, I imagine the revelation of the Creator between us.
[75374]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/23/12, Lesson 2

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