Question: I cannot count on my feelings since they are subjective and don’t reflect the true reality. On the other hand, by trying to imagine something I can be the captive of false dreams. How can I hold on to the thin line between fantasy and feeling?

Answer: First we must understand that no matter where you go, it is a wrong and false direction. So don’t try to hold on to the golden path, no matter what you do you are lost, wandering in the dark.

The only means is to adhere to the group, like a drop of semen in a mother’s womb. There is no other way. If you adhere to the group, you will surely develop with nature and you are not required to do anything more than that. Then nature, the Creator, operates on you and develops you.

This approach operates on every level, since “wandering in the dark” is typical even of the highest levels. On every level there are the stages of Ibur, Yenika (suckling) and Mochin (maturity).

Suppose you ascend from level 124 to level 125, which is the last one. Even here you totally annul yourself although all of the shattered Malchut of Ein Sof is revealed to you.

No matter how high a person ascends, there will always be the state of “he who is greater than his friend, his desire is also greater.” If on Monday 10 grams of evil were revealed to me, then on Tuesday, when another portion is added to that, it will accumulate new powers. Today it was revealed to me a little, and tomorrow it will be revealed to me with much greater clarity, according to the order of the development of the Lights. As a result, the evil I corrected yesterday is revealed to me in an even more corrupt way. Therefore, on Wednesday when I get an additional portion of evil, I discover that in addition to that, the evil of the previous day has been doubled, and the evil of the day before that has grown three times bigger. Thus is gets bigger and bigger. This is the spiritual ascent.

We can overcome that only by self-annulment and adhesion to the group, like an embryo, when I have no thoughts or desires of my own, using the friends’ feelings and mind in my self-annulment. I only want to adhere to them to feel their attitude to the Creator, to the goal, to life, to let their spirit penetrate me, so that it will determine my point of view on everything. It is as if I am floating in the amniotic fluid in the womb, in the Light of Hassadim.

All we need is to be sensitive and then this state will open up, and you will feel life in it. Even if the friends don’t feel and don’t know this, even if they don’t have such questions, it will be real for you because we are in the world of Ein Sof (Infinity) in which there are no changes. However, in the meantime it is hidden from us, and by the right approach you increase your sensitivity and your perception and gradually discover it in the spiritual levels. You don’t have to wait for anyone, act.
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From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/26/12, Shamati #3

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Baal HaSulam, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah),” Item 8: This matter is like a rich man who took a man from the market and fed him and gave him gold and silver and all desirables every day. And each day he showered him with more gifts than the day before. Finally, the rich man asked, “Do tell me, have all your wishes been fulfilled?” And he replied, “Not all of my wishes have been fulfilled, for how good and how pleasant it would be if all those possessions and precious things came to me through my own work, as they have come to you, and I would not be receiving the charity of your hand.” Then the rich man told him: “In this case, there has never been born a person who could fulfill your wishes.”

It is impossible to shake off the feeling of shame by some external actions. The only way to do so is to receive in order to bestow.

Question: Doesn’t the state of Hafetz Hesed neutralize the shame? After all what do I have to be ashamed of if I only want to bestow?

Answer: Suppose you brought me a present and I say:

– “You know that I really don’t need this. I don’t like it. And why did you give it to me in the first place if I don’t need anything? I don’t want your presents.”

– ” But I tried so hard, I have looked for so long, I wanted to please you and to express my love so much…”

– “But I don’t need anything, you didn’t have to come.”

Either, I outright reject the person, hate him, or there is no connection between us and I feel no urge to correct anything. This means that it isn’t a state of Hafetz Hesed at all.

In fact, it is about my desire and not about signs of love that people around me show me. When I am in a state of Hafetz Hesed it means that all I want is to bestow; I am ready to receive the whole world from you. Bring it to me; I have the right vessels. I will gladly receive everything with love and infinite delight and at the same time I will remain Hafetz Hesed.

It is about my vessels and not about the revelation of the connection with others. I may not need your present or I may really want it, but I ascend and receive it not because I want it. I ascend to the level of Hafetz Hesed and even higher and receive it in the vessels of bestowal in order to bestow pleasure back unto you.

We are always in the desire to receive; we either enjoy or suffer. Therefore, the state of Hafetz Hesed is not a lifeless wall that rejects any receiving. It is a level of correction of my desires to receive and it doesn’t forbid me from receiving what I want at all.

Question: But I dedicate myself to the goal of creation…

Answer: Yes, in this state you don’t need anything and you still receive a present and still want only Hassadim. It is the same state but in addition to it you work with additional desires and constantly add new forms.

This is the spiritual work, it is varied and multi-layered.
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From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/24/12, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”

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Baal HaSulam, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”: Our sages tell us about that, that the world had not been created but for the purpose of keeping Torah and Mitzvot, meaning, as our sages have explained, that the aim of the Creator from the time He created His Creation is to reveal His Godliness to others. This is because the revelation of His Godliness reaches the creature as pleasant bounty that is ever growing until it reaches the desired measure.

How do we, the lower ones, ascend to perfection? We do so by understanding the truth. We ourselves do not know this; however, applying efforts in the given circumstances, we act in an “alternative” manner, and although this is not our goal, we form the vessels for attaining the truth through the “secondary” activities. Then we reveal what it is.

That’s what rising from the lowest level to the level of the Creator means. This is done only through special help from Above. We have no direct connection with those degrees to which we ascend, and only indirectly we initiate this rise, according to the principle “labored and found.”
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From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/24/12, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”

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Question: Yesterday during the seminar, we really felt that we wanted to achieve the goal very much and were completely unable to do so. But then the aftertaste of despair remained: there are no count to these states.

Answer: True. It was what the sons of Israel felt in Egypt, a threat to remain forever under the rule of Pharaoh.

Question: In real life, if a person wants to achieve something, to learn something, he needs to pass the crucial exam. And he comes to the exam in despair because he cannot know everything.

Answer: Our examination is not based on knowledge. The task is not that you give the correct answers, but the fact of what you ask for.

Imagine that I am an examiner. Do not tell me about your positive and negative potential, accumulated during the training. Do not try to soften me with your confusion. You need to act differently here: If you really see that that there is no alternative, then bring the awareness of your own helplessness and the willingness to be changed. No more, just these two things: “I cannot” and “I have to,” and they both must be of equal strength.

So far, you haven’t obtained from the group either the sufficient demand or sufficient frustration. But they are opposite each other and depend on each other: If you do not crave the goal, you will not discover its unattainability. Both poles lack power so far. Yes, both of them have already emerged due to our workshops; however, the matter is how you fill the time between the workshops.

Question: And yet, in this world, there is a date of the exam, which I know in advance.

Answer: The time of the spiritual examination comes when you are able to pass it. Do you want it today? Please. Once you are ready, there is nothing that can prevent you.
[90918]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/22/12, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”

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Question: How can we get over the state of heaviness and fatigue that we find ourselves in lately which makes us fall asleep during the lessons? How can we wake up together and get out f this state as one global group by supporting one another?

Answer: This is the point of the exodus from Egypt, about which we have spoken so much, the point of the receiving of the Torah, the turning point, the birth. We know that a birth is accompanied by labor pains and that it is a dangerous state. At the moment of birth itself we feel the snake’s bite, the discovery of the heart of stone, because there is no other way we can be born.

The exodus from Egypt is called a “spiritual birth.” During that time the evil inclination has to be revealed and these are very dangerous states that keep us under great pressure, since otherwise we will not agree to escape from Egypt.

All these states are not so clear to a person yet. Imagine that it is a good state from which we break through to the spiritual world, to the upper world, that from this state we are born and ascend above the Machsom (barrier), above the border to the upper world. Therefore, it is the most tense state, the most dangerous state that can ever be in a person’s life. This is the state of his birth!

We always see a birth as a miracle, and to the last moment we are not sure whether it will go smoothly, although we have such modern medical equipment and we know about the process. Still, we never know what might happen and it is a very critical point.

The uniqueness of this point is that a person is under terrible pressure, and terrible fear. All his previous life has ended or is about to end. He doesn’t see his future life yet and doesn’t understand it, and it isn’t clear what it symbolizes, since in order to reach it he has to create an opening to the new world.

A person doesn’t understand how he can exist, since he has to “close what is open and open what is blocked,” just as it happens during the corporeal birth.

If we only yearn for the spiritual birth, we have to imagine this state in a very realistic way, as close to our understanding and feeling as possible, to the extent that we are ready to approach this state and to prepare ourselves to it.

The more we prepare ourselves for this state, the more we will advance towards it. This means that we need strong minds, physical strength, and good organization of all activities that enable us to go through the most difficult state that can ever be. All the roads back are blocked and there is nowhere to go ahead! Just like the escape from Egypt, when your path is suddenly blocked by the Red Sea and from behind Pharaoh’s troops are catching up with you and there is nowhere to hide.

There are different allegorical descriptions of the state of the spiritual birth and they all refer to pressure, difficulty, and threat. We have to approach them by ourselves and not to wait for some force to drag us or to push us in this direction. Otherwise we become lax and only look for how to best manage in order to stall. But we have to bring ourselves into these seemingly dangerous states.

If I understand and am conscious of what I do, I understand that it is only dangerous for my ego. It is pressing and unpleasant, but I approach it knowingly and evoke and summon the labor pains, the feeling of suffering, by myself. It turns out that it is another kind of pain, a sweet one.
[90737]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/19/12, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Question: We know that before birth the fetus turns with its head downward. What does this symbolize in the process of the group’s advancement towards the spiritual birth?

Answer: The spiritual embryo really does turn, and instead of having his head upward, he turns his head downward, as it is explained in The Study of the Ten Sefirot. Generally speaking, it is called that he changes his mind. All his values, “below reason” and “above reason,” everything in him turns and he sees what we call “I have seen an upside down world”—opposite values. The desire to bestow becomes more important for him than the desire to receive; this is the transition that takes place in him.

Then after the birth, he turns again with his head upward. It is only during the time of the birth that he is in such a state. He cannot leave this world without leaving all the opinions he has in his head. This is what the state of being with his head downward symbolizes.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/19/12, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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If a person includes two roots, his ego that so far has been simply a corporeal ego and now turns into a real evil inclination and a spiritual spark, this is already a preparation for two lines. Without this he doesn’t even have one line, since one line indicates that that there is another line, another direction.

Without it, it is simply a desire to receive that belongs to the animal level, while the human level begins when two lines begin to grow in a person, as it says: “God has created them one in contrast to the other.” Then the third line appears, which decides between the first two lines; a Light comes from Above and ties the left and the right lines according to a person’s work, and builds the form of a human.

So a human is created when these two elements appear in him: a desire to receive and in contrast to it the spiritual spark. His desire to receive isn’t just a corporeal desire for this life that looks for ways to use others and to profit more. It already gives birth to questions a person has according to the spark that illuminates on him and demands him to ask: “What is the meaning of my life and what I should do with it?” This means that his desire is already aimed at complaining to the Creator in the left line.

When a person begins to develop these two lines, he reaches a group. First he doesn’t understand what he needs it for. He begins to study, and in the meantime he doesn’t know why. But then the two lines develop in him.

He begins to go through different states for the first time: ascents and descents. The first stage of preparation ends when he understands that the importance of the goal has to be above every private state he feels.

He may be in such a critical state that his life is in danger, but he still has to be above this state, as it says: “Even if a sharp sword is placed on his neck, he shouldn’t despair of mercy.” This means that you still have to be above that feeling.

It is the same in the opposite state: No matter which state of greatness he may feel, which makes him recognize the greatness of the goal, whether a state of elation, love for the friends, euphoria, he must still understand that it all happens because he is given an illumination from Above and he is like a small kid under the full domination of the upper force.

There is no need to annul or to suppress these states in you, like people who sometimes repress their joy in order to seem more serious. Here a person should try to intensify and to deepen these states as much as he can, both the fear and the gratitude, both his ego and his adhesion to bestowal. But he himself should want to be above these feelings, in order to examine them and to control them.
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From the 1^st part to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/18/12, Shamati #212

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The Book of Zohar, “Aharei-Mot,” item 316: When they do things that are wrong and leave the correct path, the morality of the right, the Light of Hassadim. And the left dominated the right vessel. Then there are incests, and the Dinim are revealed in Bina and in Malchut, which is pubic disclosure. Woe to the villains that bring this about in the world, since they will not be blessed from Above, before the villains below will perish. As it says, and all the villains are gone, my soul blesses the Lord, halleluiah.

There isn’t one word in The Zohar that was not written from the middle line, where bestowal is above receiving; the right line is on top of the left line. Here they are balanced: The left line provides the “matter,” the desire, and the right line provides the form, the intention.

So even if we read in the Torah about terrible things, we should understand that it is about forms of bestowal. Everything in Kabbalah books is holy and even Pharaoh is holy.

All the villains in the Torah are clarifying the middle line and putting together a “topic” for it. A Kabbalist can reveal them only through the correction in the middle line and only then does he write about it in the book. So all the words, all the names in the Torah are holy, and they are expressions of bestowal.

So we have to relate to the words of The Zohar like to expressions of connection and love. In fact there is no difference between what seems attractive and what doesn’t.
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From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/16/12, The Book of Zohar

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Question: What is the indication that a person advances along the three lines and that he isn’t just deceiving himself, as if justifying the Creator in everything?

Answer: The indication of advancement is that he doesn’t just say “thank God” about everything, but that he sometimes finds himself in situations where he cannot immediately justify the Creator, although a true hero who is already high in spirituality does feel so. We have to reach a great correction in order to constantly examine ourselves and to have the powers to thank the Creator for all the evil as for all the good.

Until then, there is a long way to go through many states. Sometimes a person finds himself in such states that he cannot agree with the upper Providence, doesn’t want it and doesn’t accept it. The left line is revealed and in it “Pharaoh,” evil, begins to speak.

We have to allow time for all the evil the Torah speaks about to be revealed in us, all the sins. When a person falls into such a state of sin, he says exactly what the Torah tells us: “Who is the Creator that I should listen to Him?” He curses the Creator, and takes the place of all the famous villains: Bil’am, Balak, Haman, since he has to discover all of the left line.

If he enters the right line from the start, not in order to “salve his wounds with honey,” but in order to advance, then he leaves the left line by that. Then he manages the two lines. Otherwise it isn’t called the right line, but just a state of serenity. A line is something that is limited on both sides.
[90534]
From the 1^st part to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/17/12, Shamati #11

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Rabash’s article “What is thou shall not add and shall not derogate in the work”: A person who wants to follow the path of the truth has to allow a certain amount of time for the right path, and then he needs to follow the left line. About this we are commanded that it is forbidden to add to one of the paths more than to the other, and vice versa, if one says that today I want to follow the left line. The right path is called the phase of wholeness, when a person can be very grateful to the Creator. Then he needs to switch to the left line, to the left path, which is the time to see his real state, as it seems to him within reason. Then there is room for a prayer, since a prayer belongs to a place of a deficiency. And the greater the deficiency, the deeper from the heart is the prayer. As it says: “From the depths I called for you God.” So the two lines have to be balanced, “until the third one comes and decides between them.” Then after working in two lines, a person is rewarded with adhesion to the Creator.

The third line, the middle line, is built by the first two lines. In the first line, the right line, I thank the Creator and increase his greatness as much as I can, as much as I was impressed by the environment, the friends and the study and can imagine the Creator as great, as omnipotent, as good and benevolent, and merciful. The right line is infinite wholeness.

Then in the left line I see my true state, which means to what extent I don’t feel all that: I don’t feel that the Creator is great and that He bestows and is good and whole.

Then comes the third line from my desire to have the chance to really see the Creator as great and whole within my reason and to truly thank Him and not only in faith above reason. Then comes the third line and decides between the first two lines and thus advances a person along the middle line.

In response to such a desire the Creator gives us the power to advance and then a person attains Him. But he attains Him in faith above reason, in gratitude. Then he can already continue onwards, by constantly advancing along three lines, right, left, and middle.

In the middle line he asks that his left line be like the right line. He feels the Creator’s greatness and his own lowliness and his feeling of deficiency is born from these two lines, the left and the right—a prayer that is answered by a filling by the revelation of the Creator’s greatness.

His right and left lines are connected by that and the third line is born, the middle line. Thus a person takes a step forward, to the extent that he can raise the Creator’s greatness even higher, and then switch to the left line and see what it looks like within his reason. Then a prayer is born in him and he demands help from Above: the third line.

The first two lines depend on a person, and the third line comes from Above.
[90518]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/17/12

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