Question: In the middle of the twentieth century, a phenomenon called a “Swedish family” has appeared. Its meaning is now somewhat faded. A Swedish family is, in essence, a relationship, which is not officially registered. In Sweden, such an economic situation was formed that made it not beneficial to officially register a marriage, and many people lived in families without a marriage registration.

Many times, you have talked about the fact that it is very important to observe all of the conditions, customary in a society in order to fully realize the condition that husband and wife are one whole. Why is it so important to register your relationships, even if on a religious basis?

Answer: A human is, after all, a psychological system. And probably, there is no way out here. Since even a religious marriage, even in our society, which is far from religion, still binds you to something. Call it fear, prejudice, whatever you want, in any case the young and the old people do abide by it.

That is why I am for any culture, any religion to take part in marriage. That, nevertheless, gives a wider psychological base, not spiritual, but psychological, and a person is obliged to uphold the requirements of a marriage. In our memory, in the subconscious, there are such dark, hidden places, which remind us that marriage was entered into in front of our relatives, in the presence of a large number of people, that it has been validated in a religious sense, which proves that we are a family, and so on.

I would even give this event much higher publicity, not glamour, so that it would not mean that we are talking about material costs, but publicity. I would show these families on local TV, meaning that I would basically make it much more fundamental, so that there would be as much internal, psychological obstacles as possible against separating.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/8/12

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Question: Does the family constitute a closed system? How is it possible to correctly use the tension that it creates?

Answer: Nowadays, the family rises from the animal level to the level of the human. If people understand this, then they will need to create a completely new kind of family that comes in contact with each other, and in that creates a correct integral family cell. This cell isn’t based on animal connections, and not on shared money, even not on children, since for this purpose institutions and systems were created, which in principle, take all of this upon themselves.

Today, within a family, people are not able to stay together since the couples are not mutually bound in any way from their shared inner level. The previous level remains far behind: We are no longer materially dependent on each other, we don’t have to be together; I am not tied to the family or the home, not to the children, not to religion, not to my village, not to my work, etc. Today a person is free: He bought a ticket, and flew somewhere, and you don’t even know where. He can disappear until the end of life in some corner of the world. Who knows!

In Moscow there is a popular TV program called, “I Am Looking for You” where people look for each other. This is, in principle, the call of the times. People disappear, leave, and don’t even try to give notice about themselves! A person finds something completely different, and he, as if, discovers a new life.

We must understand, that the family rose from the animal to the human level. If we are on that level, there is no reason for them to be together, to compromise, to connect. They don’t see the benefit or the profit from it and don’t see what form of spirituality they need to create between them or how to give birth to spiritual children and not physical ones, to create that same cell that will be called “spiritual family,” and not just a cell that is connected because of shared property, an apartment, or car, etc. If we don’t bring a person to this, then there won’t be a family. This is absolutely accurate!

We need to teach people to create a spiritual family now, meaning to be mutually connected at the next level, not at the corporeal level where each person can get along on his own.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/8/12

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Question: What does it mean to ask the Creator?
Answer: Asking the Creator means that you are aware of the power that operates in the entire creation, you realize that you depend on it, and no one but It acts. You begin to feel that indeed this power exists, operates, and manages everything; then you have whom to turn to and with what.

To do this, you need to reveal that it is not you who acts, but He, for good or for evil, in which He acts, He does what you need that He would do. And He causes you all possible evil, so that you pay attention to who you are, to what extent you are not capable of anything. This is what is revealed to the world in the current crisis.

And then you start to advance in this awareness and to learn on what you really depend until you reveal Him, firstly, as the evil because you feel bad. Then, you move slowly forward, you begin to grow wiser and realize that all this is for your own good, and even if you feel bad, you know that He acts on you in order to lead you to the good, as a teacher. And although in the earthly feelings you don’t think it is good, you start to recognize His properties, become aware of his actions and understand that they are good.

You identify with Him despite the bad feeling. And this gives you a new mind and feelings, the spiritual rather than the earthly ones. And although the body is suffering, you want to adhere to the plan of creation, for this purpose more than to your body. Then you ask Him to raise you, you are performing such acts, that this upper one gives you new values so that you adhere to His mind and feelings, to His plan, to everything that He does instead of remaining in your desire to enjoy. To the extent you are asking this, to that extent, the value of bestowal and love becomes higher than reception and rejection of others. Thus, you are advancing further and further.
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From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/1/12, The Book of Zohar

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Question: When we turn to the general public we first of all propose they unite in order to solve their daily troubles. Then the real meaning of the unity will be revealed, is this true?

Answer: Yes. From an egoistic intention (Lo Lishma—not for Her sake) we move on to an altruistic intention (Lishma—for Her sake). Baal HaSulam writes about it in the Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot (items 138-139): “People turn to the Torah from the worst state.” We may ask, who let them? Who gave them permission to do so? The sources describe in legends how the angels asked the Creator: “How can You give Your Torah, Your study to such lowly creatures?” But Moses beat the angels by asking: “Do you feel envy? Is there an evil inclination in you?” This is the only way; we have to use the force of the Light in the situations that the Creator sends us on purpose when there is nothing in our soul.

So we have to present the method of correction to people and explain that we should connect and unite. The more softly and accessibly we convey this message, the faster they will accept it and will not deteriorate into real hunger and real critical states.

Today we are not dying of hunger, but we do feel the limitations and the growing pressure of the circumstances. If now, while the situation is not threatening yet, we manage to convince people, things will work out. If we don’t, things will get worse and deteriorate to a level in which we will be able to meet the masses and reach them. Then we will be able to present the right explanations to them and they will listen to us.

But we have to bring them the information about what is going on now, out of love and concern. Not even a fraction of the evil has been revealed and we already have to think about how to overcome the crisis. But today we “go out to the people” not in order to take part in demonstrations, but in order to explain.

What is more, in Israel we cooperate with other social movements in order to create a connecting network among the people. There are many organizations and circles that can cooperate with us in the process. Our participation is enough in order to start the support from Above.
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From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/5/12, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar”

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Question: How can we convince ourselves that we are waiting for not an ordinary convention, but really there will be something special at this convention?

Answer: First, we have come to the state where the world demands this. The world has long been in a “desperate state,” but all this is just masked, obscured. But no matter how you hide them, the problems have already come out from under this cover. And that is why, while they are still trying to hide something, it no longer helps.

So, on the one hand, we see that the world forces us. And this is the most important thing since Kabbalah was revealed because the world is beginning to come to integral interdependence. But no one, except Kabbalah, has the method of preserving society, peace, family, and oneself in this integral interaction.

That is why Kabbalah was waiting for this moment to be revealed and to become the method of constructing a new society. We have to demonstrate on ourselves how to do this and learn from lectures and workshops how to teach this so that it is very clear and simple.

Every person who comes to the congress, in principle, is a potential distributor who will be able to give lectures, organize workshops and roundtables, etc. At least, if a person is not able to learn everything, he will still be able to absorb something and then finish his studies in our courses. I very much look forward to it.

We have to go through all the states that a person must pass beginning from zero and finishing with full connection with each other.
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From a Virtual Lesson 7/29/12

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Question: When we looked at the system of child development, the stages are defined from the age of zero to three years, from three to six, etc. Are there any steps in family relationships?

Answer: Before marrying, I would strongly advise that all girls and boys take special courses where they study anatomy, physiology, psychology, and integral education. I would give them time, no marriage until they receive a diploma. Let them deal with each other as they want.

It’s a pity how much people spend time, resources, energy, and their health on the unsuccessful attempts to create a family. Still, it does not go unnoticed.

No matter who I talk to, everyone felt wounded, especially if they had children. You can divorce, but the children remain. Children consider the father’s leaving as betrayal. Even if he spent more time with them than living with them under the same roof, even if he showered them with presents, they would still think of him as a traitor. But if he lives in the family, though not giving them a lot of time and even punishing them, he is their father.

It is necessary to explain all this to young people, to show them scenes from life so that they feel that. Then, they will develop a completely different attitude to the union they are entering.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/8/12

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Question: Why are we engaged in dissemination as if we want to correct the world if we need to correct only ourselves?

Answer: You see other people around you who seemingly have their own power and are strangers to you. But this is the way your split perception is revealed to you, the difference between you and the corrected soul.

The corrected soul feels that there is no external world and it’s all in your heart. And as long as you can’t feel this way, it’s the sign of a fault within you. So, you need to take care of others and convince them. You need to approach them to the extent that they seem external to you.

You treat them like strangers whom you should attract to correction. And if you do it properly, then you train yourself internally. Supposedly by reaching out to people and correcting them, you really correct yourself inside, and due to that they are changing!

Do you think that you go out into the world and give lectures to others? In fact, you give the lecture to yourself. You think you are trying to change them? It’s you who persuades yourself to change!

You can’t approach yourself directly and make a correction in yourself. You have no power. By seeing flaws in others, the force of egoism helps you correct them. You have to correct yourself in such a deceptive form.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/2/12, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Question: If we have to build a new relationship that is higher than pleasure, does that mean that we cease to enjoy?

Answer: It all depends on what I enjoy. We have to demand pleasure; we shouldn’t look for sufferings. On the contrary, we should enjoy but from connection, adhesion, brotherly love, the love of the Creator. No one says we have to weep.

Our vessel is a desire to enjoy that constantly demands and checks itself to see whether it has received a filling or not. I work with a “screen and Returning Light” when I restrict my desire. But I cannot suffer from this restriction since it would not be wholeness; it would not be the right state. If you suffer because of a certain action you have performed, it isn’t a whole action. It isn’t a spiritual action.

It may eventually bring you to spiritual actions by the recognition of evil, thanks to which you will understand that you have to change. But you should know that it isn’t right. A spiritual action should be preformed joyfully. There is no pain in any movement or in any spiritual step, since otherwise it isn’t wholeness. I know that I have performed a spiritual action if I perform an act of bestowal and I enjoy the fact that I bestow. It is like a mother who gives to her child and enjoys it even more than the child himself. There must be pleasure in every action since the Creator wants to bring pleasure to the created beings.

Then we begin to discover that in these actions of bestowal there is 620 times greater pleasure. This is the reason that so many people in history tortured themselves just to feel the Creator and reached nothing. What could they feel if they brought afflictions upon themselves? It is not the right way.

On the contrary, it is your human ego that promises you that you can approach the Creator this way. This is why there are traditional fasts and restrictions in different religions. After all, the religions were created thanks to the ego, after the destruction of the second Temple and the disappearance of spirituality. People were left in the dark and for ages they perceived spirituality from the point of view of the ego, of the desire to enjoy.

The ego understands only the impure corporeal pleasure. This means that the action that is opposite from it is suffering. So whoever tortures and restricts himself more, sitting in the same position all day, meditating and living on a bowl of rice is apparently righteous.

But in the spiritual sense it is just the opposite; the goal is to bring pleasure to the created beings. So if you want to follow this goal in every action that you make, you must reach pleasure—but only from bestowal. This is the hard part. After all, how can I enjoy bestowal if I am opposite to it? So the Light that Reforms comes and reforms me.

It is very simple; we should just constantly hold on to this principle. There is no room for afflictions and suffering; on the contrary, if we aspire for connection from the start, we should feel that by that we reach life and pleasure. This is why mutual guarantee is so important because it lets each one feel how important the goal is, the high spirit, which is like a breath of fresh air.

It turns out that the pleasure is not only permitted, but it is obligatory! Pleasure is a sign of advancement. There is no prohibition to enjoy; the whole idea is the way you enjoy. Now I enjoy that fact that I receive on the account of others and harm others, dominate someone, oppress him and feel above him: I receive a great reward, domination, an understanding. I have to turn this pleasure in the opposite direction: as I would treat the one I love—like my own child or someone that is close to me.

If I treat a stranger this way, it will open up a field of study for me—a place where I can see whether I really change or not, whether I receive pleasure by helping others. Others may still be strangers and distant from me, but I correct myself and thus bestow upon others and enjoy this bestowal.

If I don’t enjoy it is not considered a spiritual action. The intensity of the action is measured not according to how much to give another, but according to how much I enjoy it in my desires. This is exactly how we advance. It is a very important point in which all the clarifications take place.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/29/12, Shamati #2

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Question: Not many are attracted to the wisdom of Kabbalah today. Should we expect the awakening of new points in the heart according to our dissemination?

Answer: I don’t have an accurate answer for this question. I don’t want to say anything that Kabbalists didn’t write about. But you should understand that there is a hero in quantity and there is a hero in quality. It says: “You are the fewest of all the people.” So in the future there will also be few people, like the members of our groups all over the world and also “fans,” outer circles, that are not aimed at the wisdom of Kabbalah directly, but who listen to and support us and feel close to us.

We are very few, but strong and powerful in height, in understanding, in recognition, in our connection with Godliness. Through us, like through lightning, the forces will flow down to earth, the recommendations, the plans and events for the general public. Then when they will have no choice or perhaps because they may believe us, people will get used to our message.

If there is one sighted person who is leading a group of blind people, Baal HaSulam says they can follow him and be sure they will reach the goal. I don’t think anything will seriously change in this scenario.

We give lectures and hold roundtables, open courses, but not in order to bring people closer, not in order to draw them to our lines. On the contrary, we should work in their “territory,” and convey the general, “popular” method of correction to them and not our special method. Masachim (screens), Lights, vessels, Partzufim, restrictions, all this isn’t for them. People only need to know about the general connection that would ease the corporeal life.

This is our message to the public. We shouldn’t “inject” Kabbalah and the high material into them. We should speak to people at eye level, at the “pulse of his heart,” about what worries him: the education of his children, his daily troubles, etc.

We should emphasize and evoke his deficiency a little and show him that we can calm him and fill him by our method.
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From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/1/12, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar”

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Unity Evening in Gaash, Seminar Unity

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