The Zohar, Chapter “BeShalach (When Pharoah Sent),” Item 441: It is written about that, “You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together,” meaning one should not give room to the evil kinds because man’s actions awaken what need not be so. When they mate together, it is impossible to stand up to them. A Klipa called “dog” comes out of their side, and this is the fiercest of all….

The Zohar also says that our every effort and action immediately exposes the Klipa (shell), and a person fails, immerses into the Klipa, and then gradually performs a correction and comes out of it. In this way, he clarifies the Klipa and does not need to be in it any longer.

That is, ascending the spiritual degrees always starts with confusion, the mixing between good and bad. At the beginning, any state is unclear to me. Undoubtedly, there is both good and bad in it.

I have to attract the Light that Reforms to this state. By manifesting in this state, the Light pulls the evil down, and I rise upward using the good. Hence, in any state I reach, I first sense a lack of clarity, and only the Light splits it into two.

At first, the Light helps me reveal the evil, as it is said, “I created the evil inclination,” and I throw it down. Then, there is “…and I created the Torah for its correction because the Light (Ohr Makif) in it reforms.” Then I rise upward to the good desires.

Hence, “There is no righteous man who does good without first having sinned.” We always need to reveal the evil first and “cast it off,” meaning to be immersed in it, imbued with it, realize that it is evil, and only afterward get rid of it and reach good.

This happens with any clarification, with every tiniest detail. So don’t be frightened if it happens with you every second. On the contrary, the more often it occurs, the better.
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From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/14/10, The Zohar

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Question: What is the inner work in the group between circles (Igulim) and the “straight line” (Yosher)?

Answer: Before I was satisfied with success in the corporeal world, but then I suddenly felt that something was missing in my life, and I began to search for a place where I would feel better. Thanks to this sensation I have come to the science of Kabbalah, but who was it that pushed me to it?

My questions are called “the desire for fulfillment” (Hissaron). I (my “point in the heart”) had existed in some “round” place and suddenly felt bad. In other words, a certain tension had emerged between me and my environment, a difference, a “delta.” I felt this delta (difference) as evil, as I was tormented by the question “What am I living for?” because I do not feel satisfied and balanced.

From this sensation the Surrounding Light had already begun to influence and move me since the preservation of balance is a law of nature. The Surrounding Light is what is pushing me to a state of balance.

I had begun to move and had transitioned into my next state; I began to look for answers in say mysticism, then came to some philosophy, and ultimately arrived at the center of the circle: the science of Kabbalah.

So who was it that has been leading me along this entire path? It is the Surrounding Light! I have always existed in it, only I didn’t always realize it. Thus I pass through the 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th states.

In the 2^nd state, I was calmer with respect to the Surrounding Light because I felt less pressure than in the 1^st state. But after spending some time in that state, I was influenced by the Surrounding Light and began to feel that this state is not very good. That is, I increased my sensitivity to the Surrounding Light, which caused me to feel bad again! And again I began to search.

Thus I am pushed by the Light every time. In essence, I don’t do anything myself; it’s the light working on my desire, until I reach the very center.

At the center is a totally unique quality called a “group.” In this point the Surrounding Light (Ohr Makif) and the Inner Light (Ohr Pnimi) cease to influence me entirely.

I exist in the central point of all the “circles” (Igulim) where they do not function and also at the end of the “line” (Yosher) where it does not function. So what am I to do?

And here is where I need to act independently, for I find myself at a point of free will. Presently Light does not act on me, but waits. To the extent that I can bring myself out of this state of balance, the Light will begin to influence me!

I connect to the group, and all the additional desire that I receive from it elevates me! This desire pertains to the line, for I have received it from the group.

When my desire falls within the line, I find myself once more under the influence of Igulim (after all, I do not yet have a screen [Masach] and do not belong to Yosher), and once more I feel a difference between myself and the circles.

This leads to the Surrounding Light influencing me. It is not the general Light, but one that belongs to the Light for I have received my desire from the group, which is the line. This Surrounding Light in the line wishes to elevate me for the two of us to be in balance.

Herein lies the Segula (remedy), the miraculous power of the Torah, for this light influences me and elevates me in this straight “tube.” I rise on account of the Surrounding Light, but this Light influences me to the extent that I actualize my freedom of will in the group, by connecting to it in collective study.

Herein lies our entire work! Baal HaSulam explains it in the book, Beit Shaar HaKavanot, which is the foundation of all our intentions to reach bestowal. Therefore, I can only ascend “in the line” with the help of an additional force, which I receive from the group. According to the desire received from the group, the impression of the goal’s importance, the Creator’s greatness and the paltriness of my own ego, the Surrounding Light begins to influence me.
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From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/14/10, Rav Yehuda Ashlag “Beit Shaar HaKavanot”

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Question: I came to the Convention with an enormous desire to break my egoistic shell. I keep having thoughts that I am able to do something right now, yet I am not doing it. I am afraid that this Convention will go by, but nothing will change in me; only impressions will remain. What do I need to do right now, right this minute, right this second, at this precise moment?

Answer: First of all, all of us ask ourselves this question. Right now you are connected with everyone, you have the same aspiration, anticipation, and this is what will remain from your entire life. Nobody knows how your life will be spent, but this moment is inscribed on your “spiritual account” for good.

It is written that when a human soul lands in the divine court, two questions are asked of it: “Did you study the Torah (did you want to attract the Light that Reforms?)” and “Did you await salvation (to rise above your ego and ascend to your second nature)?” This is exactly what we are trying to realize here. And it is good if every one of us feels that there is something that he must do, but he is incapable of doing it.

This is very unpleasant and reminiscent of birthing contractions because we want to birth our next state, but we are unable to do it. But a new degree is born within us from Above precisely thanks to these efforts.

So what should we do? Open our hearts a little bit more, connect with others a little more, feel that the Creator must be revealed between us and manifest in us slightly stronger, thereby bringing us closer together and lifting us to the second nature.

This is exactly what the Kabbalists write about. Today we are in a state when all Kabbalah material has been revealed to us, everything has been explained dozens of times. We need to do a little more, but not in studying or circulation, but specifically in unity like the one we have now, at this Convention.

Try to feel everyone in your heart, and let the Creator do this job! Pull Him where you feel that you are incapable of doing it! The Creator tells Moses: “Come to Pharaoh!” same way we take a small child by his hand. This is because Moses in us, the point in the heart, is afraid of Pharaoh. Naturally!

We are incapable of doing anything against this monster, our ego. I feel that I want to conquer it, but I am unable to. But a moment after I do not want to conquer it at all for he rules over me. And this goes on over and over.

This tiny spark that remains in me from the previous spiritual state is unable to do anything. I must grab on to the Creator with the help of this spark, and then I will be able to resist my ego. Our ego is such a monster that we are unable to do anything against it.

I just hold on to the Creator’s hand and want to be with Him like a child who pulls the adult by his hand and asks him to get him what he wants. This is how we should advance: “I want to connect with others! I want to achieve our unity! I want to achieve the desire where the Creator will be revealed!”

I grab on to the Creator through this tiny spark, but it is merely a spark, while I must catch Him entirely, unite with Him. And then suddenly the ego, Pharaoh, begins to gradually vanish and disappears… Yet I stay with the Creator united with other points in my friends’ hearts, and this is how the spiritual degree becomes revealed.
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From Lesson 4, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/10/10

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In spirituality, if you aren’t going all the way, then you aren’t working with your entire desire. Then it bears no relation to your spiritual progress. However, you don’t even know where “all the way” ends, what is the maximum. You can only imagine it in some way.

Thus, we have reached a state where we wished to reveal the spiritual world completely – everything we could only imagine. With this maximal intention we arrived at the Convention. We wanted this and nothing less, so the “heavens would be revealed.”

But what became revealed to us instead? How much we are internally unable to come even one inch closer to it! We cannot accept the need to unite, to cancel ourselves.

As soon as we started talking about the connection between us and the inner work we have to do, our desire immediately cooled down. We are not ready to attain the spiritual world with that price tag!

This means we had misunderstood the Upper World and did not realize that it was the quality of bestowal, above our egoism. Yet we felt this necessity. After three days filled with many inner actions, we came out disappointed. And this disappointment comes from the fact that we are unable and do not desire to attain true spirituality. We desire to remain in our definition of spirituality as something that is simply good, eternal, and pleasant in our current, egoistic desires.

What did we reveal? It was the left line, our own evil inclination, the fact that we desire to receive spirituality inside our egoistic desires just like in the material world. Why didn’t we receive it? It’s because it’s not necessary to receive anything in spirituality. It is open. If you want to bestow, then go ahead. Everything’s permitted and anything is possible. No one can steal that from you.

In other words, inside our ego we revealed that our definition of spirituality was incorrect. And this will become revealed to us on all 125 levels! Now we still don’t see that our nature is opposite to the spiritual nature, that we are unable to attain it, and that we have one single opportunity left: only to cry to the Creator, to ask Him. This is already the right line. We have to rise above ourselves and the middle line will emerge from that.

Nevertheless, we have accomplished great work. The despair that took over us, the pain and futility that became revealed in us showed us the inability to attain the spiritual world inside our egoistic desires. In essence we were asking for spirituality to become revealed precisely inside these desires, rather than in the bestowing desires. Now, after this realization of evil, we will enter the right line, will correct ourselves, and attain the middle line.

Therefore, what we accomplished at the Convention is a great attainment. It really is the beginning of the spiritual path already. This has never happened on such a big scale and in the great egoism of the last generation. Baal HaSulam writes, “I am happy about the sinners that become revealed because the reason for it is the ‘holiness of the day.”’

A great Light had to pour from Above in order to show us how much we don’t desire and aren’t capable, how opposite we are to spirituality, the degree to which we do not want to think about unity and love between us. All of that is “holiness of day” because we united together and nevertheless desired to ascend spiritually in some respect.

We revealed the degree or desire above which we have to ascend. However, for now we are unable to do so, yet we have to do it in order to ascend to the first degree of the spiritual ladder.

That is why I am very happy with the results of the Convention and I very much hope that in the near future we will already reveal all three lines as the middle line.
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From the Weekly Torah Portion on 11/12/10

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In order to acquire a new perception, we need a big desire that will allow replacing the tendency to consume with the aspiration to bestow. This transition towards an inverted perception of the world with an aspiration to bestow is extremely difficult. It is similar to birth, and birth is always an extraordinary phenomenon, even during the age of modern medicine.

The infant breaks away from a special place that he was attached to. Here he used to receive special nutrition and protection; here he was subject to special laws of development. The environment did not reject him; rather, it nurtured him. Now he enters a hostile world, a new environment, where he must struggle to live and grow. This is an unparalleled revolution in his life.

The same happens during the spiritual birth. A new universal sense becomes revealed, a sense of external sensations (outside of the womb or this world) based on bestowal, and thus, we begin to perceive a new world in it.

At the Convention we took a big step ahead in this direction. We really wanted to be born, we slightly experienced contraction and saw that we are unable to do it. We felt something stopping us and throwing us back right away. In combination with the good force that draws us forward, we felt a bad force that pushes us back into the mother’s womb, does not let us leave its boundaries, this world, and does not let us feel the new world.

We need to feel several contractions like this before we are born. The quantity and the frequency depend on us. Anyway, the birthing process will not end without them, and we will not make it outside.

Two forces collide during birth: our pressure from within and the opposite snatching from the outside. Their confrontations beget a new strong desire in us to end up in the spiritual world. We cannot do it without this desire.

Birthing contractions in the Torah are referred to as the “plagues of Egypt.” Our egoism must experience ten (the full dosage of) afflictions, which become imprinted on the desire and turn it into the shape of a vessel, a Kli. This way a shapeless “piece of clay” becomes a vessel ready to receive the Upper Light, the spiritual world.

We must experience the contractions in order to take the correct shape, without which it is impossible to perceive anything spiritual. We entered this process at the Convention. With regard to the Light, it is around us and is waiting for a place to enter.
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From Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/12/10, “Come unto Pharaoh – 1″

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The purpose of our entire work is to reveal the Creator. We lack Him. Beside Him, there is nothing else in reality.

The Creator is the all-inclusive force that we are part of, even though we do not perceive it. Our egoistic desire does not distinguish the Creator, it is not tuned into the same wave, does not possess the property that He does. This is why we work specifically on our desire that needs to be changed, redirected in order to reveal the Creator according to the law of equivalence of form.

Right now we see, hear, touch, and smell in our desire. By changing it, we will expand the range of sensations. But this does not mean that we will increase the sensitivity of our senses through additional tools, such as radars, radios, telescopes, or microscopes. We do not increase the sensitivity of the egoistic desire. Rather, we are changing its essence, we switch it over from the internal perception onto the external one and add an ability to detect things that are on the outside instead of those that come inside.

When the desire becomes transformed this way, it expands from the five physical (corporal) senses (sensations) of sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch into the five spiritual senses or Sefirot: Keter, Hochma, Bina, Zeir Anpin, and Malchut. Now it operates in the opposite manner: It bestows instead of receiving, and we perceive the higher reality in it through the aspiration to bestow.

Even though we are not yet familiar with it, things can change. This is what the people who have already done it and acquired a completely new life tell us.

Right now we live in a reality of five senses, a picture of a world painted by an egoistic desire. But once we switch the intention of perception, we come out from within us and start perceiving the external reality in the property of bestowal, which we acquire in addition to the property of reception that we already have.

This is a new world that becomes revealed to us in the five new senses. It has its own colors and sounds, mind and movements of the soul, that is, it has everything that we have here and much more than that, much more clear and perfect. These are our earthly roots.

This is what we need to reach, what we want to come to. After all, our egoistic desire that operates according to the principle of consumption has already exhausted itself. Our egoism becomes increasingly desperate, and we are losing interest for “the film” that we have already seen and reviewed. We no longer care for this life’s film, and it no longer fulfills us.

The entire mankind is coming to this. Perception turned inwards no longer pleases us. We have exhausted its reserve and now begin to strive towards external perception. Only once we change our desire and switch to the outside from the inside will we see an inverted world, the world of bestowal, as it is said, "I saw a reverse world" (“Olam Afuch Raiti”).
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From Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/12/10, "Come unto Pharaoh – 1"

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We exist in the system of precise laws. Everything we discover we build independently. In the descent from above downward, everything exists in the form of Reshimot (reminiscences), the primordial foundation, and while ascending from below upward, we uncover all the characteristics of these Reshimot, and through our desire, attainment, and aspiration, we create the picture of the world from these parameters and form spiritual rungs.

This is why we cannot leap through the stages of development and jump onto a complete rung. There is nothing complete. The rungs are not ready; they exist in concept, in the form of Reshimot, and are not filled with life.

When all the necessary data are entered into our system, when all of us mutually connect and desire to revive Malchut (Kingdom), the Reshimot come alive and reveal the picture of the world to us. Malchut is the world.

Question: What does “to revive Malchut” mean?

Answer: I reach Malchut, the place where the Reshimot are stored, and revive these Reshimot with my effort, desire, and life force. In Malchut, all Reshimot mutually link and the spirit of life flows in them, all because of me.

I raise my spiritual desire and in accordance with this desire, Malchut attracts the Light from Above, and I see the picture of the world in it. I always see my own picture of the world, all the 125 rungs, in Malchut of the world of Atzilut (Nobility).

If I demand, beseech, and desire to revive the entire system that is contained within Malchut in its primordial, broken condition, I will see this picture filled with life. This is what is called my spiritual life.
[26006]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah lesson 10/31/10, Rabash “The Need for Love of Friends”

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When spirituality becomes revealed to a person, he or she begins to feel that a certain force fills the entire space around him, that it exists in this world. It is as if the air becomes more dense, thick, and gentle. This is the Creator’s force, the force of bestowal, the force of love that fills the entire world of a person.

We must evoke and demand it so it would reveal itself to us as a force that connects us together. Through it we will begin to perceive us all as one whole.

We just need to pay more attention to it, search for it lovingly and sensitively. Let us begin to feel it!
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From Lesson 4, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/10/10

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Question: I feel that the principle of spiritual work, “If I am not for me, then who is for me?” contradicts another principle, “There is none else beside Him” and connecting with the group.

Answer: I have to say to myself: “If I do not help myself, no one will help me reveal the Creator” because this refers to the desire to reveal the Creator, the property of bestowal. Nobody can help me with this. I can read a thousand books and listen to a thousand lessons, but at the end, the development of the desire is my inner work. I will reveal spiritual life (in the property of bestowal) only if I desire it instead of this life (in the property of reception).

There is no point in waiting for someone to help me. My desire should be so strong that for me “death is better than a life like this!” After all, this life is no life for me. I must attain spirituality!

Here I have to act according to the principle “If I am not for me, then who is for me?” This is because the Creator will not reveal Himself on His accord, He will not force the desire for Him on us. He gives fulfillment, not the desire. There is no coercion in spirituality.

But as soon as “If I am not for me, then who is for me?” reaches its completion, that is, I begin to understand that this only depends on me, then I immediately discover that I am unable to do it. I hate my egoism and I fear it like Moses fears Pharaoh. And then “they cried out because of this work” to become free of the power of the ego because neither I nor anyone around me can help me.

When we attain these two sensations, the lack of help from the inside and the outside, it is referred to as the last birthing contractions. Then desperation bursts from the very depth of the heart, and only then the Upper Force, the Light (GAR de Hochma), which births man on the spiritual degree becomes revealed. At that point, the principle of “There is none else beside Him” begins to operate.

This is why there is a stage of “If I am not for me, then who is for me?” and then that of  “There is none else beside Him.” This is because I cannot reveal that “There is none else beside Him” until I complete “If I am not for me, then who is for me?”
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From Lesson 4, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/10/10

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We are disappointed from being unable to break through our egoistic shell (Klipa) and unite into one Kli. We have revealed that there is something lying between us that does not allow our hearts to merge into one desire and leave aside the bodies and this world.

In the end, this shell must show us that we are powerless before it. The huge desire to attain the goal, together with the inability to attain it ourselves, leaves us no other choice but to turn to the Creator.

Until we become totally disillusioned in our own powers and passionately wish to attain the goal, we forget about Him. Even if we would post notices all around us saying that it is necessary to ask the Creator for help, we still wouldn’t have a need for Him. This need comes when: 1. We desire it with everything we have, and 2. We are unable to enter the spiritual world. That is when we begin to attain and realize the fact that only the Creator can help us.

We received the first, wonderful disappointment at the Convention, and that is a great possession. Now we must only understand what we received, and while constantly thinking about it, strengthen our sensation.

Thought increases the desire, bringing out all of its components, and this enables us to keep advancing without new troubles by simply trying to clarify the state we were in more and more. This is enough. That is how we will form our demand to the Creator since there is none else besides Him and only He can help us oppose Pharaoh.

Besides, we will understand that the Creator acts in both directions. Pharaoh is also the Creator, but from the other side. It says in the Torah, “Let us go to Pharaoh for I have hardened his heart.” The Creator warns us about this ahead of time, “I am standing on your path. Do you want to break through? Then turn to Me with a request because I am the one who arranged this obstacle for you, and with My help you will break through.”

It is written concerning this, “My sons have defeated Me.” There is none else besides the Creator, but in order to realize this and demand His help, we need joint efforts, aimed at one goal: How to repel Pharaoh and be born to the Light.

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