Question: What is a good indicator that we are on our way?

Answer: A good indicator is one’s discovery of the deficiency from which the spiritual Kli (vessel) is constructed. As it is written, “God will complete for my sake.” This means that, in response to this deficiency, the attribute of bestowal will truly arrive. Through it, our spiritual Kli will be filled.

We were given the initial Kli, HaVaYaH, about which it is said, “I the Lord do not change (Ani HaVaYaH lo Shiniti),” “Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey,” or the four stages of the direct Light. We can broaden it only by attaining the root through the tip of the “Yod” through which all of the HaVaYaH is filled to the same extent to which we open to Her the place of fulfillment, our deficiency.

The fulfillment is measured by the extent of bestowal that is acquired by this HaVaYaH (Yesod of Neshama – foundation of the soul). The soul (Neshama) is filled with the letters: “Yod-Vav-Dalet” (the complete spelling of the letter “Yod”), “Vav-Yod-Vav” (the complete spelling of the letter “Vav”), “Hey-Yod” (the spelling of the letter ”Hey”), and so on.

How can the Kli of HaVaYaH, the “skeleton” of the soul, be filled with letters? After all, the letters are also Kelim. Does that mean that I seemingly fill a pail with empty cups? Is that called filling? I wanted to be filled by the Light! The bestowal that the Kli acquires is specifically called the Light. It fills it, and it doesn’t need anything else.

Therefore, the acquiring of deficiency for the desire to bestow is the essential preparation of the person himself. When the desire to bestow arrives, it will fill the Kli with longing for bestowal, for love. There is no other filling: only this!

When a person is filled with the attribute of bestowal, he studies the Creator, the upper force, and becomes like Him. It is especially in this that he feels the fulfillment, that is to say, the filling is the Masach (screen) and the returning Light.

This is what we need to long for, to prepare for. All the work is just for this purpose. The main problem is not to become confused and not to replace the real fulfillment from bestowal, from the desire to bestow, the desire to love, with other fillings. No other fulfillment is able to give us more from this corporeal life than the very “small candle” and the awakening to spiritual life, meaning a kind of weak luminescence that stimulates the desire to receive and forces it to search for real fulfillment.

Therefore, all of our work is to search for the correct deficiency, and thanks to it, we become familiar with the Creator. That is what we can add to His work.

The Creator created the desire to receive, and we add to this desire our new correct form. We take this raw material and sculpt from it what seems to us as good and correct. Thus, we complete the creation.
[68034]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/30/12, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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How can I determine whether I advance towards the Creator with the intention of in order to bestow or for some other self-benefit? There are many people who are ready to “die as martyrs,” but how can you tell whether it is the greatest egoism or whether it is truly bestowal and self-sacrifice?

How can I check myself, daily, every moment, whether I am desiring to bestow upon the friends, life, myself, and the Creator or in order to somehow profit from them?

How can I test this? After all, without such examination, I don’t know where I am. It could be that I have been going along for twenty years but I actually went in the opposite direction from the goal: instead of bestowal to receiving. And I could complain that I haven’t reached revelation yet and that I am now powerless. But it could be that I went backward, as it is written, “It is better to sit and do nothing,” than to go in the wrong direction.

The examination is very sharp and simple: I have to yearn for what I hate: It is very simple. If I hate someone and want to feel bestowal towards him, then I have to love him without annulling my hate.

But if I don’t feel hate towards someone, I cannot check in what kind of a relationship we are: whether it is in order to receive or in order to bestow. If I build a relationship with someone, and I begin to think less of him than before, it is a good sign. It is a sign that I discover my ego. And I decide that I continue to reinforce our connection and turn the one I hate in to a loved friend, above my power, against my will, when I oblige myself to love him.

If I don’t succeed in that, I ask for it during the lesson and do all kinds of tricks in order to love him. This is because it is clear to me that the love must ride on top of the previous hate and that these two feelings have to coexist, as the right and left lines. I connect them and build the middle line without annulling either of them: not the right one and not the left one, as it written: “Love covers all sins.”

This means that the sins are necessary, so that above them there will be love. Then I look at our relationship differently. Hate is revealed? Never mind! It is a sign that now love will be revealed!

So I try to feel it and see that it doesn’t work out. I go through ascents and descents and different problems, and it is all in order to need help from Above. Then I cry out to the Creator: “Help!” The Creator is the middle line, Keter, from which the two lines come to me: the right line and the left line. If I am below, in the middle line (in the Sefira of Da’at), I ask and receive help from Him.

This means that these two opposing forces: the bestowal and the receiving, which come from Him, are needed only in order to stabilize me in accordance with Him and to focus me on Him. Thanks to them I feel and understand what Keter is. Actually they are what stabilize my reality.
[68201]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/31/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”

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Question: If I like to hear The Zohar read in Hebrew, should I do that or should I listen to the translation?

Answer: Yes, and no. If it helps a person understand Hebrew better, then it is worthwhile. However, if you stay on the same level, then no, because eventually, while reading The Zohar we advance through the PARDES in the reverse order. I go through the different stories from the secret (Sod) to the allegoric literature (Drush) then to the hint (Remez) and to the literal meaning (Pshat).

At first I really don’t understand what it is about. Then in Drush, I begin to understand that it is about certain attributes in the general vessel, which is broken and which must be revealed in this way. The style that is used to tell this is Drush and Remez, and in the meantime I don’t distinguish between them. Afterward I begin to advance and then instead of Drush and Remez, I begin to see the network of connections among us more clearly.

In the article “The Four Worlds,” Baal HaSulam writes what the four worlds are: Assiya, Yetzira, Beria, and Atzilut: the revelation of matter, the revelation of the action, and the revelation of the operator.

We advance in reading The Book of Zohar until we begin to see that it is only about the connection among us: to what extent it reaches correction thanks to the revelation of the Creator in it, where the deficiency that comes from us is, where the correction is, and how they operate together like oncoming waves that come and go. And so time after time, the network among us is gradually revealed, in all its different manners.

All this refers only about the mutual connection between us, which is built, expanded, and revealed thanks to the revelation of the power of bestowal, the Creator. It fills the void between us and thus, He is revealed. Our bestowal and His revelation appear as one whole.

Therefore, before I come to look at this picture, I feel the difficulties in discovering it that start from the Sod, which is the beginning of the PARDES.
[68204]
From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/31/12, The Zohar

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We must constantly ask ourselves whether each day we better understand: what the need for redemption is, the preparation for it, and the spiritual vessel we have to prepare in order to go out to the desert. Do we have a deficiency for that?

The deficiency should be made of two parts: Malchut and Keter. Malchut is the deficiency, it is what I lack, and Keter is the respect I have for this deficiency, it is my assessment of this desire having the greatest importance..

We need a Masach and the returning Light, in other words, the ability to bestow. After all, the Masach itself isn’t bestowal yet, and neither is the returning Light; they are only the conditions. But we need them, because other than that, nothing is required of the spiritual vessel. The filling will come according to the Masach and the returning Light,

It is called a filling because the Creator, the Light of Hochma, is dressed in the filling afterward; it will be the direct result of the correction of the vessel.

The Masach and the returning Light are built on the desires and cannot exist without its depth and strength (Aviut). Therefore, love cannot exist without hate, without a strong, deep desire it is impossible to overcome it. This is how it should be built: one inside the other.

Therefore, when we are about attack, we have to see whether we’ve actually revealed our egoism, which we should attack now. Who are we attacking? There is nothing but the desire to receive and the desire to bestow, and we have to clarify this before we attack.
[68292]
From the preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/1/12

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Reading The Book of Zohar helps us hasten time. If I need to develop for 5-10 years, then reading The Zohar can bring about these changes in me in several lessons or even less.

This is the difference between the level of the animate and the level of the speaking, although the two cannot be compared. No matter how much a beast wants to, no matter how much it jumps, no matter what it does—in its entire lifetime, it will not be able to perform one action that is similar to a human or even a small child. This is the difference in the levels of development.

Therefore, if we read The Zohar and don’t think about the actions that the Light can perform on us, our development will be very slow and may even be negative because in any case, the Light performs changes in us.

But if we add the right intention, then the reforming Light develops us from self-love to love of others, to resembling and becoming equal to the Light, and we reach the opening of the eyes.
[68301]
From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/1/12, The Zohar

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How can we imagine the upper state in which the Creator reveals to you that He loves all those that hate you and hates all those that love you, including yourself? It seems that it brings you no good and that there is nothing worse than that. Before you are Pharaoh, Bilam, Balak, Amalek and Hitler all in one and you know how to overcome this because this also comes to you from the Creator, although indirectly.

The more we advance towards love, the greater the obstacles we come across. You overcome them and the “angel of death” becomes the “holy angel” in your eyes.

Question: I don’t understand this state. After all, the Creator is still perceived as good and benevolent. Do I see it together with the suffering of others and my own suffering in the past?

Answer: You see all the suffering that is in reality. This is a horrible picture: monstrous suffering, not one gram of pleasure, not a day of rest, only pain and suffering for thousands of light years. The suffering is everywhere. There is total emptiness in the desire to receive, not here and there, not from time to time, but one hundred percent suffering.

This state is called the illumination of the Shechina, and above it, you reveal the good and the benevolent. Otherwise, how would it be possible to discover Him? If the Creator just brings you goodness, then you discover Him in egoistic vessels. But if you discover Him in the full depth of the black abyss that is in front of you, then He is discovered in your vessels of bestowal that are aimed at bestowal.

Furthermore, you will see that He is good only towards those who are as bad as He is, and bad towards those that are good, in contrast to Him. This is how it will seem to you.

Our work is only in rising above the vessels of reception. If you see that the Creator’s actions do not match bestowal, it appears to you intentionally as an obstacle on the way, above which you have to rise.

Question: And what do I discover after this ascent?

Answer: The desire to receive, the general vessel of Malchut of Ein Sof, in a totally empty form: darkness, despair, worry, and fear, the dreadful trials of Job, and you fill it with the Light of Hassadim and with love.

Question: That means that after having corrected myself I feel good, no matter how much darkness is revealed to me. And now I look at the past and what do I see? Have I suffered or not?

Answer: This is already the next level, which you have to determine. In Gmar Tikkun (End of Correction) you don’t see that you’ve suffered of course.

Question: And what is the suffering that I feel now?

Answer: Now you are not the same person who will attain Gmar Tikkun. Eventually you will not recognize yourself in your present state. The feelings that were left behind are not you.

Question: So what am I now?

Answer: Something virtual.

Question: So what do we need all the present states for?

Answer: You feel them in order to prepare yourself, when you do everything that is in your power. It says: “I have exerted and I found.” You are getting ready until you find, until you rise above the Machsom (barrier), until then, the real “you” doesn’t exist.
[68061]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/30/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”

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Question: In the “Introduction to the Study of The Ten Sefirot“ Baal HaSulam says that a person can enslave and force himself to keep the 612 Mitzvot. What does that mean? What is the action he speaks about?

Answer: After a person reveals his 612 desires in all the 125 degrees of his desire, in all the forms and the incorporations, he tries to work in them with the intention of in order to bestow. This effort is in asking for a Masach, which he receives and tries to bestow with it. Then a person fulfills all the desires of others that are revealed to him.

Thanks to this correction he reaches the 613th desire, the final desire of love that is the incorporation of all the other desires. The general, comprehensive desire is revealed to a person, not as one of 613, but as the combination of all of them, the whole spiritual vessel, a totally new and unfamiliar desire that cannot be attained in any other way. In it a person discovers the Creator.

He sees the great vessel, which he filled when he acted with the intention of in order to bestow and that he treated like the Creator. Then a person suddenly understands the Creator, not his actions, but the Creator Himself. It is written, “From Your actions we shall know You.” Now a person understands not only the goodness with which the Creator fills all of us, but the Creator Himself.

We don’t know what this is. It isn’t about the Creator’s attitude towards us, but the Creator Himself, in a pure form, without regard to us. I have attained an equivalence of form with Him.  Now I see what it means to bestow, and from these actions I attain Him, I attain the upper half of Keter.

This is what the Creator wants from His created being. The whole creation exists for this peak up there. This is where I attain the Creator disconnected from the creation.
[68056]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/30/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”

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Question: Can I oblige myself to change internally? Is there such an action? For example, if I constantly think and worry about the friends’ intentions and set an alarm clock to remind me to do that, will I be able to measure the result of these efforts?

Answer: I don’t know the result. I exert myself and I don’t know what I will find.

Question: How can I examine things this way? What is the purpose of such a study?

Answer: Carrying it out. If you did it, the result will be positive. All other questions and claims come from the ego, “What do I get from this? Do I lose anything?”

Try to detach yourself as much as you can: There is a mission and I don’t need anything else. The alarm clock rings and I think about the friends. Then they disappear from my sight until the next ring. That’s all.

We can succeed. The problem is the inner weakness: You don’t have enough audacity. After all, audacity towards Heaven opens up the doors for you.

At the moment you see things intelligently and without attracting attention you are trying to turn the doorknob quietly and slip inside. But no, you should pound on the door so that it will swing open.

Question: How can I acquire this audacity towards Heaven?

Answer: Audacity is not when I doubt things indecisively: “Is it worth it? Perhaps we are not worthy of it yet? Perhaps we should first accumulate power and knowledge….” Audacity is when I demand although I know that I don’t deserve it. I know it and I demand it as if the Creator owes me.

And this is justified. I understand that I cannot exit my ego, that the Creator has created me this way so that I cannot really connect with the friends. I know that I am standing in front of a wall because I have discovered this after the efforts I have made. I have already tried many things and I have already attained certain things, but all my achievements are futile in front of this wall. Each time the evil inclination overtakes me and tells me: “Wait a while, you still have to finish what you haven’t had a chance to. Perhaps in a month or two, maybe brush up on Shamati, and accumulate power… but now you are not ready yet. Let the others try.”

There must be audacity here, but very serious and thorough audacity: “I deserve it and that’s it.” This isn’t a senseless attack but a careful calculation. I bring the efforts I made with me; I don’t simply demand things, and I do it together with the friends. It makes no difference whether we look like a gang of criminals and not a consolidated group, we demand decisively, as brave people who will not give up.
[68053]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/30/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”

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Lo Lishma (not for Her name) is when I agree to be partners with the Creator. I have no other choice since after all I want to attain everything that exists in the world. This is the way I begin, like an egoist, like all of us.

But afterward, I despair at acquiring what is desired. If they were corporal acquisitions, I would apply more effort since I know this does the trick, or I would go study at a university if knowledge were needed, or I would steal it, but one way or another I would attain what I wanted.

But if my goal is above this world and I want to reach the root of my soul, to discover the goal of my life, where it comes from and what the plan for it is, then I will not be able to find that in this world. And it is here that we see that we have no choice, and we can’t manage through our own forces, and thus we reach the wisdom of Kabbalah.

And here I am told, “Do you want to attain that? It’s possible, but in order to do that you need to bestow to the Creator.” And then I perceive the Creator as a partner, like the taxing authority, where I think I can gain for myself on the condition that I allocate to Him the percentage He deserves.

If this is His system, He created the world, and I am in this world as a worker, as an implementer, then it’s clear to me what the Owner requests. As it is written: “The shop is open
and the owner gives credit. The book is open
 and the hand writes.
 And whoever wishes to borrow 
may borrow.” Thus subconsciously, I feel that the Creator is my partner Who will ask for His part.

Lo Lishma, is my partnership agreement with the Creator. In truth, I would like to gain everything for myself and not share with anyone; I would like spirituality to continue like corporeality, with the same conditions. But there is no choice, I am forced to share: “Tell me how much You need, I agree.”

Even if it were 99%, but if the one percent that remains is dear to me, then I am prepared to work for it. The worker in the factory works for pay of 1,000 dollars a month, while the owner of the factory can make millions. Here, it is the same thing. Therefore, I agree to a partnership deal with the Creator, and this is what each one of us does. We don’t have to lie to ourselves. Our ego doesn’t understand another way.

And here is the key point: How should I relate to this partnership? Do I bring my egoism to this partnership and divide: That’s mine and that’s Yours?

Sometimes I want to take everything for myself. Sometimes I actually agree to give everything to Him, but of course, that’s on condition that I also get something from it. Subconsciously I mean it, in my agreeing to give everything, in all of this there should be some gain in it for myself.

In as much as my state of Lo Lishma seems to me as a perfect state, when I want to give everything to the Creator, I see myself in my imagination as adhered to the Creator, and thus everything that He receives will be mine. Thus I am prepared to give to Him like to my baby, where I am not sorry for anything that I give Him since nature obligates me to feel that it’s mine. It’s as if it is I, myself, and even more important than myself.

Whether I want it or not, I have no choice other than to be situated in this kind of unconscious partnership, that is beneficial to the ego, like with income tax. And if it’s possible to somehow conceal the taxes, then it’s clear that it won’t work with the Creator.

Thus, if we are on our own, our desires to reach bestowal to the Creator is egoistic, it’s a ‘fixed’ game from the beginning. We can agree to bestow only from desperation, a lack of choice, or from the expectation of receiving payment. Everyone wants such a powerful partner who controls everything; it’s a very profitable alliance. This is the basis for all religions.

But our goal is to recognize the egoistic alliance in this point, and to correct it. Since it is especially in this point that we battle: if my relationship to the Creator will become my “potion of death” or the “elixir of life.” Will I go from Lo Lishma to Lishma or stay completely within the deadly ego? Here is the critical point.
[67036]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/11/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”

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Question: How can I keep myself in the group although I feel that I hate them?

Answer: It isn’t terrible. Everyone experiences this hatred. See what it says about Rabbi Shimon’s students: such great people and what hatred was revealed among them. We need to look at it as a doctor treating an illness, and to treat it as a given fact not blaming anyone.

We have to accept the hatred as natural and essential, and we have to live with it. We have to know our nature and at the same time try to rise above it and build the spiritual relationships between us.

Wherever our mutual work with the help of the Light takes place above our ego, this is where we treat the hatred as a doctor treats a patient. When a doctor examines a patient, he doesn’t take his personality into account, but rather examines the illness and cures it. This is how we should act.

The ego is given to us from Above so that with its help, above it, we will build this connection with one another. If you don’t feel the hatred of friends inside you—you simply haven’t discovered it yet.
[67936]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/29/12, Writings of Rabash

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