Question: We have women’s meetings in the group but sometimes it seems that the women are dealing more with questions of their own. The men say openly that they don’t feel a necessity and a need from us. We tried to have meetings together, but they weren’t really successful. On what basis should we gather with the men’s group? How should it be carried out?

Answer: You should gather mainly in order to discuss general matters, like in a family: What should we do with our center, with our lessons, with the kids, etc. We have to discuss that. There have to be joint meetings.

Everything else is internal work. It should be separate for men and for women. Women need to create within themselves a vector, a direction for their aspiration through the men to the Creator. That’s the best way.

Then women will begin to see how the men are changing and are becoming more serious. You have to treat them both as those who are leading and as those who are being led. Just like our kids: On the one hand, they are younger than us, but they draw us forward. It is the same here. The women’s group grows to the extent of its assistance to the men, and through the men, they receive the Light, or to be more accurate, they receive the Light in the connection between the two groups. All the work is generally done internally.
[86360]
From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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Question: Actions that are intended to unite us are dictated by the fact that we enjoy them. This kind of delight is bigger than the one we get from any other activity. Does it mean that we are like robots that have only a plus or a minus?

Answer: It doesn’t matter. By no means should we refuse pleasures! Kabbalah prohibits it. A person who deliberately refuses pleasure is called “Nazir,” meaning someone who engages in self-restriction. Someone who chooses this goes against the plan of nature since the goal of nature is to bring us to absolute delight.

By transcending the framework of our egoism, by desiring to rise above it, against it, we open tremendous opportunities to receive pleasure. Our egoism restricts the ability to receive delight. How much can you eat or drink? How long can you dance? Everything has its limitations.

By ascending above the egoistic field into the external one, we reveal the world of Infinity. What does the world of Infinity mean? It’s a desire that is not limited by anything at all. It’s exactly what we should discover.

Why is the science that we study called Kabbalah? It teaches us how to reach maximum unlimited eternal delight and how to attain a sensation of everlasting existence within all coordinates and directions. So, when we study and stay with the group, we by no means should pursue self-restriction. Not at all!

One should only think of how to connect with others. At the same time, if you want to eat ten dinners or thrill yourself any other way, please do so. Nobody prohibits you from indulging into pleasures. What really matters is where your head is. That’s the most important thing.

There are ascetics who limit themselves as dieting women, sometimes even worse than that. So what? They don’t “kill” themselves by acting so, but rather feel even bigger pride and self-importance: “See, how good I am!”
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/16/12, Preliminary Lesson

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I’ve heard from the women that they deliberate about: “How we can put pressure on the men.” And I think that the women should not push, but help, not with words, but with their desire, even with menacing silence.

In general, a strong women’s group is the key to success. It stabilizes the men’s group. Like a wife and a home stabilize a man, and he will not run away, knowing how he has to go through life. It is a good “weight” on his feet: It is useful, it is required, it is necessary.

This addition is very effective in all cases. We have no idea how much a Kabbalist needs it. That is why I advise single men to quickly resolve this issue. It does not disturb women if they are not married, although if it is possible…but for men, it is a duty.

I say this in all seriousness. It is desirable; it is very desirable for those who want to advance to start a family. This stabilizes a man; this helps him. Yes, he gets an extra load, but this load is necessary. It is one of those burdens that you take upon yourself to move forward due to them. So, take this seriously.

Now, here are a few words about the interaction between the men and women’s groups. The women’s group helps; the women’s group performs the same actions along with the men. It can participate in almost all the events in such a way so as not to interfere with the men and not disturb them. So, it is better not to mix in the same room and coming together in circles; we are not interested what is going on behind our backs.

Women’s groups should be feminine. In the women’s group, besides the usual questions, specific questions should be raised: “How can we help our men so that they feel more responsibility in connection with each other?”

I remember my wife’s words; she told me about it, and I was amazed: Where did she get it from! I did not have this idea at the moment. I told her about the current problems, and she said: “You have to connect with each other with a new strength.” I had not come to this decision, and then I heard a voice from above. This comes from the Creator precisely through the women’s part, and therefore, it is really worth listening to women.

It is important to build a relationship with the world and the correct communication between men’s and women’s parts in each group: the family, the women’s group, the men’s group, and humanity.
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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Question: What is the prayer of many? Is it when we have one need or when I don’t have a single thought about myself, but only the desire of the group, of the world?

Answer: The prayer of many is when you can unite all the desires of all creatures in your request to raise them to the Creator, to give Him an opportunity to be revealed because this is His joy.

Question: How can I achieve this?

Answer: You are trying to sense them, to get out of yourself, and to begin to feel them, thus you inject their desires into yourself. In fact, you don’t need to cover the whole world and feel absolutely everyone. That will come later because you will perceive this single desire in this way. The Light will affect you and show you all this, evoking your feelings. But until then, you make such attempts as much as you can.

This is a time-consuming work because the process of preparation is the longest, most difficult period since we are operating in the dark. But then, each degree will have its own specific entrances and exits, internal process, analysis and synthesis of all that I do, manifest, and feel from others.

This inclusion of all desires into myself is what is called bestowal: when I start to feel the desires of others as my own. The desires mean aspirations for the Creator. And if there are none, it does not matter. When I start to connect with other people, first in the group, I begin to feel within the group that they strive for the Creator, even if they do not understand and do not know. I start to see and feel this desire everywhere: in people, animals, and plants. After all, the desire for life is also the yearning for the Creator, for the Light.
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 5

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Question: Before coming to the convention, we had many negative obstacles on our path. How should we accept and overcome them?

Answer: All the problems that arise along the way are not accidental; it is necessary to feel help in them. Under no circumstances should this postpone or annul your goal.

You need to re-evaluate the goal itself again and aim yourself even more sharply towards it. And then you pass and see that the last time, your intentions were imprecisely coordinated towards the goal: You forgot something, somehow weren’t yet focused on it, while now, thanks to the disturbances, you determined it accurately, compressed a little more compactly in your intention, and therefore you dive towards the goal.

So all the disturbances are to your advantage: They either stop you because you aren’t yet worthy to attain the goal, or conversely, they force you to compress so that you are able and worthy, and you proceed towards the goal.

We are inside a force field where there are no accidents, no exceptions, and no special treatments. This is how it works.
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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Question: Lately you have been directing the men not only to work in the group, but also to work with their wives. Is there a difference from the spiritual viewpoint between a man’s work with a man, a man with a woman, the male part with the female part, or my work with the external world?

Answer: In the meantime yes. All of them are on different levels and I exist in different relationships with them. Nevertheless, we begin from the corporeal, mutual relationships. We are still not disconnected from each other so that I would see only the soul in you. You are a woman. You constitute a part of some group. You have a name of your own, your problems, and your activities. This means that one has to take into account, all that surrounds you. It is also the same thing with the friends.

We exist in a certain framework; we can’t hover in the clouds and detach ourselves from the external sheath. Thus it imposes on us certain commitments. This outer sheath speaks about our special and exact things: man and woman. This is a very strict division in nature according to all the natural functions and we must take this into consideration.

Question: This is about the corporeal world. But from the viewpoint of spirituality, there is only reception and bestowal. Is there a difference in the relation to reception and bestowal? With whom do I participate in a mutual way: with a man, with a woman, or with the external world?

Answer: It depends on what level you are on. If you are already above the level of Hafetz Hesed, that is, bestowal for the sake of bestowal, above the attribute of Bina, then there’s no difference. And until that level, there is a difference.
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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We know that when we get inspiration by the study, the group, or by certain actions that we perform, meaning when we are influenced by the environment, we immediately change our values and according to this awakening are ready to advance in “faith above reason” and to work in bestowal and love.

When this awakening fades, we return to our ordinary values. The question is what can you do when you descend to the ordinary corporeal values? After all, you still remember how you were impressed previously by the upper values since you were under the influence of the environment and you were several levels higher than you are now. Why were you given this state?

You were not lowered so that you would simply try to return to the state you were in previously, but so that in the current lower state you can appreciate the upper values that impressed you before. You should want to live according to the values that were attained under the influence of the group even when the upper state disappears and does not illuminate on you anymore.

Although the illumination disappears from our corporeal recognition, you can renew it and keep the same upper values by your exertion, by spurring yourself. This is all our work.

This is called keeping the covenant. Although a person is not in the state of ascent he was before, he is still adhered to the same upper values.

It is as if you were raised to a certain level and then brought down again, and now you have to return to the same level by yourself. Then you are brought up again to an even higher level and brought down again and rise by yourself. Although the Light doesn’t illuminate on you anymore, you want to keep all the conditions of that level in “faith above reason.” You want to keep the same dedication for the group and the Creator, although you don’t get any support from them now. This is how you can advance.

This means that you are keeping the conditions of the covenant. Even if you signed this covenant when you were overflowing with evident feelings of love and were greatly impressed, now this attitude is not revealed, but you find the powers inside you to keep the covenant in the current conditions, just like it was before.

Thus a person advances. First he is given an example and the next time he has to perform by himself the same action he was shown. This is what happens time after time. The state a person attains by making efforts to find the powers to rise to the same values in “faith above reason” is called “a day” for him.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/21/12, Writings of Rabash

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On the part of the created beings, meaning all of us, there is only one action that we can perform: to aspire to unity. More or less, we understand the system in which we all exist and realize why we strive to act so.

We don’t unite for the sake of gaining or creating anything, nor do we build a team of people who will accomplish some earthly tasks as we are used to in this world. We unite to attract upon ourselves the upper Light that will truly unite us and manifest itself inside this interconnection.

The fact that we devote that much time to the exploration of various forms of behavior in the group can only be explained by our confusion. In fact, all that is required of us is a single action and nothing else.

The Light will also make a single action that will match our efforts. However, we have to make the utmost exertion. I should always imagine that I am at a certain level and want to rise to the next one. I need to apply effort that corresponds to the difference (∆) between the two levels.

This ladder is discrete. And that’s why my efforts are not enough. I need to be inspired and forced; I need to be obliged, teased, and pushed towards it.

With the help of our environment, we have a tremendous opportunity to generate negative forces that will push us ahead, “prick” us a little, cause some minor pain, and create troubles. On the other hand, they should trigger us and pull us forward by producing a good feeling in us and ascertaining that something huge and wonderful is awaiting us ahead.

These moves should be built on pain and jealousy, on the qualities that are inherent in our nature. I want to elicit these forces to work on me so that they shape me correctly and make negative forces join together behind me and push me forward by stimulating me from behind. A stimulus is a sharp stick with which donkeys are urged to go forward. Accordingly, I want those stimuli to urge my “donkey.”

Besides, I want to be pulled forward. I need my surroundings to permanently remind me of the beautiful goals that are set in front of me, about what can be reached in this life and in this world if we manage to rise above it into the sensation of the infinity of the next level.

So, I want to be pushed and pulled at the same time. If I am in the environment and can awaken myself in relation to it as described above and if the environment is also ready to act similarly in response, meaning that the environment is acting this way relative to me, relative to all others—everybody together relative to each and everyone, then we will be able to elicit sufficient internal tension that will be equal to the delta (∆), to the over-fall between two levels.

Let’s mark our current level a zero (0); the next level will be marked as one (1). Our current state is a preparation period to level one. It’s the hardest and the most unpleasant phase since we all are as blind kittens that feel or know nothing. We have to blindly follow what’s written in the books. We don’t even have to understand what’s written in them. This is how we advance since the correction really starts from zero.

The Light impacts us constantly, and as soon as we hit the threshold level, it starts changing us: It alters our ego into its opposite, into bestowal. Due to the power of bestowal, instead of being repulsed from each other, we begin contacting and uniting with each other, thus creating a system of interconnection.

As soon as we manage to create this kind of system at the very first level of our interconnection, the Light emerges within it and fills the space which was always present among us. The only difference is that previously we used to reject others, and now within this new space we try to make contact with others beyond our egos, and the space is being filled with the Light. This is what we call revelation of the Creator.
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From Lesson 1, Kharkov Congress, 8/17/2012

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Question: There is group work and there is dissemination. What should be the internal clarification so that there will be no diversion to one side or another, so that there will be a harmonious integration inside me?

Answer: A harmonious integration is when you feel that nothing matters, that the external world, the group, the Creator, and you are all the same. Only then will there be a harmonious integration, at the end of correction. In the meantime, you will always have the problem of what to deal with. We have to judge according to the circumstances.

Of course, the main thing is the group and the state it is in, since if I don’t have that I have nothing to disseminate with and nothing to turn to the Creator with. I cannot turn to Him by myself.

So the group and its connection are primary. Then comes the attitude, that is, I am with the group as a collective revelation, the clarification of the Creator as the One who creates, corrects, and fills us.

Then, when you already begin to perceive this model, you can turn to the world, since it is better to turn to the Creator when you tie it to the whole world.
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/18/12, Lesson 4

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Throughout the seminar, each group, each circle, must find a question that he would like to ask. Discuss it among yourselves, come to the state when this is really a very important question for you, the most important one, which you all agree to clarify from the bottom of your heart, and that is exactly the question you want to ask.

Do not yield to your friends now, like we usually do it, saying: “They are great, they are big, they know better; I bow before what I hear from them.” Here, it is the opposite: “No, I believe that my opinion is more important.” I want to captivate them with my opinion instead of our common work. So in no way can there be any concessions here, but on the contrary, the realization of the brightest prayer, its peak: what we should really ask! And it should be of the feelings and of the mind. It must combine everything that we really need in it.

“Chew it thoroughly,” analyze what you will ask for. Do as in a fairy tale: You are given one wish, once you will say it, it will be implemented!

Afterward, we will try to hear and possibly unite all of these desires. We will write them out, connect them all together, try to find what is the most common among them, and that will actually already be a collective prayer.

Most importantly, express yourself concisely, coherently, clearly, so that it will just break the heart!

First of all, we need to warm the hearts up so that they all become soft, melt, and unite into one. Then it will be possible to come to the collective agreement about what is important for us.
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From the Kharkov Convention “Uniting to Ascend” 8/17/12, Workshop 3

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