If there is no desire in a person’s heart, he falls asleep and is considered dead in spirituality. After all, spirituality begins when the desire awakens it. The desire never comes by itself.

Even if a person is awakened from Above, and suddenly feels a longing in his heart, a strange desire—it is all on account of the Upper. Nothing but that will come to us from Above. Although it may seem to a person that he advances with the one desire that he was given as a present from Above, he cannot advance by himself. It will go away the same way it appeared, leaving almost no traces.

We have to try and accurately clarify where our desire comes from. It can come from the group, from a friend, from an impression, from a certain event, or from a certain memory. A person attributes all this to himself because he doesn’t know and cannot feel that it comes from the outside. But he must calculate and check whether he was searching for it a moment before that, in tension, did he try to attain that desire? If there is nothing that ties the previous moment to the appearance of the desire, it means that it isn’t his, but that it simply passed through him and wasn’t registered on his account.

This desire doesn’t bring him correction, but is rather like an exercise given to a child so that he will learn. But it is not considered part of one’s personal advancement. While an example together with his participation is enough for a child, for us it is not enough. All our advancement is only thanks to our own desire.

This means that I have to exert myself with regard to my environment and the books in situations where I cannot do that and do not have any previous desire. It is from such situations that I have to try and somehow wake up.

Here the habit of working according to a clear schedule is very important so that I know what I have to do now. Then I will remember and oblige myself to do it. This can also be thanks to the mutual guarantee in the group, which always reminds me of my obligation to myself and to others.

I can get additional support if I build a system around me that constantly reminds me how important spirituality is and makes me search again.

But even if I am reminded from Above in a way that I don’t understand, by “the direct and indirect influence of the Creator,” in the hidden ways as the Creator operates—I still have to continue by myself afterwards until I discover my own desire.
[66052]
From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/11/12, The Zohar

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Our evolution to become “human,” to resemble the Creator, takes place because I change my corporeal mind and feelings into upper spiritual ones. I want to resemble the Creator, to use my mind and feeling to resemble the upper force. Thus I make contact with the upper force, receive an external force, and start developing myself.

This is not the way it was on the inanimate, vegetative, and animate levels within a person when I worked only with my mind and heart and nothing but that. But to the extent I yearn for my heart and mind to resemble the upper, I receive forces from Him and I can demand that He change my feelings and mind.

This means that I don’t acquire life experience on this world’s level; I don’t change my desire by using my mind in order to sooner or later gain as the wise do in this world. Actually, I totally change the way I work.

I leave my beastly senses and mind at the level of basic necessity in order to provide me with the basic necessities in life and not more than that, and I start to develop a spiritual mind and feeling inside me. Spirituality means for the benefit of others.

Of course, this is totally different from what I had before and I have to start rising above my old nature. Starting from this decision onwards, I will demand for the upper force to change me.

Before, I didn’t turn to It and didn’t feel anything. But in order to enable me to turn to the upper force, there are people in this world who are in contact with It. They processed and changed their desires, thoughts, and mind, and wrote about the process they underwent thanks to the upper Light.

I read about the process in which the influence of the Light transformed them and I want the same to happen to me. I want to be incorporated in this process, in this action, and to adhere to their story. They tell me about their feelings, about how it works, and about the changes that took place in them. I also want to experience these actions. To the extent that I wish to undergo these changes, I evoke the Light that begins to influence me.

The action of the Light is revealed in the connection with others. Until now I developed my own desire to receive and the mind that helped me use others, but now I have to develop above that in order to connect with others. Only my connection with others will reveal the Light. On the other hand, when the Light is revealed, it will enable me to connect with others.

While reading the book, I only need to acquire a desire so that I will understand and feel that it talks about connection. When the Light is revealed, it is revealed in exactly the same way it is described in the book and will fulfill the connection among us. The book only tells us about this connection and nothing but that.
[65640]
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/6/12, The Zohar

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All the work is done by the Light, which returns to the source. But for this I first need to realize my evil, to feel that my desire, my qualities, my state cause me harm. I feel so bad that I am about to explode from this demand called MAN, a prayer.

However, this demand must be properly structured: Why do I wish to rid myself of my evil? Is it only to make myself feel good, or I am not able to tolerate this evil because it is not me that it harms, but others?

When I discover that my qualities are harming my neighbor and the Creator (and this can only be discovered through working in the group), I find myself before two uncompromising facts. On one hand, I value bestowal very much and wish to attain bestowal to the Creator through bestowing to the creatures, as it is written: “From love for the creatures to love for the Creator.” But on the other hand, I feel that I am very far from it, and this causes me suffering.

The reforming Light (the Light which returns to the source) gives me this realization, and this is called preparation, through which I realize my full measure and achieve an absolute prayer, desperation from my lack of the quality of bestowal, participation, mutual guarantee, and love for my neighbor, without which it is impossible to attain love for the Creator.

Man purposefully lacks the need for bestowal so he would feel that he needs it! Because only then will I have an opportunity to someday escape my egoistic desire, and when I attain bestowal, it will be the real bestowal.

But if I could see pleasure and a certain personal benefit in bestowal from the beginning, instead of being bestowal, this would be a concealed reception. This is why it is necessary to advance from the opposite by working in the group and preparing your desire. And until I feel that connection is more important than me and my friend is more important than me, I am not considered to have a desire to bestow and merge with the Creator. [Read more →]

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Question: How can we awaken care for the whole world inside our hearts?

Answer: We all exist in one spiritual vessel, in one desire. The Creator created one soul and it is impossible to selectively care for just one part of it, but only for the entire, full vessel. Nothing exists “partially” in spirituality.

If we are talking about bestowal, then we have to be concerned with becoming a candle for the Creator, which means correcting the full vessel. Since the Creator made one, single desire, bestowal can only awaken in all of it entirely. And as Baal HaSulam explains in the article “Mutual Guarantee,” we exist only for this sake.

Therefore, a person who does not care for the common vessel does not care for himself. We just have to open our eyes and see that this is the exact same thing. The world is an imprint of what we have inside; it only seems to exist on the outside.

Therefore, the aim isn’t for “me to care for the world,” but to open my eyes, to see the truth and understand that care for the world and care for yourself is the exact same care. We have to dispel this fog and clearly see that this is one soul!

Instead of “awakening care for the world” inside myself, I have to take care of myself—of why I don’t see that the whole world is my spiritual vessel, my soul.

From this it is clear that I cannot stop caring for the world under any circumstances because this is the main part of me. Everything I feel inside of me now is just my body, and this sensation called “the body” will die one day and will disappear from my consciousness. And only the care that I will acquire for my external “body” will become revealed to me as my soul and will remain with me forever. In it I will acquire my true, eternal life.

This is the inner revolution we have to go through. Essentially, this is the meaning of passing the Machsom (the boundary separating us from the upper world). When a person begins connecting and identifying himself with what is outside instead of the ego that he previously perceived as being himself, this is called passing the Machsom.

Baal HaSulam says that this requires only a psychological revolution. This blindness and deception holds the reason for all of the evil we feel now.
[65711]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/8/12

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We start from the shattering. Without it we would be just like the inanimate, vegetative, and animate levels of nature that act by obeying the one force that motivate and operate them from within. But because of the shattering, spiritual attributes have penetrated the desire to receive for oneself in their opposite form.

All of creation advances under the direct influence of the Light, but man advances under its opposite influence. All this is so that he will be able to understand that he needs to adapt to the force that motivates him by himself.

The more he advances, the more he feels the pressure upon him. Eventually he has to fully “format” himself, in order to get the right form. In the meantime, he gradually grows in his desire, in an opposite way from the desired form.

It takes a long time until a person finally begins to feel the pressure inside him in different directions, which molds him like raw material. If he tries to raise his sensitivity, he feels how the Creator works on him. No matter what external activities he has, there is an internal life in which he constantly tries to feel how the Creator pressures him in every direction through different feelings.

It is like a mother who is constantly by her son’s side, telling him what he should or shouldn’t do, correcting his every action. In the same way a person constantly feels internally how the Creator operates on him, as if he is some soft piece of clay in the hands of a sculptor pushing him gently, but firmly letting him feel his pressure. But he has to want this pressure.

It is somewhat difficult and unpleasant, but on the other hand, a person understands that the work that is being done on him cannot be stopped and he wants it to continue. This is the initial feeling of a person who begins to feel inside himself the actual work of the Creator on him.

We can feel this bestowal inside us because after the shattering there are different forces and different influences inside us, as a copy of the spiritual actions. These are potential actions that exist in the general soul that wanted to perform them in order to bestow. But after the shattering it all became “in order to receive,” and now it exists in us in an opposite, egoistic, form. But it is thanks to this that we can identify the Creator’s work on us.

This is why a person’s behavior becomes opposite from the Creator’s actions. There is a conflict: a resistance on the side of a person, on the side of his clay, and the pressure on the side of the Creator. Thus they beat each other and a person feels the pressure and the beating as the Creator tries to show him what is wrong with him.

Eventually he begins to justify the internal pressure and goes along with the Creator’s actions, wanting them, like a horse that obeys his rider. He feels the leadership as a revelation of love and justifies it. Thus he acquires faith and connects to the Creator. He moves to the sculptor’s side. Although he still feels sufferings, they are felt in the clay, whereas he already identifies with the intention, with the one who creates all the different forms in him.

He connects to the hands of the craftsman that creates and sculpts him. He actually wants the craftsman to affect him so, and increasingly yearns for him, until he adheres to the actions of the upper one. They adhere in the same motion, the same intention, and the suffering becomes a pleasure.

All the sufferings that the clay felt disappear and a person finds himself above it, in his intention, and sees that the clay is meaningless. He agrees with the Creator’s work on him and understands that “only good and grace shall pursue me.” He rises above his feelings and adheres to the intention of the Maker, to the attitude of the Creator, and reaches complete adhesion with Him.
[65060]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/2/12, Writings of Rabash

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Question: Baal HaSulam writes in “The Freedom” that the method of Kabbalah is intended for the purification of Israel, and this refers to the recognition of evil. How is one connected to the other?

Answer: Do you really achieve something good by recognizing your own evil? Of course, because this has led you to purification, you have become better, more receptive; you feel more, understand more, you permeate the matter of your desire. Before it would come down to good or bad sensations, and you had no knowledge of anything else. You would simply respond to stimuli like a very primitive animal. Just like a frog’s leg automatically contracts under the influence of an electric impulse.

Now you have questions: “Why do I do this? Who does this come from? What is it for? Is it for the good or the bad?” You rise above your nature by analyzing the situation, and in some way it’s the same as coming out of your nature. Like a worm in an apple, you start making your way towards the light.

Imagine a red, juicy apple, and you’re inside of it. And an opening leading to the exterior appears. Even if you haven’t yet gone through it, you already begin to distinguish that there is light there, and it is dark here. Differentiating between them becomes your recognition of evil.

This is an enormous achievement amid the size of creation, which serves as our “apple”…..
[65395]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/5/12 “The Freedom”

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A prayer is a desire which appears in the heart at every moment. The main work lies in understanding your prayer: what I want, what I should want, and whether my prayer has reached the heights of the forefathers. In other words, I examine what my heart is feeling. After all, I am not its owner, and I must place severe guards and protectors over it to watch it and build a system to influence it.

Only my environment, my friends, rule over my heart. If I create this environment, it will be able to control it, but I can’t control it on my own. This is my only freedom of choice.

It follows that my prayer completely depends upon the environment, and it must reach my “half of the coin” with its help, a one hundred percent desire towards the Light, bestowal. For this reason, with a correct attitude towards the environment and a demand for them to convince my heart to have the desire to bestow (the importance of it), they’ll create the correct prayer in me. It’s in this way that I’ll complete my half of the coin and finish my work.

It turns out that instead of working on fulfillment and with my heart directly, I work with the environment, directing it so it’ll influence my heart and make it want the right kind of fulfillment, meaning to become filled with the quality to bestow, love for one’s neighbor. This is exactly what I am lacking now. When I complete this entire process, I find the “second half of the coin,” fulfillment.

And here “the common and the private are equal,” everyone is absolutely equal. After all, every element is equally important in an integrated analog system. No one is big or small, rich or poor; everyone must earn their half of the coin and reach a complete specific desire which is only attributed to them.

This is why no one is more special than others, greater or smaller in this kind of work, all friends are absolutely equal. After all, if the smallest correct desire is missing, we’ll not achieve the perfect half of the coin. And this is why it’s necessary to care for everyone.
[65422]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/5/12, Writings of Rabash

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Baal Hasulam, “The Arvut” (Mutual Guarantee), (abridged version): “The impression that comes to a person when engaging in Mitzvot between man and God is completely the same as the impression he gets when engaging in Mitzvot between man and man. He is obliged to perform all the Mitzvot Lishma (for Her name), without any hope for self-love. Here, in this exalted point, the love of the Creator and the love of his friend unite and actually become one. Thus he affects a certain measure of advancement on the ladder of love for others in all the people of the world in general. And one who cannot overcome and conquer his filthy self-love, sentences himself and the whole world to the scale of sin”

We don’t know what bestowal is. We only know it is the opposite of us, opposite to our nature, our desire, our tendencies, and all our attributes. So how can we go against our nature? How can we resist the main force that is imprinted in us?

Fish swim upstream to the place where they lay their eggs. It is hard to swim against the stream, but nature obliges them to, and this is a hint for us: If a person wants to be something worthwhile, he has to go against the stream.

It is hard work to overcome one’s nature. Where do we get the power to do it? How can I demand them to? Do I only want to rest and not ask where I can get the power to do that? Even if my power grows, according to egoism, it is only in order to make a double profit from it. What about the damage? It is the opposite; I am up to my ears in egoistic desires. If I cause myself harm, it can break me, but sometimes it can make me go even through unpleasant situations.

But we are talking about practical bestowal here. How can I actually advance towards it, if nature has denied me the possibility to do so? My “car” doesn’t run without fuel, meaning without calculations of egoistic gain.

In fact, Kabbalists tell us that we can’t reach bestowal by ourselves, and that we can’t ask for the power of bestowal, but we can ask for bestowal egoistically, so that there will be something left in it for us. Such an intention to reach maximum detachment from ourselves is called “Lo Lishma,” (not for its sake).

How can one reach that? In order to do so I have to be in a group. There is no other way. The group is outside me and I want to act in its favor. What for? I am told that I gain the upper World this way. “Wow! A whole eternal world? It’s worth it!”

And so I make great efforts to bestow hoping for a reward in return. Everyone wants to gain something; it is natural and legitimate. I don’t operate alone, but with the friends who also want to gain the upper World. And even if we, like “healthy egoists,” are ready to give each other something in order to get something from Above in return, I still study together with the friends, bow my head before them, and hear from them how important bestowal is.

At first I translate everything into self-benefit: “Of course bestowal is important. After all thanks to it I will get the upper World.” This means that instead of bestowal, I hear the words “to receive.” But I still hear, and gradually this idea takes on a form inside me and turns into something that I didn’t actually ask for. Thus, I gradually move from “Lo Lishma” to the altruistic intention of “Lishma,” (for its sake).

“Is that possible? I really didn’t ask for it….” True, but now I see the benefit it brings. The values inside me begin to change, and suddenly the attribute of bestowal itself becomes a treasure for me. “It is better to get rid of the attribute of receiving. It brings me nothing but trouble. It is better to bestow.” In the meantime it is “Lo Lishma,” but I continue, I want to get rid of the problems and the troubles, I am looking for the true meaning of life, and the Light that is concealed in the method of Kabbalah reforms me a little.

All my actions and my intentions are egoistic, inside me I think lightly of the whole world and deride everyone. I only have to grab the feet of the Creator… and yet, by all this I reach the reforming Light.

It makes no difference which attributes I was given from the start, because it is the Creator who created them. It doesn’t matter what thoughts and desires awaken in me, after all they all come from Him. What’s important is to make as many efforts as possible to connect and to study. Then I draw the Light and it changes me, it actually performs an operation in my heart, in my soul.

And so bestowal becomes a value for me. I think less and less about receiving. I find bestowal in its pure form attractive. A new perception ripens in me: There is nothing better than to live in bestowal and to forget about myself.

At first I expect to get rid of all the troubles with the help of the upper world, but soon this personal reward will also disappear. We should simply let the Light do its job, and I will not be able to believe that I was such an egoist. The Light performs this long operation and gradually implants the attribute of bestowal in me.
[61342]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/21/11, “The Arvut”

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Question: How are the Maccabean war and Chanukah felt in the internal work, as the ascent of Malchut to Bina?

Answer: The work is always on the desire to receive that awakens and on my intention with regards to it. The Maccabean war symbolizes the fact that I have to raise my intention above the desire to receive—not to use it, but only to rise above it. I don’t descend into the desire; I don’t study it. The main thing is to restrict my desire to receive, to rise above it and to acquire the form of Bina: to bestow in order to bestow. Bina is called Hafetz Hesed, and it has a huge desire, all of Malchut de Ein Sof. But I don’t use this desire; I only rise above it and want to bestow more than anything. I don’t touch this desire.

It’s like a person to whom I can give 10 dollars to keep for me, knowing he will not spend it. There are people you can depend on even if we speak about 100, 1000, 10,000 or even a million dollars. This is the level of Bina in a person when you can be sure that he won’t spend this money, meaning how pure he can stay and not touch the money. But there are people who can use the desire to receive with the intention in order to bestow: to take the “money” and to somehow bestow with it.

We are required to use our corporeal life according to our necessity, and this should “not be criticized nor praised,” meaning we should not use it in this egotistic world but to reach the level of Bina in the spiritual sense.

This is the preliminary state from which the wisdom of Kabbalah begins and which explains to us how to work with the desires to receive with the intention of in order to bestow. In them, we already resemble the Creator, but not until then. Until then you don’t fill others, but simply don’t want to receive anything, like a person who lives alone in the forest not needing anything for oneself.
[64300]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/26/11, Writings of Rabash

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Question: Which desires are we supposed to reveal when we connect? Why do I need to see the desires to receive (AHP) if I am not able to use them?

Answer: Every one of us is like a cogwheel—saw-toothed. My desires to bestow, Galgalta ve Eynaim, are inside the wheel, and the teeth on the outside are my desires to receive, AHP. I connect with others through these desires to receive.

I only desire bestowal, Hafetz Hesed, within my Galgalta ve Eynaim. In other words, I need nothing, and there is nothing I could do with it.

The Galgalta ve Eynaim is the condition of my presence in the system without causing it any harm. I possess this power of resistance against my egoistic desire.

The Galgalta ve Eynaim are not just small desires of small power, (Aviut 0, 1, 2). They represent the fact that I can provide all of my 620 desires with an intention for the sake of bestowal, like Bina. I do not work with these desires, and I do not wish to use them for my own sake.

When I make a calculation for my entire vessel, desire, without wishing to receive for my own sake, I place a screen, Masach, in front of me. This refers to being inside the desires to bestow, Galgalta ve Eynaim.

This is not a restriction. This is because I simply refuse to receive during a restriction. Here, I feel my 620 desires, and I say “no” in response to every desire because I would rather unite with the upper one. Connection and the group, through which I will attain the Creator, are more important to me. However, I feel all these desires, and this means being inside the Galgalta ve Eynaim.

If I also can work with these desires and connect to the upper one even more strongly, to employ these desires to receive the AHP, the teeth, and use them to grab on and connect with someone, instead of simply not getting in anyone’s way, this means that I work with the receiving Kelim, the AHP.
[61638]
From a Lesson 12/23/11, “Study of the Ten Sefirot”

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